This week I’m joining in with TMI Tuesday where the questions are around the hearts and flowers side of relationships. Romance, sex and marriage.
1. What are your romantic needs?
My romantic needs are minimal in all honesty, I’m not a fan of the hearts and flowers of what society dictates as true romance. For the most part I get what could be seen as traditional romance from my friends. I miss having someone to cook with, but I have wonderful friends who will happily come round for dinner. Often they will cook with me. Having someone to confide in, to share my joys and sadness. Again, my friends are wonderful for filling that void (if you can call it that?)
It could be made a little better if I had naked hugs in bed, and those confidences were in the form of pillow talk, chest hair tickling my nose while wrapped in strong arms. Companionable silences while each enjoying our own reading is something I miss. Conventional romance…. Flowers, if I want some I buy my own. Lingerie, again I buy my own. Chocolates, yes, you guessed it, I buy my own. (Actually, I buy myself nice cheeses instead of chocolates but you get my point)
2. What are your sexual needs?
Sexually I wax and wane with regards to my needs. I’m very skilled at managing my own physical requirements for orgasm, however what I am unable to replicate is the scent and touch of a man. I have friends who would happily be the man to stave off those cravings but I would rather wait until the dynamic is right for me too. My sexuality is mainly submissive, and with a man who can get inside my head the slut comes out to play, if that is what he also likes.
3. Do you agree that marriage was a pragmatic institution and in today’s society traditional marriage is not a need but merely a want?
For some people marriage is very much a need, a place of emotional security and a celebration of love between two families. The married couples tax allowance is also available for couples in a civil partnership, and with a maximum of £238 per year available you would be waiting a long time to recoup your wedding costs via this scheme. Apologies for my cynicism…. I celebrated my first Divorce-versary recently! Imagine my surprise when I realised marriage is something I would consider in the future. However, it would be choice rather than duty which would lead me to that outcome.
4. Do you find conflict in your romantic relationships exciting?
The definition of conflict is “a serious disagreement or argument”. I do not find this kind of relationship exciting, whether romantic or platonic. That isn’t to say I want to be in constant agreement with those around me, I like healthy debate and differing opinions. This leads to interesting and challenging conversations and often I learn something.
5. During sex are you focused on positions or the quality and connection with your lover?
Quality and connection! I’ve had lovers want to go through a whole list of positions, turning it into some form of prescribed porno. Often the best moves are the least attractive. Saying that there are certain positions that I love to be in, that really get me going. And there are some that flick the off switch. Having the connection means that the lines of communication are open, that those “off” spots can be discussed in advance and avoided, or, if the passion is burning high then those scenarios are short circuited. Either outcome is a win for me.
Bonus: Men, what do you have a hard time talking to your lover(s) about?
Ok, so I’m not a man but I’m going to break the rules a little… Getting my lovers to open up about their feelings is something I struggle with. Something I have learnt over recent months is that there is strength in showing your emotional vulnerability. People who love us can’t support us if we keep it locked away. Personally I think that sharing emotions is a really intimate thing, more so than sex, and while I value a strong Dominant man I like it when they let me into their dark. Trust,strength and soft edges.
Hearts and Flowers for TMI Tuesday is my latest addition to the TMI Tuesday section. However, it’s not the first time I’ve looked at this topic. Give Relationships for TMI Tuesday a read for more insight. Or maybe click the button above and join in yourself? I’d love to read your answers.
From the story of how the barefoot sub became the woman she is today, to toy reviews, with a hefty dose of contemplation, a sprinkling of erotica and a LOT of nudity in between, you can be sure to find something to tickle your fancy at A Leap Of Faith.