Hearts and flowers for TMI Tuesday

Photo Credit: Dark Lion Photography

1. What are your romantic needs?

My romantic needs are minimal in all honesty. For the most part I get what could be seen as traditional romance from my friends. I miss having someone to cook with, but I have wonderful friends who will happily come round for dinner. Having someone to confide in, to share my joys and sadness, my friends are wonderful for filling that void (if you can call it that?) It could be made a little better if I had naked hugs in bed, and those confidences were in the form of pillow talk, chest hair tickling my nose while wrapped in strong arms. Companionable silences while each enjoying our own reading is something I miss. Conventional romance…. Flowers, if I want some I buy my own. Lingerie, again I buy my own. Chocolates, yes, you guessed it, I buy my own. (Actually, I buy myself nice cheeses instead of chocolates but you get my point)

2. What are your sexual needs?

Sexually I wax and wane with regards to my needs. I’m very skilled at managing my own physical requirements for orgasm, however what I am unable to replicate is the scent and touch of a man. I have friends who would happily be the man to stave off those cravings but I would rather wait until the dynamic is right for me too. My sexuality is mainly submissive, and with a man who can get inside my head the slut comes out to play, if that is what he also likes.

3. Do you agree that marriage was a pragmatic institution and in today’s society traditional marriage is not a need but merely a want?

For some people marriage is very much a need, a place of emotional security and a celebration of love between two families. The married couples tax allowance is also available for couples in a civil partnership, and with a maximum of £238 per year available you would be waiting a long time to recoup your wedding costs via this scheme. Apologies for my cynicism…. Having just celebrated my first Divorce-versary you may be surprised to learn that I would consider marriage in the future, but it would be choice rather than necessity which would lead me to that outcome.

4. Do you find conflict in your romantic relationships exciting?

The definition of conflict is “a serious disagreement or argument”. I do not find this kind of relationship exciting, whether romantic or platonic. That isn’t to say I want to be in constant agreement with those around me, I like healthy debate and differing opinions. This leads to interesting and challenging conversations and often I learn something.

5. During sex are you focused on positions or the quality and connection with your lover?

Quality and connection! I’ve had lovers want to go through a whole list of positions, turning it into some form of prescribed porno. Often the best moves are the least attractive. Saying that there are certain positions that I love to be in, that really get me going. And there are some that flick the off switch. Having the connection means that the lines of communication are open, that those “off” spots can be discussed in advance and avoided, or, if the passion is burning high then those scenarios are short circuited. Either outcome is a win for me.

Bonus: Men, what do you have a hard time talking to your lover(s) about?

Ok, so I’m not a man but I’m going to break the rules a little… Getting my lovers to open up about their feelings is something I struggle with. Something I have learnt over recent months is that there is strength in showing your emotional vulnerability. People who love us can’t support us if we keep it locked away. Personally I think that sharing emotions is a really intimate thing, more so than sex, and while I value a strong Dominant man I like it when they let me into their dark. Trust,strength and soft edges.

February Photofest


TMI Tuesday blog

The only difference between friends and lovers is about four minutes.


MrN pushed me in ways that were new and exciting, and we had some fun times.

From sharing videos and fantasies, to stretching myself to be able to take a patent leather heel, I was exposed to some different kinks and perhaps he was too. Before I met him I had been confused by the idea of a shoe fetish, but experiencing his passion for heels showed me that it was not odd or scary, and could actually be quite erotic. But we were both incredibly busy, and the distance between us, coupled with our vanilla lives, got in the way of our sharing of time with each other.. Ultimately we couldn’t commit to the others’ expectations and we drifted out of the dynamic after about 4 months. There were no bad feelings though and until about 6 months ago we were still in fairly regular contact.

Life is funny though, and my friend M was single again.

While I was with MrN he had given me permission to get my physical needs met with M, who was playing the field, so we had arranged a dirty weekend. Having parted ways with MrN I now had the freedom to do exactly what I wanted, and explore what M wanted too. Since I had met him as a task for Sir, M and I had become good friends. Over the year he had been a source of support, throughout my separation from P and the loss of Sir, and I was so excited to be seeing him again. The date came round quite quickly and I was on my way down to his place, singing along to the music on my car radio.

The year between meetings had provided enough foreplay to ensure fireworks.

And the night was full of unbridled passion. Vanilla, yes, but fulfilling none-the-less. And when we were spent we lay together, curled up in the dark, talking about life, the universe and everything, before falling asleep wrapped up in each other. That was peculiar for me as I am not a snuggly sleeper. When I woke the next morning, alone in a strange house I had a moment of worry. But as my mind ran through the night before my nose picked up the smell of fresh coffee and sizzling bacon. M had got up early and nipped to the shops, and now he was cooking me a breakfast of bacon and poached eggs. I couldn’t remember the last time I had been cooked breakfast for when I woke, and as he came up to the bedroom with a smile, a kiss and cup of tea (though the smell of freshly brewed coffee was welcome I don’t often drink it) I felt truly spoilt.

We spent the rest of the morning exploring each other’s bodies.

Then we went to town, exploring the market, visiting his favourite cafe for lunch, and finding an opulent bakery where we found the most ridiculous cakes for eating with a cup of tea before my drive home. On the walk back to his house I spotted some curious wicker flowers in a charity shop window. I went in and bought a bunch, at 70p each these were a steal… They were not for display though, when I saw them I had immediately thought of my toy box, they looked like vicious little impact play toys.

I had no idea who would be using them on me but they were too good a find to ignore.

I didn’t have long to wait, as when I explained to M he said he would be keen to try them out, both ways. After getting back to his I helped him with a couple of things before we inevitably ended up naked again. This time my vanilla friend presented his back to me and I used the wicker flowers to make his olive skin glow, using both the bloom and the stem. We then swapped and he used them on me. With my lily-white flesh the bloom made me red, and the stem left angry raised welts. Seeing the effect the pain had on me, and spurred on by the welts as they appeared, he was rather turned on by whole situation. Taking full advantage of this excitement I took him in my mouth, enjoying his arousal once more before it was time for a cup of tea and cake.

As soon as our time together started it was over and I was driving home again – a happy girl indeed. 


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