Oversharing for TMI Tuesday

1. Would you rather get a spanking in front of your family or do a striptease at your workplace?

Oh no, the impossible question! I did get my boobs out at work once, and I fucked myself in my office along with completing stretching tasks at one of the projects I facilitated. Just naming a few of my misdemeanours. But these all happened when I was on my own. The risk of getting caught was real, but I could take big precautions to ensure I wouldn’t. Having a spanking in front of my family is something I could never do. My family is my children, mum, brother and nieces. My brother is the only one who wouldn’t be surprised, having walked in on me seducing his mate when I was a horny teenager visiting him on my post A-level break. He hid his embarrassment well at seeing his little sister swallowing his mates cock, and the only comment that followed was him asking how long I’d had my nipple pierced.

Anyway, I digress… A strip tease at work, that’s my humiliation of choice… Maybe not as impossible as I first thought.

2. You are a sexy _____ .

cock wielding, long armed deviant with an ability to melt me with your kisses. (Cock, kisses and hugs, you can see my wish list currently)

3. Hey baby tonight _____ me.

…Indulge… Let’s see, tonight I want to curl up in warm, strong arms. Safe against the world. Not because I’m feeling fragile but because I want to be wrapped up in someone. And last night? Well, last night I just needed to be left alone. To satisfy my own carnal cravings, porn in one hand and Doxy in the other, wave after wave of orgasm ripping through me in private release. Tomorrow that may change, I may become indecently aroused and want my face crushed into the floor while you hold my hands behind my back and slowly graze my lips and asshole with your hot tongue, ready to pound your thick cock deep into my heat.

So tonight, just indulge me.

4. Would you rather have a rewind button or a pause button on your life?

Pause! I was raised with a saying “You can’t live your life backwards” and as a result have always tried to be the best I can be. Sure, things haven’t always been perfect but I like the way things are now. There are definitely moments I would love to pause,  to eke out a little longer. Proud-mummy-moments, happy-slut-experiences and goal-achieved-and-level-up-times. But I don’t want to go back and relive. I have so much more to get back to.

5. Would you rather have noisy sex neighbors or nosy neighbors?

Nosy neighbours. I find noisy sex to be distracting, and am not overly loud. Well, sometimes I can be, but it’s a gutteral roar during a powerful post-edging orgasm rather than noisy during the whole experience. I like the idea of nosy neighbours though. What would they see? What would they say? Would they ask to join me? Or would the shame they feel at their own voyeurism lead them to stay home and take themselves in hand? I have a few rather lovely neighbours, now I’m thinking…

Bonus: Would you rather mentally or physically never age? Why?

Mentally I’m at a good age now, physically I’m coming into what I feel is my prime. The thought of dementure scares me. I have seen people become empty shells, and others regress. As I said above I don’t want to hit rewind. Also, the forgetfulness and mental decline are things that can’t currently be fought. I know that research opens up new options all of the time but I don’t fancy my chances much. Physical ageing can be delayed through exercise and diet, and I’m always up for a challenge. I know the risk factors from my immediate family, and am taking steps to ensure that I am battle ready if it turns out I have those markers. Osteoporosis, for example, can be delayed by quitting smoking (3.5 years clear), a calcium rich diet (I love all calcium rich foods) and high impact exercise (long distance running) which lays down extra calcium in the bones strengthening them for future punishment. Yes, the physical ageing is one I’m better equipped to deal with.

 #AtoZChallenge 2019 Tenth Anniversary badge

TMI Tuesday blog

Inquiring minds

dsc_04191143498115018246957.jpg

1. Did leave your last love for some one else or no one else?

I haven’t ever left a lover for someone else. Unless you count me leaving P for myself and my children… If I have ended a love affair it has been for a reason between myself and the other person involved, either incompatibility or apathy. (Or both)

2. Do you enjoy being alone? Yes or No

I love time alone. I will often feel lonely in a crowd, but on my own I can revel in the peace.

3. Which of these reasons is most likely to spark your motivation for solitude:
a. It sparks my creativity
b. I enjoy the quiet
c. Being alone helps me get in touch with my spirituality
d. I value the privacy
e. I do not feel liked when I am around others
f. I cannot be my true self when I am around others

This one is hard. I do enjoy the quiet, and I value the privacy. Sometimes it sparks my creativity, and I am definitely more able to be in touch with my inner self. But really I think the main reason is that I need to recharge. I love being around people, watching, listening and learning. But… I can find excessive people-time to be a drain on my energy. I’m not sure if this is a stage on my self discovery or just who I am, but time alone is definitely my way re-energising myself.

4. Have you ever tried to win back an ex-significant other?
– Yes or No
– Were you successful?
– If yes, did you regret it?
– How long did the reconciliation last?

Oh goodness, yes! M and I were on and off for 14 months, at least two of those reconciliations were instigated by me. I don’t regret any of the time I spent with M. Some of it was painful at the time, some is hard and ugly to look back on. But M is no longer an ex. He is part of my family. And I don’t know if we would be here without the journey that we travelled together. We tried, we failed. Our coming together was part of something more important than a passionate love affair.

5. Do you mind if your significant gives or receives harmless flirtation?

I flirt with anyone so I would be a little hypocritical if I was to mind! Harmless flirtation is important to me, but not as important as knowing I am loved by the other. While discussing dating I discovered that an unwritten rule of the first date is to show yourself off as attractive to others. This is done by flirting! Who knew?!

Bonus: If you really knew me, you’d know _____.

that there is ALWAYS a silver lining. Even when you have to look really, really hard!!

 #AtoZChallenge 2019 Tenth Anniversary badge

TMI Tuesday blog
Inquiring minds was first published on A Leap of Faith

 

On The Road To Eroticon- Meet and Greet

dsc_0052819781582055378714.jpg

I’m winding my way down the road to eroticon.

I’ve been looking forward to attending Eroticon since I saw the posts surrounding last years event. I knew then that I wanted to be there this year, and would find a way to make that happen. My gran died in June, and I was given a little bit of money. Early bird tickets were released almost straight away, and I knew that I had to sign myself up. The closer it gets the more nervous I become. Seeing the “Meet and Greet” posts have built

NAME (and Twitter if you have one)

I’m N, barefoot and @thebarefootsub
Tell us 3 things you are most looking forward to at Eroticon 2019

  1. There are so many people I have met online, it is exciting (and a little bit nerve racking) to meet you in person.
  2. I’m looking forward to discovering more about blogging, learning new skills and gaining in confidence in my abilities.
  3. Eroticon is a huge leap of faith for me. Meeting new people en mass is always scary, and a weekend of full on learning is going to be a big challenge. It would be easier to stay at home and relax with my children, more comfortable. But I was never one for sitting in my comfort zone, and I’m looking forward to stretching myself in a new way.

We are creating a play list of songs for the Friday Night Meet and Greet. Nominate one song that you would like us to add to the play list and tell us why you picked that song.

I love to dance to this song with my children, even on the most stressful day we will end up relaxed and laughing. I’m sure more than a few of us could use a bit of musical courage. Add in that as sex bloggers we rely on social media to spread the love this song seems like a great tribute.

What is your favorite item or book you’ve purchased so far this year?

This year has only been short. In the last year I could tell you exactly, but I’m a stickler for details and…. The favourite item I have purchased this year is a 9″ girthy suction cup vibrator. It isn’t so much about the toy, more about the shopping trip itself. My wonderful friend B had a very important request for me, but I think that is probably a blog post in itself.

You can have an unlimited supply of one thing for the rest of your life, what is it? Sushi? Scotch Tape?

An odd answer for the barefoot sub… Footwear!

I don’t just mean sexy heels (that I can’t walk in.) I mean bamboos socks, snuggly slippers, supportive walking boots and flip flops. I love having a nice pair of knee high boots for moseying around in the autumn, and fluffy socks for evenings in. But I mostly will need running shoes and socks, and they are more pricey than thigh high patent leather lace up boots with scarlet soles…

What is your favourite quote from a movie?

My favourite movie is Burn After Reading. A bizarrely funny Coen brothers film which I have watched numerous times. Silly and dark, and the quote I have chosen just about sums it up.

Report back to me when, uh…I don’t know. When it makes sense.

What is your word suggestion to next years Eroticon anthology?

Explore

Complete the sentence:
I feel…

Going for a bare foot puddle stomp in the rain. That should stop the nerves building too much!

Eroticon 2019 Attending

 

On the road to eroticon- meet and greet was first published on A Leap of Faith.

Hearts and flowers for TMI Tuesday

forfetlife_dlp_mg_96894804222126933861375.jpg
Photo Credit: Dark Lion Photography

1. What are your romantic needs?

My romantic needs are minimal in all honesty. For the most part I get what could be seen as traditional romance from my friends. I miss having someone to cook with, but I have wonderful friends who will happily come round for dinner. Having someone to confide in, to share my joys and sadness, my friends are wonderful for filling that void (if you can call it that?) It could be made a little better if I had naked hugs in bed, and those confidences were in the form of pillow talk, chest hair tickling my nose while wrapped in strong arms. Companionable silences while each enjoying our own reading is something I miss. Conventional romance…. Flowers, if I want some I buy my own. Lingerie, again I buy my own. Chocolates, yes, you guessed it, I buy my own. (Actually, I buy myself nice cheeses instead of chocolates but you get my point)

2. What are your sexual needs?

Sexually I wax and wane with regards to my needs. I’m very skilled at managing my own physical requirements for orgasm, however what I am unable to replicate is the scent and touch of a man. I have friends who would happily be the man to stave off those cravings but I would rather wait until the dynamic is right for me too. My sexuality is mainly submissive, and with a man who can get inside my head the slut comes out to play, if that is what he also likes.

3. Do you agree that marriage was a pragmatic institution and in today’s society traditional marriage is not a need but merely a want?

For some people marriage is very much a need, a place of emotional security and a celebration of love between two families. The married couples tax allowance is also available for couples in a civil partnership, and with a maximum of £238 per year available you would be waiting a long time to recoup your wedding costs via this scheme. Apologies for my cynicism…. Having just celebrated my first Divorce-versary you may be surprised to learn that I would consider marriage in the future, but it would be choice rather than necessity which would lead me to that outcome.

4. Do you find conflict in your romantic relationships exciting?

The definition of conflict is “a serious disagreement or argument”. I do not find this kind of relationship exciting, whether romantic or platonic. That isn’t to say I want to be in constant agreement with those around me, I like healthy debate and differing opinions. This leads to interesting and challenging conversations and often I learn something.

5. During sex are you focused on positions or the quality and connection with your lover?

Quality and connection! I’ve had lovers want to go through a whole list of positions, turning it into some form of prescribed porno. Often the best moves are the least attractive. Saying that there are certain positions that I love to be in, that really get me going. And there are some that flick the off switch. Having the connection means that the lines of communication are open, that those “off” spots can be discussed in advance and avoided, or, if the passion is burning high then those scenarios are short circuited. Either outcome is a win for me.

Bonus: Men, what do you have a hard time talking to your lover(s) about?

Ok, so I’m not a man but I’m going to break the rules a little… Getting my lovers to open up about their feelings is something I struggle with. Something I have learnt over recent months is that there is strength in showing your emotional vulnerability. People who love us can’t support us if we keep it locked away. Personally I think that sharing emotions is a really intimate thing, more so than sex, and while I value a strong Dominant man I like it when they let me into their dark. Trust,strength and soft edges.

February Photofest

 

TMI Tuesday blog

Tricky TMI Tuesday: 7th August 2018

tricky_tmi

Tricky questions for this weeks TMI Tuesday. I guess that is the point, and maybe the fun?

1. Is falling in love effortless?

I don’t honestly know if falling in love is effortless. For me love seems to be a series of ways to torture myself. Perhaps the falling in love is effortless, but I have yet to fall in love with someone who can love me back in the way that I deserve? Oooh, tricky….

2. Is your significant other most like your mom or your dad?

My significant other is currently my Doxy…  I don’t think either of my parents resemble a sex toy so this one is the least tricky question…

3. Which parent do you identify with most?

Yesterday, while out for lunch with a friend, I was very grumpy because I couldn’t hear the conversation over the music. I may have turned into my dad momentarily when I asked the staff to turn the music down… I remember him being a bit grumpy with the volume of music from the music my brother and I would play in our youth. And I inherited his dry sense of humour and love of food; particularly Liver and Onion, mashed potato, mushy peas and pork pies…

4. What one thing are you lacking that you believe will make your life run smoother?

Currently, focus. I have been struggling with maintaining my focus recently due to a change in routine, the school holidays and now my boys being away for a long spell. My mind has run riot and I have forgotten to take care of the basics which has left me chasing my tail, low on energy and struggling for focus.

5. Which is sexier: constantly pushing the boundaries or playing by the rules?

I am a pleaser, I love having rules and thrive under a nurturing yet demanding Dominant. The sexiest thing for me is being pushed to break through my boundaries. But breaking the rules…no, definitely not sexy for me. Or attractive in any way shape or form.

Bonus: Do you think confessions make a relationship stronger?

I think that openness and honesty makes a relationship stronger. If you are open and honest there is no need for confessions, surely? Unless the confessions are hopes and dreams, fantasies and desires… but again, that goes under the heading of openness and honesty for me.

art beach beautiful clouds
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Click here to see what everyone else is up to:

TMI Tuesday blog

 

Tricky TMI Tuesday: 7th August 2018 was first published on A Leap Of Faith

It’s fun doing new things: TMI Tuesday 31st July 2018

New shoesNew things are exciting and scary. July has been a mixed bag for me, but it definitely feels like a very positive month. This last TMI Tuesday of July has given me the chance to reflect.

Tell it to us straight or sexy…

1. One thing that you will never do again?

I will never clean a dirty rolling-pin again.

2. Who knows you the best?

I would say either B or Cornish Chick. They are two of the worlds most wonderful women and I am so pleased they found their way onto my life. My first two give-and-take friendships too, a learning curve for all of us I believe.

3. Do you think a relationship should be 50/50 all the time?

No relationship can be 50/50 all of the time. Whether that is friends, family, play partners and lovers, needs fluctuate. Overall I think there should be a balance of give and take, or it stops being healthy, but as I have learnt with the two lovely ladies I mentioned above (and many more wonderful people) you can ask for love and support as well as give it.

4. When was your most recent act of kindness? Was it appreciated?

On saturday I was in a race (my first ever trail event). The water station was absent for some reason and I had gone prepared with a bottle of drink…just in case. There was a lady who was struggling so I let her have some of my drink. She was very grateful.

5. Are you a good friend? Why or why not?

I hope I am a good friend. I certainly try. Though this is very much an ongoing lesson for me as most of my adult life I wasn’t allowed to have friendships of my own choosing and the ones that were permitted were P’s friends first and foremost, so I was mainly isolated.

6. What is something that you tried really hard to like but just couldn’t?

PRAWNS!!!! These are very much a hard limit. The taste, the texture, the smell, the way they wriggle around in the bowl, they way they look. Definitely enjoy watching them in the sea and in rockpools, but as soon as they are for human consumption… This was particularly difficult when I was a manager of counters in a supermarket. The fish counter was my favourite one to cover, but whenever I had to serve prawns I’m sure I would turn a delightful shade of GREEN.

Bonus: How was your month of July? Did you do anything fun, interesting, new?

July has been a great month for trying new things. Starting the month with a broken cane and a sad goodbye I haven’t played this month. I was very excited to be asked to take part in an interview by Posy Churchgate for her weekly “share our shizzle.” The children and end of term stuff has kept me busy, which is no surprise. I was able to start taking my boys climbing, but as I went to look round the climbing place and the owner asked if I would be joining them I heard Ps words slip out of my mouth “I’m not strong enough for climbing…”. Instantly I stopped myself and finished the sentence “…so I’ll give it a go!” This alone shows how far I have come in my confidence, and after almost 18 months of counselling I have decided to call it a day. My counsellor told me that my enthusiasm for life is infectious. And then I have completed my first trail event, and as I went along alone I had the pleasure of meeting a number of new people over a cup of tea afterwards. Of course coffee and cake were required after that…so I headed for the nearest town and found a new coffee shop. There have been so many new things this month, from shoes to toys, through to new events and experiences.

This is something I love about my new life.

I have the determination to experience new things, the confidence to get out on my own and some wonderful friends to tell all about it afterwards.

New coffee shop

TMI Tuesday blog

 

It’s fun doing new things: TMI Tuesday 31st July 2018 was originally posted on A leap of faith.

Our first and last love is self-love: TMI Tuesday 24th July 2018

tmi_hardlife

Self-love is a topic that pops up time and again.

TMI Tuesday is one of my go-to weekly memes for the topics that come up. This week is no exception and has raised some interesting questions and some even more surprising answers.

1. What do you need to learn but won’t admit to?

I like to think that if I was aware of something I needed to learn I would admit to it and get started. There are a number of things I am working on at the moment, and other things that I would like to learn but now is not the time.

2. If you could erase one event from your life, which one would you choose? Briefly describe the event, tell us why you would erase it.

I can honestly say that I wouldn’t change anything. Life hasn’t always been easy but over the last few years I have come to like myself as the awesome woman who I am. As a believer in the butterfly effect, I wouldn’t want to risk missing out on the me that I am today.

3. Who drains your energy, and why do you let it happen?

My children are amazing, and I adore them and their mischief. They have been known to sap my energy though, when they are being particularly challenging. I let this happen because they are ten and four, and they are still learning. Patience when they are awake and tears when they go to bed. The consequences for them on exhibiting this behaviour with the other half of their parenting team don’t bear thinking about.

4. Do you practice ‘self-love’ or ‘self-loathing’?

I have replaced the active self loathing with self acceptance. I think the self-love is an extension of that. If I don’t like something I change it. Unless you mean self-love of the sexual kind, in which case I’m all over that!

5. What must you do daily to keep yourself ‘sane’?

I need to get outside into the fresh air. That can mean anything from a day spent out on the moor, or a cuppa in the garden if I’m ill.

Bonus:  Who do you blame?

I blame:

  •  myself for my incessant curiosity…
  • Sir for my confidence…
  • the wonderful Angel666 over at SKorpion Rope for my first self tie…
  • my friend C for my burgeoning interest in latex…
  • CornishChick for unleashing my giggling sadist when she handed me a flogger after I tied up her play partner…

There is so much more for me to share for the journey of How I became the woman I am today, which is, after all, the purpose of the blog.

dsc_04086357418949618121154.jpg
Self-love… my style

See what everyone else is up to:

TMI Tuesday blog

 

Happiness – Inside my head.

 

the-inside-my-head-tag

I spotted this at the beginning of May, and planned to join in straight away but now seems like the right time to share the happiness “Inside My Head”.

The ‘Inside My Head’ tag comes from  the discovering your happiness blog Thank you Ashleyleia for your post and open invitation to join in.

Rules:

  • Thank & tag the person that has tagged you
  • Attach the tag photo
  • Answers the ‘This or THAT questions
  • Tag a 10-20 friends.

Here are the questions:

  • How do I feel at the moment?

I am feeling bright and excited.

  • What do I need?.

An extra 5 hours in a day

  • What would make me happy right now?

I would like to be able to understand my son. He lives in his own magic world and sometimes I find things are lost in translation.

  • What is going right in my life?

A lot of things are going right at the moment. I’m getting the support I need for my son, not just from the school but healthcare professionals as well. The steps I am taking steps finding the right home for my little family seem to be in the right direction. I discovered today that I have passed my module and so I am one year closer to achieving my study aspirations.

  • What am I most grateful for? List 10 things.
  1. My children.
  2. My home.
  3. An ability to learn.
  4. My wonderful friends.
  5. Sir and his ongoing tasks.
  6. My confidence.
  7. My desire to keep going…
  8. The weather. Whatever it is I love it.
  9. Dartmoor.
  10. The sea.
  • When did I experience joy this week?

When I collected my boys after their weekend away. Those hugs are always full of joy.

  • List a small victory/success?

I took my boys to a bouldering gym today. I had originally thought I would sit and watch them doing their thing in the kids club because I don’t have the strength to climb. Well, I decided that I would give it a go. The old me who had no confidence would have stopped there but…. Not the new me. And I surprised myself, hugely!

  • What is bothering me & why?

I am very lucky to have a wonderful group of close friends, and a fantastic set of friends who are less close but no less important. It is the people who sit on the edges and pretend to be friendly but are in fact unpleasant to be around. That is what bothers me. And they bother me because I can’t do anything about them. I don’t bitch or moan or gossip, but they do. I have always been a fan of the saying Keep your side of the street clean. It has got me through a lot of moments where I wanted to air my dirty laundry. But, grrrrrr…..it is so frustrating!

  •  What are my priorities at the moment?

My number one priority is to keep my children safe and well. This includes finding a home which is right rather than a home which is just almost there. Continuing with my study and ongoing tasks rank right up there as well.

  • What do I love about my self?

I love the way that I am soft edges and yet firm in my approach. I am honest, caring and loving, but I don’t suffer fools gladly. Tenacity and a competitive spirit, which means I will keep going until I figure it out (whatever it is) to the best of my ability. I love that I am always learning, and this is such an important skill for me in all areas of my life. Also my eyes. I love my eyes.

  • Who means the world to me & why?

My children, because there is no-one else who would be able to drive me to distraction and yet give me a squidgy cuddle and the whole troubling situation is set to rights! I love them unconditionally.

I have 7 people in my most close group. They are who I call my 3am friends. Have you ever had one of those nights where the darkness is all-consuming? Since having these friends I have never needed to make that call, but I know they are there, as I am for them. This isn’t the only reason I love each and every one of them, but they know I adore them.

Sir… Sir has given me so much. For such a long time he was the candle that illuminated my world, even when he wasn’t in contact. Now he has given me the candle and I can light my own world while he is unable to do that for me. I look forward to the time I can hand it back to him. Not because I am unable to hold it for myself, but because I love the way that I can brighten his world better with both hands free.

  • If I could share one message with the world, what would it be?

Honesty is the best policy.

  • What advice would I give to my younger self?

Trust your intuition.

  • What lesson did I learn this week?.

If you don’t try you won’t know if you can. If you do try you may surprise yourself!

  • If I had all the time in the world, what would I do first?

Go for a swim in the sea.

  • Whats draining my energy?

Running over 20 miles a week and not fuelling up properly.

  • What does my ideal morning look like?

Ahhh, the boys would get ready to go when they are asked. And I would not have to stand on my doorstep waiting for them rather than losing my temper.

  • What does my ideal day look like?

Fresh air, open spaces and smiling children (just mine, my ideal day does not include looking after other people’s children!) It is likely there would be a picnic too, one that the boys helped me to make. Then two tired boys in bed on time so I can relax with some smut.

  • What makes me come alive?

Swimming in the cold sea, or spending time in wide open spaces.

  • What/who inspires me the most?

My children, Sir and the woman I used-to-be all inspire me to be the best I can be.

  • Where does my pain originate?

This post gives you a good idea of where things started.

  • What are my strengths?

I am tenacious, strong-willed and loyal.

  • What is something I’ve always wanted but too scared to get?

The fear of not being good enough has stopped me from training for and entering a marathon and triathlon. I have a plan for the marathon, and this is tied up with a task. And I have plans afoot for tri training once I am safely through the marathon.

  • What is something I would love to learn?

Danish.

  • Where would I want to live my ideal life?

I haven’t seen enough of the world to answer this one, but I know that I have never felt I have roots anywhere. Germany, Belgium, Holland and Denmark are all places that intrigue me, but that is just where I am wondering about recently.

  • Where would I like to travel in the next 5 years?

As above, I feel drawn to Germany, Holland, Belgium and Denmark. Really though, anywhere that I can find a cheap flight and accommodation which fits in with my children.

  • What can I do to take better care of myself?

I can get more sleep. I would also like to eat better.

  • What hobbies would I like to try?

Triathlon, boxing, wing walking (is that really a hobby?)

  • When have I done something that I thought I couldn’t do?

Most recently I completed two climbs at the bouldering gym, but before I went along I was convinced that I wouldn’t be able to complete half of the easiest one. Over the last 4 years my world has been made up of achieving things I didn’t believe I could do. It is amazing what you can achieve when you have the right mindset, or the right person to teach you how to sail through the fog.

  • At the end of my life, what do I want my legacy to be?

I want people to see me as someone who had a lot of love to give out. That I was a tenacious achiever who began life as a starter and flourished as a completer. Also that I was a kind person who raised wonderful children and inspired them to be the best they can be.

Here are my nominations:

Fetcetera

Be gentle with you

The Secret Aspie

Curious Clitty

From The Desk of G. Cougar Burt

Exposing 40

A little sass.

A Barbarian in Gentlemen’s Clothing

Success Inspirers World

Revenge Of Eve

Tiarra Talks

Happy view
A wonderful view taken for and sent to a very special person on the other side of the world last night. This view makes me feel alive and free!

Happiness – Inside My Head was first posted on A Leap Of Faith.

Marvellously TMI Tuesday: 10th July 2018.

_20180710_1043271206084229369680510.jpg
3. My heart skipped a beat yesterday

It is that time of the week where the TMI Tuesday questions are calling to be answered, so here I go…

1. What is the most marvelous thing you have ever seen?

Four years ago my youngest son was very unwell, at one point we didn’t think he would make it home. Not six hours after his lowest point his big brother turned up to visit him in hospital. The sick little toddler in his hospital crib immediately stood up and started babbling away to his superhero. The love that those two have for each other is phenomenal, and is the most marvellous thing I have ever seen.

2. Are you a starter or a finisher?

I would always have considered myself a starter. I get so many great ideas that I get started with, but often seemed to lose focus. Tasks from Sir have changed this, I have become a consummate finisher. Tenacious in my desire to finish what I start. He has given me the gift of focus.

3. When did your heart last ‘skip a beat’? Why?

Yesterday I was on Dartmoor for a quick run, and I stopped to bag a tor. Once I had put myself away again I looked around and the view from my position took my breath away. I wish my photographic skills could show you just how wonderful the view was. Vast open spaces regularly make my heart ‘skip a beat’.

4. What does your perfect day look like?

I have so many options for this, but some quiet time in a wide open space, happy children, great food and wonderful company would all be high up there. A spanking?? Oh, yes please! And some contact from Sir before I go to sleep.

5. What would you call your autobiography?

A million little leaps.

Maybe…

Ideas on a postcard please.

Bonus:  How does it feel to be photographed?

Four years ago this was incredibly hard. There are very few pictures of me before then. 15 years ago I told my wedding guests off for constantly wanting to take my photo, and the emotional abuse that I endured with P the desire to be captured on camera only decreased. With the arrival of Sir in my life came tasks that encouraged me to be more comfortable in my own body, including sharing my pictures with him. Since then I have discovered I can take an ok selfie, and even had a risky shoot with a local photographer. Still not too comfortable in front of the camera with my clothes on, but I guess that is the problem with being confident in my own skin?

Train tracks
On the train tracks with Urbstract Photography.
Come and have a look at what others are saying:
TMI Tuesday blog
Scavenger-Hunt-Bronze

 

TMI Tuesday: 19th June 2018

woman carrying baby at beach during sunset
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

1. What was your biggest worry five years ago, do you still have that same worry or feel the same about it at this minute?

Five years ago I was heavily pregnant with a child I was terrified I wouldn’t be able to love or care for. My first birth was followed by 3 years of not liking my son, and this surprise pregnancy brought back a lot of those feelings of inadequacy and fear. Add onto that P had decided we were going to find out the sex of the baby, and upon discovering we were having another boy repeatedly made the points that he had a wanted a girl, he was deeply unhappy that I was growing a boy and I probably should have had that abortion he had suggested at the start of the pregnancy. (He is a real charmer)

Five years later and my fears have been proven unfounded. I didn’t experience postnatal depression second time round, and though there have been very challenging times I have removed the highly toxic P from my life (as much as possible) and found a strength of character which is proving to be more than good enough for raising two lovely little boys.

2. Do you have a positive or negative body image? What factors contribute to your self body image?
a. advertisements
b. media and social media
c. comments from others
d. introspection and analysis of self

I finally believe I have a positive body image. I see my body for what it is, and I am proud of what my body can do. Over the last five years I have gone from loathing my body to being fairly ambivalent about it. Just in the last year (from my heaviest last October to a healthier weight now) I have come to really appreciate certain parts. My breasts were the last part, with everyone else having the perfect shape or size and mine being, well, different. Following tasks from an exasperated Sir, and some great photos I have realised that when I say “all breasts are beautiful” that can include mine too. So much so that I even got fitted for a bra two weeks ago! Got to love Sir’s tasks and a spot of self-counselling.

Sadly, no amount of people telling me they like my breast, bum eyes or [insert preferred body part] has helped me in this journey. I have friends and lovers who enjoy my body, and sir has always been appreciative. But he has set tasks so that I can accept myself in my own time. And as my confidence has grown in my body so has my appreciation of it, and my willingness to look after it.

I have been a bit frustrated at the media and certain apps, one called My perfect body which allows you to shape and mould your photos to create the “perfect” shape. It makes me worry for the next generation. I may have downloaded it and had a go…

3. How confident are you as a person?
a. no confidence at all
b. confident around friends and family
c. confident at work, and in my job
d. very confident in my surroundings–work, social settings, with strangers

I have a quiet confidence which I find useful in most situations. From meeting strangers, to public speaking and with people who I know well. Strangely it is the people I know a little but not well who I feel shy around. Perhaps with strangers I can have the walls up, and those I’m close to have already found the secret hiding place for my spare door key. Those in the middle ground are, perhaps, more risky? Who knows…

4. How creative a person are you? Why?
a. not creative
b. average creativity
c. creative in some situations
d. very creative

When it comes to food I am very creative, particularly with store cupboard staples. Otherwise I rely on reflection or academia (writing) and patterns or pictures to copy (drawing and crafty things) I’m happy with my level of creativity.

5. Do you resent things being uncertain and unpredictable? Why?
a. agree
b. undecided or Don’t Know
c. disagree

I can find uncertainty challenging, but resent predictability.

Bonus: What do you wish you had invented?

LEGO TAPE!!!!!

Click the link to see what other people have to say:

TMI Tuesday blog

 

TMI Tuesday: 12th June 2018

Ice-Cream-Maker-Luxury-Vanilla-Ice-Cream (2)

1. If you were an ice-cream flavor, what would you be and why?

I would be lemon meringue. I may present as vanilla, but I am far from it, and that is a wonderful surprise. When you first take the lid off the tub it looks very  ordinary, but take a scoop and you start to see the swirls of lemon. Taste me, those yellow streaks are a little bit tart alongside the smooth creamy ice-cream. And then there is the hidden texture of meringue.

2. What are the best sexy skills you bring to a sexual relationship?

I am adventurous, unshockable and love to push myself to try new things and perfect old things.

3. What is the single largest problem causing you angst in your romantic relationship (current or most recent relationship)?

I don’t know that there is angst in my life at the moment. I guess I have to say the tasks I am set where I have to decide what to do “to please him” make me feel most anxious.

4. What is the best part about being in a relationship with you?

ME!

5. What is the biggest misconception that people have about you?

Still waters run deep with me, and the vanilla mask that is visible to the world is not the real me. I am usually seen as sweet and innocent, even among the local kink community. But once people become trusted they see that I am very much the opposite. One friend has just fallen off her chair at the thought of how family see me… but she has been on the receiving end of my sadistic giggle.

I have just been reminded that people sometimes see me as weak. Until recently I believed that too, and yet it couldn’t be further from the truth. Again, still waters run deep, and that strength isn’t on display for all to see, but it is there!

Bonus:  When you look at old photos of yourself, do you like what you see?

I enjoy looking at me through the times of my life. Some pictures I enjoy more than others, but I love reflecting on my life and pictures help with that. When I look at these pictures (below) what is not to like?

 

TMI Tuesday blog

 

TMI Tuesday: 5th June 2018

black and white forest grass monochrome
Photo by David Bartus on Pexels.com

What kind of person are you?

1. Are you addicted to any social media (twitter, instagram, snapchat, etc.)?

I have accounts on a lot of social media sites, but I find it hard to keep up with everything so I just dip in and out.

2. You know a secret about someone. What do you do with that information?
a. I keep it to yourself
b. I tell my best friend
c. I wait until they hurt me and use it as ammunition
d. I tell everyone I can, I don’t mean to, I just cannot keep a secret

I keep it to myself. I love knowing things that other people don’t know. If it isn’t my secret to share and I tell people then the trust is broken and no-one will tell me secrets again!

3. You see someone breaking the rules at work, what do you do?
a. Pretend not to see what is going on
b. Inform upper management
c. Advise the co-worker that their actions are frowned upon and can lead to job loss
d. Tell everyone else in the office what you saw

I would firstly talk to them and show them the correct way of doing things, just in case they don’t know what the correct procedure is. If that isn’t successful then I would talk to my line manager.

4. A friend has a new hairstyle that is un-becoming, and not really age-appropriate on them. They ask you how they look. What is your reply?
a. You look just fine.
b. You look much better this way.
c. OMG, you look a bit ridiculous.
d. *Silence*

I am known for being direct. Honesty is the best policy and all that. However, I have learnt a little tact over the last few years and none of these responses fits with what I would say. The Shit Sandwich is a tried and tested way for me to tell people they look awful while not making them feel bad about themself.

5. How helpful are you at home? 
a. I come home and immediately veg out on the couch/bed.
b. I cook and clean a few times a week.
c. I am extremely helpful.
d. I do what I am asked and nothing more.

As the only adult if I don’t do it then it doesn’t get done.

Bonus: In your opinion, what is the best city in the world? Why?

I am not nearly well travelled enough to answer this question with a well considered answer, but I love Germany and have a strong desire to disappear in the Black Forest so I think Stuttgart would be a great start.

I love Bruges too.

And Berlin.

And Durban.

And Pattaya

And….

No, it’s just not happening, I need to go and see the world.

Click below to see what other people are up to.

TMI Tuesday blog

 

TMI Tuesday: 29th May 2018

night building forest trees
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

1. If your lover was turned on by forced feminization would you participate (giving or receiving)? 

No, it’s something that would be a big turn off for me and if he was solely monogamous and needed the forced feminization it would be a deal breaker for me. However, I would happily support him in finding a lover that he could fulfill that fantasy with.

2. When you have sexual dreams or fantasies that are aggressive or cruel, does it worry you? 

No, not at all. I have been on the receiving end of cruel and aggressive behaviours, and if I fantasized about reliving them I would be concerned, but the fantasies I have which are along a similar line are most definitely not the same… If anything they are darker! But the mind is a funny thing. And as long as I am not harming anyone, including myself, then there is no problem.

3. Tell us your hottest, sexiest fantasy, right now, in 100 words or less. 
This is the fantasy about your desires that you probably never share, maybe they even go against your morals or are societal taboos.

Being bound, naked, to the ceiling above a party, with a bell in hand and a straw in my mouth. Over the evening I am made to drink a lot, and when I need to pee I ring the bell. People can move out of the way or be put underneath me by their owners. I would be being whipped sporadically by Sir, across my breasts.

4. Which super hero would you like to have sex with? Why?
a. Aquaman
b. Superman
c. Wonder Woman
d. She-Ra

I’m not knowledgeable on superheroes, but I had at least heard of three of them. So a google search later introduced me to Aquaman. The pictures which are up for the upcoming film show a man with a naked torso standing in the water. Research done! I choose Aquaman, after getting rid of the beard…. Still none the wiser about him, but it’s ok to be fickle sometimes.

aquaman-release-date-uk-aquaman-in-cinema-jason-momoa-966392

5. Do you think the lure to live out sexual fantasies or have sex frequently is amplified by technology? Briefly explain. The desire to meet new people for sex and live out my fantasies has not been amplified by technology. The ease with which I can arrange meets has changed since I have come to understand how different sites works though; as a woman on any of the sites associated with quick and easy hook ups you get bombarded with offers. I also think that these sites are a lure for men who just want to sit behind their screens and wank but have no intention of meeting. It seems to be a common frustration among friends.

Bonus: Describe your fantasy life in three (3) words.

Honest.

Fulfilling.

Secure.

TMI Tuesday blog

 

TMI Tuesday: 8th May 2018

pexels-photo-241544.jpeg

I have decided to take part in TMI Tuesday for the first time this week. I always enjoy other people’s answers so felt it was time to join in myself.

1. What makes you, you? I am authentically me, I am brave to the point of being foolish, and I am fiercely loyal to those who deserve it. I am curious, independent and bloody minded. I am kind, thoughtful and complex. I am a confident introvert who finds people endlessly fascinating. Still waters run deep, and the calm exterior that people see hides a deep-seated vulnerability.

2. Do you care more about doing the right thing or doing things right? Oh, this is a tough one… if something is worth doing it is worth doing right, but if I am not doing the right thing in the first place then no amount of doing it right is going to make it better. So, doing the right thing in the first place is what I care most about.
3. What is sexual freedom? Do you have it? Sexual freedom is having the mental freedom to fulfill your sexual needs without worrying what other people think. Discretion where it is needed, and making sure that no-one comes to any harm are important in my sexual freedom, but yes… I believe I do have sexual freedom.
4. In your romantic relationships, is trust more important than love? I think love and trust go hand in hand when it comes to any relationship on the spectrum, from friendship through romance to D/s. I can trust people I don’t love (professional relationships for example) but I can’t love without trust.
5. Your life, is it more of a dream or a nightmare? My life is definitely a dream. Not always the best dream, but with all of the good things to think about I couldn’t ever call it a nightmare. It has never been more than I could manage, I’ve never woken up screaming!

Bonus:  What is the last romantic thing you did for someone?

Oh NO! I am not a traditionally romantic person at all… I imagine that it was my most recent self-assigned stretching task for Sir: stuffing myself with as many wooden spoons as I could find (and a rolling pin) and sending him a picture. Who says romance is dead??

 

If you fancy joining in here is the link to TMI Tuesday.

pexels-photo-866287.jpeg

The Mystery Blogger Award

mystery blogger award.png

Thank you to Curious Clitty and Lady Clio for nominating me for the Mystery Blogger Award, created by Okoto Enigma to highlight amazing blogs which have yet to be discovered. 

Here are the rules!

• Put the award logo/image on your blog.

• List the rules.

• Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.

• Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well.

• Tell your readers 3 things about yourself. (Two nominations so I have doubled up!)

• Answer the questions you were asked. (ten in total, grab a cup of tea!)

• You have to nominate 10 people.

• Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.

• Ask your nominees any five questions of your choice, with one weird or funny question.

• Provide a link to your favourite post.

So, six things about me:

  1. One of the many things I have discovered over the last 3 years is that I am an introvert. I always thought I was socially inept, but actually I’m not. I love people, they are endlessly fascinating! INFJ is my “official” Myers-Briggs personality test result, and, although I tend to take these things with  pinch of salt, I can see how well I fit into that box.
  2. Speaking of boxes, I am hesitant to get stuck in one. Labels are a source of frustration for me. In the kink community I am known as The Barefoot Sub, but there is so much more to me. Yes, I do identify as submissive and with Sir I have no other way, but I also have so many other interests (keep following my blog, all will be revealed) so I skip merrily from box to box, and the only label I am comfortable wearing is Me
  3. I am a believer in the saying “You never know how strong you are until you need to be” There are things that nobody should ever have to go through. I have been through some bad times, but I have found there is a huge well of strength which I have been making use of. Finding the strength to not be angry anymore was a surprise. Discovering that I am strong enough to not need external validation… Mind Blowing! 
  4. I am a dog person. If I could commit the time I would have an Irish Wolfhound, a Great Dane, or a Lurcher. 
  5. My favourite season is autumn. Partly due to the changing colours and the cool but not cold temperatures, but mostly because I love stormy weather and jumping in puddles is the most fun I can have with my children.
  6. If I was a flavour of ice cream I would be Lemon Meringue, because I look vanilla but when you start looking closer I have many different textures and layers, and I’m a little bit of a tart!

Here are Curious Clitty’s questions, and my answers

1. What is your first ever memory?

My first memory is of being at the swimming pool with my mum and brother. We were all together in the shallow end until I climbed out while mum was distracted for a moment.  Freedom!! I started wandering up towards the deep end. I can still remember the black and white tiles under my little feet as I made my way up with my arm bands on. When I got there I jumped in… absolutely no fear! Sadly that is where the memory ends, but I’m still here so it can’t have been too awful.

2. What is the first book you remember reading as a child?

I remember reading Dogger by Shirley Hughes It was the book that I wanted to borrow from the library over and over again. When I had worn it out, and the library were getting rid of it, my mum bought it for me (for 10p) and I still have that much-loved hardback book in my dwindling collection of sentimental keepsakes.

3. What is the first album you ever owned?

I saved all of my money and bought a CD player just before Christmas when I turned 14. The two albums that I was given for Christmas were The Ultimate Disney Collection and Michelle Gayle’s self titled album.

4. If you could choose to go back in time when would you choose to go back to and why?

I have a recurring back injury which was initially sustained while out wakeboarding. The last time I had an awful flare up a friend recommended I see an osteopath. I didn’t for about 3 months, and I struggled on. When I finally gave in to the advice it was a revelation! I haven’t had a flare up for 2 years now. If I could go back in time it would be to the time I was given the advice, and I would take it.

5. If you were a perfume/cologne which one would you be?

I’m almost embarrassed to say, but… Joop pour Homme

Here are Lady Clio’s questions, and my answers.

1. What was the best piece of advice you ever received?

Something my dad always used to say “You can’t live your life backwards.” It set me up for a life of no regrets, just constant learning.

2. If money was not an object, what building would you restore and why?

I wouldn’t buy a building, I would go for a vintage double-decker bus and kit it out for luxury travel, then I would take my boys on adventures around the world. (Also, I love the idea of a mobile dungeon!)

3. What do you do to relax and unwind?

I go for a run or a long walk on the moors. I will often take my rope too, and do a quick  self tie on top of a tor. 

4. How do you show love to someone?

I give people my time and I feed them. I also give them the space to be them, and I show them my soft underbelly. Not many people have seen me cry, and if you have then it is a sure sign that I love you and trust you enough to be that vulnerable with you.

5. How old were you when you first started your blog?

I was 35. I started my blog two months ago now. 

Here are my five questions:

  1. What is your most embarrassing memory?
  2. What flavour ice cream would you be, and why?
  3. What are your top five favourite books?
  4. What would you have for your last meal? No restrictions, go wild!
  5. Where would you go for your next holiday, and what would you do? As with question 4, no restrictions!

And my nominations are:

Unoriginal (love) notes

Verse In Emotion

hotlilmess

An Accidental Anarchist

Building The Love Shack

The Indecisive Writer

Dominance in Progress

junk4joy

deviant wench

Heart and Soul

I look forward to reading your answers.

This is my favourite post to date.

nature-milky-way-stars-galaxy-594375.jpeg

Proudly powered by WordPress | Theme: Baskerville 2 by Anders Noren.

Up ↑