Hearts and flowers for TMI Tuesday

Photo Credit: Dark Lion Photography

1. What are your romantic needs?

My romantic needs are minimal in all honesty. For the most part I get what could be seen as traditional romance from my friends. I miss having someone to cook with, but I have wonderful friends who will happily come round for dinner. Having someone to confide in, to share my joys and sadness, my friends are wonderful for filling that void (if you can call it that?) It could be made a little better if I had naked hugs in bed, and those confidences were in the form of pillow talk, chest hair tickling my nose while wrapped in strong arms. Companionable silences while each enjoying our own reading is something I miss. Conventional romance…. Flowers, if I want some I buy my own. Lingerie, again I buy my own. Chocolates, yes, you guessed it, I buy my own. (Actually, I buy myself nice cheeses instead of chocolates but you get my point)

2. What are your sexual needs?

Sexually I wax and wane with regards to my needs. I’m very skilled at managing my own physical requirements for orgasm, however what I am unable to replicate is the scent and touch of a man. I have friends who would happily be the man to stave off those cravings but I would rather wait until the dynamic is right for me too. My sexuality is mainly submissive, and with a man who can get inside my head the slut comes out to play, if that is what he also likes.

3. Do you agree that marriage was a pragmatic institution and in today’s society traditional marriage is not a need but merely a want?

For some people marriage is very much a need, a place of emotional security and a celebration of love between two families. The married couples tax allowance is also available for couples in a civil partnership, and with a maximum of £238 per year available you would be waiting a long time to recoup your wedding costs via this scheme. Apologies for my cynicism…. Having just celebrated my first Divorce-versary you may be surprised to learn that I would consider marriage in the future, but it would be choice rather than necessity which would lead me to that outcome.

4. Do you find conflict in your romantic relationships exciting?

The definition of conflict is “a serious disagreement or argument”. I do not find this kind of relationship exciting, whether romantic or platonic. That isn’t to say I want to be in constant agreement with those around me, I like healthy debate and differing opinions. This leads to interesting and challenging conversations and often I learn something.

5. During sex are you focused on positions or the quality and connection with your lover?

Quality and connection! I’ve had lovers want to go through a whole list of positions, turning it into some form of prescribed porno. Often the best moves are the least attractive. Saying that there are certain positions that I love to be in, that really get me going. And there are some that flick the off switch. Having the connection means that the lines of communication are open, that those “off” spots can be discussed in advance and avoided, or, if the passion is burning high then those scenarios are short circuited. Either outcome is a win for me.

Bonus: Men, what do you have a hard time talking to your lover(s) about?

Ok, so I’m not a man but I’m going to break the rules a little… Getting my lovers to open up about their feelings is something I struggle with. Something I have learnt over recent months is that there is strength in showing your emotional vulnerability. People who love us can’t support us if we keep it locked away. Personally I think that sharing emotions is a really intimate thing, more so than sex, and while I value a strong Dominant man I like it when they let me into their dark. Trust,strength and soft edges.

February Photofest


TMI Tuesday blog

Happy anniversary!

My very special celebration drink. Thanks to Tony James Photography.

Today I am celebrating.

It is one year since my divorce was finalised. I’m very good at remembering important dates so realising this today was a very welcome surprise.

Life will never be without challenges, but every day seems to be sweeter now. Yes, even the rubbish ones!

So feel free to raise a glass and toast my freedom!

Fresh from the tap.
February Photofest


TMI Tuesday: 3rd July 2018

silhouette of man touching woman against sunset sky
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

1. Picture the child you once were, what did that child do very well?

When I was a little girl I always had a talent for pushing myself further than people expected me to. Second best was never an option, particularly against myself. Grit and determination. I lost that somewhere along the line.

2. What are you really good at now?

I’m now really good at problem solving. Forget thinking outside of the box, I no longer have a box! And I have rediscovered that ability to push myself further than people believe, and I know that anything is possible.

3. Did you ever expect love in return and not get it?

I have known men that I have thought I loved and that they loved me in return when, quite clearly they haven’t. It is only very recently that I have come to understand what love really is, and I have given that without expectation. I have seen this clip many times, but never really understood it.  Free, pure and unconditional. Is it returned? Actions always speak louder than words… I believe so. But in many ways it doesn’t matter if it is not reciprocated. I have enough self-love to be able to give some out without needing to hear those words.

4. Who do you need to get in touch with because it has been so long?

What funny timing??!! Today I have spoken with one of my favourite friends that I haven’t been in contact with since Christmas. And she is the last person who I need to “get in touch with because it has been too long.” I am so glad I sent her a message, she is going to help me with a task…

5. What are your thoughts on this: “Every woman deserves her special day. I get that. But does it really have to cost so much fucking money? I mean, c’mon. If you’re serious about building a future with a guy, why bankrupt him?”

Pfffft!!! I don’t understand why weddings cost so much in both finances and energy. My wedding cost £600, which is only £50 more than my divorce! Rough calculations…. 14.5 years of marriage = £1.54 per week for costs… In other words I have no idea why it costs so much money. No relationship is defined by ONE DAY, it is all about the picture you paint rather than the cost of the canvas you paint it on!

Bonus: What is your number one priority?

Right now my number one priority is building a happy life for me and my beautiful children. It hasn’t been plain sailing, but so far 2018 has given me an insight into what that can look like and, more importantly, how I can achieve that.

Click below to see what other people are up to, and to join in:

TMI Tuesday blog

TMI Tuesday: 3rd July 2018 was first posted on A Leap Of Faith.

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