Hearts and flowers for TMI Tuesday

Photo Credit: Dark Lion Photography

1. What are your romantic needs?

My romantic needs are minimal in all honesty. For the most part I get what could be seen as traditional romance from my friends. I miss having someone to cook with, but I have wonderful friends who will happily come round for dinner. Having someone to confide in, to share my joys and sadness, my friends are wonderful for filling that void (if you can call it that?) It could be made a little better if I had naked hugs in bed, and those confidences were in the form of pillow talk, chest hair tickling my nose while wrapped in strong arms. Companionable silences while each enjoying our own reading is something I miss. Conventional romance…. Flowers, if I want some I buy my own. Lingerie, again I buy my own. Chocolates, yes, you guessed it, I buy my own. (Actually, I buy myself nice cheeses instead of chocolates but you get my point)

2. What are your sexual needs?

Sexually I wax and wane with regards to my needs. I’m very skilled at managing my own physical requirements for orgasm, however what I am unable to replicate is the scent and touch of a man. I have friends who would happily be the man to stave off those cravings but I would rather wait until the dynamic is right for me too. My sexuality is mainly submissive, and with a man who can get inside my head the slut comes out to play, if that is what he also likes.

3. Do you agree that marriage was a pragmatic institution and in today’s society traditional marriage is not a need but merely a want?

For some people marriage is very much a need, a place of emotional security and a celebration of love between two families. The married couples tax allowance is also available for couples in a civil partnership, and with a maximum of £238 per year available you would be waiting a long time to recoup your wedding costs via this scheme. Apologies for my cynicism…. Having just celebrated my first Divorce-versary you may be surprised to learn that I would consider marriage in the future, but it would be choice rather than necessity which would lead me to that outcome.

4. Do you find conflict in your romantic relationships exciting?

The definition of conflict is “a serious disagreement or argument”. I do not find this kind of relationship exciting, whether romantic or platonic. That isn’t to say I want to be in constant agreement with those around me, I like healthy debate and differing opinions. This leads to interesting and challenging conversations and often I learn something.

5. During sex are you focused on positions or the quality and connection with your lover?

Quality and connection! I’ve had lovers want to go through a whole list of positions, turning it into some form of prescribed porno. Often the best moves are the least attractive. Saying that there are certain positions that I love to be in, that really get me going. And there are some that flick the off switch. Having the connection means that the lines of communication are open, that those “off” spots can be discussed in advance and avoided, or, if the passion is burning high then those scenarios are short circuited. Either outcome is a win for me.

Bonus: Men, what do you have a hard time talking to your lover(s) about?

Ok, so I’m not a man but I’m going to break the rules a little… Getting my lovers to open up about their feelings is something I struggle with. Something I have learnt over recent months is that there is strength in showing your emotional vulnerability. People who love us can’t support us if we keep it locked away. Personally I think that sharing emotions is a really intimate thing, more so than sex, and while I value a strong Dominant man I like it when they let me into their dark. Trust,strength and soft edges.

February Photofest


TMI Tuesday blog

Double trouble for #SOSS

sharing is caring

Last week my time slipped away so this weeks #SOSS post is two weeks rolled into one.

This week saw Elust 108  being released. If you haven’t heard of Elust before go and have a look at their blog. Each month sex bloggers submit their favourite posts and these are compiled into a monthly edition of Elust. There are so many exciting posts to read.

I spotted the Godemiche birthday sale a couple of weeks ago and may have invested in some new equipment for my toy box; SO EXCITED!!! I enjoy their videos on YouTube and their recent addition “Beginners guide to Douching/enema” was a fact filled introduction. I’ve been cleansing for nearly four years now, with mixed success, and learnt some interesting new facts to do with the process. I think it is a definite must for all those new to, or nervous about, anal play.

Submiss34f is a wonderful place to while away an hour or so. I love her pictures, but also the humility with which she posts. B is for bar is the post I was originally going to share, a picture she took long ago and that she loves but can see flaws in. Then my week rolled over, and contemplation arrived in my reader. I couldn’t decide between the two so thought I would share both for the double. This is just the tip of the iceberg though…

Submissy often makes me smile, and this week was no exception. Fire and heat is such a candid view of her need, a window into her relationship with HisLordship. The way that I can cycle through intense need and desire is something I was discussing with a fellow submissive last week. He said how hard it is when, through no fault of theirs, that desire isn’t met by D side of the relationship.

A kinky autistic is a blog that popped up this week. My eldest son has a diagnosis of autism and sensory issues so, obviously, I was scanning WordPress for some ideas to help him out. It seems that reader is aware of my likes and sensory sensitivities, sex and SM was suggested for me. Now, this isn’t exactly what I was looking for, and not immediately relevant for a 10-year-old boy. But as always there is a crossover, and I was able to extract some interesting points for my child. She posted this back in May, but I only found it this week.

Hannah Likes Dirty Words is a come back to regularly. She writes some smutty filth (or should that be filthy smut?) and I look forward to her posts in my reader. A girl on a bench, her submission for this weeks Masturbation Monday,  was particularly relatable for me.

A barefoot girl on a bench.
A barefoot girl on a bench.Urbstract Photography

Double trouble for #SOSS was originally posted on A leap of faith.

My fourth Scavenger hunt location.

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