Hearts and flowers for TMI Tuesday

Photo Credit: Dark Lion Photography

1. What are your romantic needs?

My romantic needs are minimal in all honesty. For the most part I get what could be seen as traditional romance from my friends. I miss having someone to cook with, but I have wonderful friends who will happily come round for dinner. Having someone to confide in, to share my joys and sadness, my friends are wonderful for filling that void (if you can call it that?) It could be made a little better if I had naked hugs in bed, and those confidences were in the form of pillow talk, chest hair tickling my nose while wrapped in strong arms. Companionable silences while each enjoying our own reading is something I miss. Conventional romance…. Flowers, if I want some I buy my own. Lingerie, again I buy my own. Chocolates, yes, you guessed it, I buy my own. (Actually, I buy myself nice cheeses instead of chocolates but you get my point)

2. What are your sexual needs?

Sexually I wax and wane with regards to my needs. I’m very skilled at managing my own physical requirements for orgasm, however what I am unable to replicate is the scent and touch of a man. I have friends who would happily be the man to stave off those cravings but I would rather wait until the dynamic is right for me too. My sexuality is mainly submissive, and with a man who can get inside my head the slut comes out to play, if that is what he also likes.

3. Do you agree that marriage was a pragmatic institution and in today’s society traditional marriage is not a need but merely a want?

For some people marriage is very much a need, a place of emotional security and a celebration of love between two families. The married couples tax allowance is also available for couples in a civil partnership, and with a maximum of £238 per year available you would be waiting a long time to recoup your wedding costs via this scheme. Apologies for my cynicism…. Having just celebrated my first Divorce-versary you may be surprised to learn that I would consider marriage in the future, but it would be choice rather than necessity which would lead me to that outcome.

4. Do you find conflict in your romantic relationships exciting?

The definition of conflict is “a serious disagreement or argument”. I do not find this kind of relationship exciting, whether romantic or platonic. That isn’t to say I want to be in constant agreement with those around me, I like healthy debate and differing opinions. This leads to interesting and challenging conversations and often I learn something.

5. During sex are you focused on positions or the quality and connection with your lover?

Quality and connection! I’ve had lovers want to go through a whole list of positions, turning it into some form of prescribed porno. Often the best moves are the least attractive. Saying that there are certain positions that I love to be in, that really get me going. And there are some that flick the off switch. Having the connection means that the lines of communication are open, that those “off” spots can be discussed in advance and avoided, or, if the passion is burning high then those scenarios are short circuited. Either outcome is a win for me.

Bonus: Men, what do you have a hard time talking to your lover(s) about?

Ok, so I’m not a man but I’m going to break the rules a little… Getting my lovers to open up about their feelings is something I struggle with. Something I have learnt over recent months is that there is strength in showing your emotional vulnerability. People who love us can’t support us if we keep it locked away. Personally I think that sharing emotions is a really intimate thing, more so than sex, and while I value a strong Dominant man I like it when they let me into their dark. Trust,strength and soft edges.

February Photofest


TMI Tuesday blog

You have to sniff out joy. Keep your nose to the joy trail.


One of the stand out memories of my childhood is my brother pinning me down and using his teenage boy smelling shoes to try to torture me. 

It never worked though, and I would always come out laughing. I’m sure that is the reason I can’t tell when milk is on the turn or chicken has gone off. For all of the abuse that my poor nostrils endured at the feet of my brother, and my later habits as a party girl I still find my positive experiences and memories intrinsically linked with nasal pleasure.

I guess I have always had a connection with different fragrances.

Of my top five favourite books two were chosen because the copies I own have that musty well-read smell. I can be transported to a different space and time just by baking a Dorset apple cake, and stormy walks by the seaside are just magic. Even the smell of muck spreading evokes beautiful memories of a well spent youth!

There are definitely certain scents that get under my skin… That fuel my fires of passion, keeping them burning…

For me the strong association between sense of smell and desire was only recognised when I began my journey into submission. Blind to His actions everything else became magnified: the taste of His sweat; the cool touch of His hands as they stroked my blushing bottom; the sound of His voice and His scent. Entering his space, his dominant presence enveloping my senses always felt like coming home. The pheromones emitting from Him coupled with His cologne was a heady mix.

Our first meeting after that long break had me right back there, with that scent which had lingered in my mind.

Since then I have become aware of how freshly sawn wood can transport me back to a certain place and time with M, my former lover; freshly cut grass puts me back in touch with my 18-year-old self and the time I got an allergic rash after spending the night frolicking with a lover in the grassy field near my home; the way fumes from boat engines make my heart pound in my chest with hard-wired memories of lusty evenings spent at fake sea with R…

More recently however, I have begun to form fantasies around particular aromas…

Fresh Tarmac, for example, makes for some interesting scenarios, as does rain falling on hot dry ground… and the smell of smoke from extinguished fire poi never fails to get my heart racing.


Picture taken from Cinders ashes entertainment

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