Health, wealth and happiness placed in vintage style lettering over some purple pansy flowers and leaves.

Health, Wealth And Happiness For TMI Tuesday

Health, wealth and happiness placed in vintage style lettering over some purple pansy flowers and leaves.

For the first TMI Tuesday of 2022 the questions focus on health, wealth and happiness. Two of these regularly make it into my thoughts and the other. Well… let’s just say I was fascinated by the question so thought I’d stop on by and share my thoughts in my first Q&A session of the year.

1. Do you feel that happiness is luck or is it a practiced mindset?

I don’t necessarily think it is either. I never planned to struggle with depression for many years. Nor did I decide that I was going to be happy and practise it. But I do think that I’d been taking steps to curate a life that includes great happiness, when my mental health improved to the point I was ready to acknowledge and receive it, the wealth of joy felt, at times, overwhelming. I don’t however, believe happiness is a goal. Being able to feel all of my emotions, and live authentically on the roller coaster that is life, that is where I feel most content. Happiness as a permanent state would feel, for me, contrived, fake.

2. If you could transport to the happiest place in the world where would you be?

Have you ever heard of the World Happiness report? It uses a range of metrics including health and wealth to measure the happiness of nations. The 2021 report has Finland in top spot, followed by Denmark in second. The latter is high up on my list of places to visit with my boys. The rest of the top 7 are all Europe, and while I want to travel everywhere, none of these match to my stereotype of happy! There is a country which received a special mention, because it wasn’t assessed within the time-frame. Now Bhutan is a country that I associate with hardships, yes. But also bright colours, innocence and joy. Much like my rollercoaster. Plus, if I’m going to be transported anywhere (free of charge) I’m going to go for the furthest away option on the happy list!

3. In 2022, what will you do to improve your health?

This Saturday I was due to be running 43 miles along the Thames and into Little Venice. 6 weeks ago I caught covid. This week I am just starting to feel like I make sense again. My thinking is becoming less laboured. However, physically I am stuffed. I’ve gone from enjoying a full and active training week to, quite literally, blowing out my backside when I walk slowly up my stairs. Twitter tells me I’m far from alone with my commitment to joining in with Move, by Yoga With Adriene. While I’ve been finding my current levels of fitness amusing I wish to begin the road to health gently, practise kindness and rein in my expectations.

I know my health will improve, my body is on its road to recovery, I just have to practise patience. Fortunately Sir has demonstrated this well with me, and I’m in a better position than I could be because I know that my body is wrecked. I do find myself wondering if the goal race of 2022 will still be a GO, or if that will need postponing, but babysteps will get me there, even if I do have to wait until 2023 to jump back in. Who knows, maybe by then I’ll be ready to skip forward a few years and do the 100miler instead!

4. What is your money psychology?

  • A. Money worshipper: Those who associate money with security, but in a kind of arbitrary way. The danger is no amount of money is ever enough.
  • B. Money avoidance: When you tend to think of money as bad, corrupting or just something you do not deserve. This can manifest in many ways, such as, not trying to negotiate a raise at work or avoiding looking at your retirement account.
  • C. Money vigilance: These people seem really great with their money, but there is a lot of anxiety around actually using it. This type can be great savers but rarely treat themselves
  • D. Money status: People with this mind-set see money as a way to feel good about themselves and appear a certain way to others. These folks tend to run up credit card debt, pick up tabs they cannot afford and otherwise mismanage their money — while judging others who do not have the same status symbols.

I mentioned at the start of the post that one question fascinated me. That was this one!

Money isn’t really something that features for me. I have enough to live on now, so am not constantly worried about making ends meet. But have no worries about keeping up with the Jones’s. None of the answers made sense for me, and so I wanted to dig a little deeper. I turned to google and found a quiz. You know, one of those quizzes with multiple choice questions where the answers all make you curl your lip?

It turns out I’m an idealist. Actually, that does figure for me. I’m fully aware that money is needed to make the world go around, but don’t get too stressed out about it. I value time and connection over money, and prefer to just live my best life with my best people. While my mental health, happiness and relative wealth have all improved, that isn’t to say I don’t enjoy the challenge of living frugally, and taking all of the things I’ve learnt from my time in a financially controlled marriage to mean I can have a little left over for rainy days.

Bonus: Do you have any goals for your blog in 2022?

Going into last year I had a huge list of goals for my blog, and writing in general. It wasn’t just a long list, they were big tasks too. Needless to say I couldn’t achieve them all… I have, however, made huge progress.

My Domain Authority has increased from low single numbers to 20+. This is an ongoing task, I wished to have it all done by the end of 2021 but doing to much at once makes google sad and cross so I have slowed down. Considerably! It will be done when it’s done. By which time I’ll be starting again!

I had planned to get the first draft of my book completed too. And while I’ve probably written the right number of words I have also deleted them. I’m not sure why I’m struggling so hard with it, though I think it is fear. Fear of it not being good enough, or fear of it being a success- whatever that may mean. I couldn’t tell you the answer. All I know is anxiety is paralysing when it comes to reading back my words. However, I have a new goal in mind, to take babysteps, creeping up on the full manuscript.

I will be working towards this smaller outcome while I continue with the blog.

Which can only mean I have a plan for this site. I want to post less. I mean, less is more, right? But I know that you enjoy my posts as much as I enjoy writing them so, following on from my top ten lists post here is what I hope to achieve this year:

  • I have a monthly interview series in production, small kink-related businesses that have touched my world and that I wish to share with you all.
  • February Photo Fest, again.
  • Regular Scavenger Hunt posts.
  • Continuing with the story behind the blog, more of my deviant memories.
  • Participating in memes. Not just sharing for them, but making more time to read everyone else’s posts. There are so many wonderful memes, and even more amazing bloggers. I’m sad that life overtook me this year and I didn’t comment as much as I would have liked. (Lurking is ok but much more fun to join in the conversation!)

This is the list I have, and the list I am going to hold myself accountable for. I look forward to reviewing my progress at regular intervals.

TMI Tuesday blog
Wicked Wednesday

 

Health, Wealth and Happiness for TMI Tuesday is my first offering for the meme in 2022. My first TMI Tuesday for 2021 was an interesting post for me to look back on, a really fun memory made the header particularly joyful.

11 comments

  1. I agree that happiness should not be a goal. I usually shoot more for working toward states of being that produce a feeling of contentment or satisfaction. Or I work on perception of situations, knowing that I am in control of how I choose to view my circumstances. As someone who also periodically deals with depression, and continually deals with anxiety and stress, i get that happiness just isn’t always possible, no matter what I do.

    Wow! 43 miles? Impressive!! The most I have attempted is 13.1, and even then I could only run about half of that and walked the rest. Good luck to you on this journey.

    And I hear you on the writing front. Less IS more. I tried to simplify my goals for this year, knowing that I will still likely not fully keep up with them. But having the goals keeps me on track better than not having them, so…

    And reading and commenting on others’ blogs and writing for memes is always on my list. I do better with this during some times of the year than others. But it is always my intention to connect more.

    1. I’ve come to sppreciate the light and the dark. You can’t have one without the other, right? I enjoy observing the world around me, and inside of me.

      I run trails when I run long-long. So it’s effectively a series of picnics with a spot of running and some beautiful views in between. A half marathon is a hard distance. They don’t normally have all the picnics for a start!

      I’m glad it’s not just me who has an ebb and flow with memes.

      I love the new structure of your site, it makes so much sense. I would love to change mine significantly, but I need to hash out some ideas the old one fashioned way before I get stuck in. But you’ve inspired me to get the sketch book out

  2. I really like your outlook on life, N. This sentence made me smile and nod: “Being able to feel all of my emotions, and live authentically on the roller coaster that is life, that is where I feel most content”

    As for posting less… that is something I started doing somewhere in 2021, and it feels good. I don’t feel the pressure anymore that I have to post every day. A pressure only I put on myself.

    Regarding your domain authority… maybe there’s a post for Blogable in there, to share how you have achieved upping your number? 😉

    Thank you for always sharing your wisdom, and Happy New Year to you!
    ~ Marie xox

    1. I just get excited and write, and post and write and post and… actually, I could build a stockpile of posts and work on other projects. Like the book, and guest posts about Domain Authority perhaps. 🤭

      Happy new year to you too Marie. N xx

  3. Great and really positive post N. Sometimes less really is more. I hope you get your strength and fitness back soon. I’ve never been a runner, didn’t like it at school and haven’t since. But I do enjoy walking and other forms of exercise. I’m also doing the yoga. Hopefully this year will be a great one for you.

    One question what is domain authority?

    1. It will come in time, patience is all I need really. And I’ve got lots of chance to practise that!

      Lordy, technical question! Domain authority is scored from 0-100 the higher your domain scores the more authority Google thinks you have in your field. YouTube, I believe, is 100. If you’re brand new and the Google bots haven’t had a chance to find you, you’ll be unscored, and then slowly build from there. There are lots of metrics which go into building this, and it changes regularly. I describe it as painting the forth bridge. You’ll never be “done”

  4. I like that overall you realize you should take babysteps to achieve your goals– getting back to running, improving your health, writing manuscript, and changes for your blog. Seems less stressful, which allows for more happiness. Thank you for your indepth sharing.

    Wishing you well.

    P.S. Thls year I did not commit to joining Adriene and Benji but I read the newsletters 😁

    1. The newsletters… I really must read them! Perhaps I’ll do that for my goal next year?

      I used to be a “need to have it all done now and perfect and *gahhh*” but I’ve mellowed a little over time and grown more patient with myself. N

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