Introducing The Funzze Vibrating Anal Beads

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All of my adult life I’ve been a fan of butt sex, And I’ve NEVER tried anal beads. At forty that is twenty two years. OK, I’ve only been into toys since my early thirties, but still, that’s nine years. Bearing this in mind you might understand why it was a no-brainer for me when Funzze offered me to choose my next product to review. In amongst the Funzze New Arrivals was a set of vibrating anal beads.

I’d been having something of a rest from indulging my rear end, until I picked up my practise with the flashing butt plugs I reviewed recently. With confidence restored in my anal pleasures I was almost relieved to have the incentive to keep going. And, even though it’s always tricky to judge a toys size by the pictures on a website, and measurements provided, the toy looked manageable for a returning anal enthusiast like myself. And so I sent my request and waited.

My anal beads arrived quickly, unmarked, as per the Funzze delivery policy.

Funzze have changed up their packaging somewhat, as I mentioned in my review of the Beauty Blender. While the box I received the vibrating anal beads in was unbranded it did have a paper sleeve which was full-on Funzze. Inside the box I found my new toy in a hygienic, sealed bubble wrap bag. Protected for the journey from bumps and germs, it’s always reassuring. You also receive the instructions manual, a charging cable and the warranty card, complete with all of their socials.

A full charge takes approximately two hours of juice, and, as ever, there is a light that gently flashes during charge but stays steady once the battery is full. This light is blue and quite faint. I had trouble seeing it behind the black silicone with the bright summer light flooding my lounge. The resulting charge gives enough power to see you vibrating for an hour.

What about the vibrations?

Press and hold the power button until it brrrrrbbbs to life in your hand. Then work through the ten vibrating patterns in your hand. There are three motors, one in each of the larger beads. Each of the press of the button creates a different combination. When all three are vibrating together the anal beads have a rumbly sensation in my hand. Scrolling through the combinations the vibrations felt buzzy when the motors were felt separately. What would they feel like internally though. Especially when the anal nerve endings are being stimulated by the bead texture.

Time to test the Funzze vibrating anal beads internally…

The beads measure just shy of 19cm. If you’re new to anal this may seem intimidating, but don’t be put off. These are my observations as a returning anal slut… The tip is gently tapered. This means that initial plunge can be enjoyed with relative ease, the ridged texture adding to the smooth entry. Make sure to use a water-based lube – this is a silicone toy – and the first bead is a joy to accept.

The full length is clearly much longer than a standard plug.

But each bead has an indent beneath it to allow a rest – I enjoyed using them as a challenge for the next time. The Funzze vibrating anal beads make a great starting point for depth training without splashing out on a specific toy. In my opinion, a specific toy is worth it, but don’t overwhelm your bottom with “I should be able to take more” thoughts. We all start somewhere.

The beads get progressively bigger as you work your way down the flexible shaft.

But with the largest being 10cm around – which is 3.2cm diameter, approximately two of my fingers – the girth can be worked up to quite quickly. Thinking on safety, bottoming out with the beads is almost impossible to over do, given the anal shield. Or base plate? What would you call it? Whatever the name, it is a clear ending to anal intrusion, meaning thes vibrating beads won’t get lost – good job Funzze!

As for the vibrations…

Well, the steady vibrations I appreciate on my clit are not necessary anally. When all three individual motors are running simutaneously these translate to a gorgeous rumbling in my butt. When they are working in patterns the individual motors feel more on the high end. The patterns provide enough intensity and confusion to heighten everything though, so don’t be put off by the buzz described. If you’re prone to an ass-gasm through vibrations alone this may well be the toy for you. If you work better with a stretch then I would recommend a vibrating, inflateable toy. Personally, I’m happy with the results of both options.

The beads are flexible.

By this I mean firm and bendy rather than floppy. Inspired by a conversation and the other dual stimulation toys I’ve tested, I decided to fashion one of my own. You know how I like to get the most out of all toys, value for money is my M.O. As it turned out, the length was great to work the nerves of my clitoris and perineum.

Cleaning up afterwards.

All toys require thorough cleaning, but anal toys need greater consideration. The Funzze anal beads boast a water resistance of IPX6. While soaking in a sink of hot water may still not be advisable, it is rated to withstand jets of water so you can hose it down, scrub under running water and even use the pressure washer on the patio if needs be. This also great for shower play too, if that’s your bag, but probably not for a long soak in the bathtub.

Should you buy these Vibrating Anal Beads?

My first set of anal beads have gone down (in) very nicely indeed. I conclude that the vibrations tend towards the buzzy end, and the patterns can be a touch confusing. But if your nerves respond to these things with enthusiasm then you are on to a winner! With each of the beads having a different texture, the anally-confused stimulation continues. Girth wise, it is a beginner friendly toy, and as a safe and non-intimidating start to your depth journey you could do a lot worse. And when all is said and done, with a soak and a scrub, the ease with which you can clean your anal treat means you have more time to celebrate your wild ass-gasms.

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If you’d like to get your hands on these vibrating anal beads then head over to Funzze. Here you an find the beads, but also a growing collection of reasonably priced pleasure products. Remember to use code BAREFOOT10 for your exclusive discount.