No coming back from disrespect header image shows a female quietly tied in a low hands TK with crotch rope.

No Coming Back From Disrespect

No coming back from disrespect header image shows a female quietly tied in a low hands TK with crotch rope.

Hot off the heels of flying off at peer rope came another munch, and an evening that left a sour taste in my mouth. If ever I had needed to learn that there is no coming back from disrespect, this was the time for the lesson. Before the munch my favourite brat had been for a quick rope fix. Packing up in high spirits we made our way to the pub to meet our friends. I was looking forward to seeing Mr Marks, the man responsible for Sir introducing a new rule. Since then I had exclusively topped him when we had met up.

Rope, pain, head fucks, denial. You know, normal stuff.

(You may wonder why I’ve not shared these play times here, but, we’ll come back to that later.)

It was great to see him and other friends I hadn’t seen in too long. Being a single mum munch visits can be infrequent, so I try to make the most of them when I can. Across the tables sat DrS and his new partner. I was glad to see them happy together, but also confused at the steely stares that bore into me, hushed insults tripped into my ears. It was sad that after 6 months, maybe more, double the time we were together, he couldn’t let go.

Each to their own though, right?

I didn’t let it get to me, just carried on enjoying my night. Mr Marks had another ball weight to try on. He was desperate to find one that didn’t pinch his testicular flesh. A reasonable requirement in my mind. He slipped off and returned with the little Allen key for me to slip in my purse. He was having a couple of beers and sleeping at my place, though he knew I wasn’t going to play that night this was the kind of interaction that gave him lots of kinky feels, and didn’t weigh heavy on me.

The night wore on and, as ever, I was one of the last to leave the pub.

Reaching my house, unlocking the door and sitting down on the sofa we continued our chat. I don’t recall what was said, but it was nice, companionable conversation. When I gave him his key back, to release himself for sleep, he started asking to be tied. I’d not put the rope bag back in my cupboard as was getting ready for the house party- maybe. And as it was out he thought it was for him. As he kept on asking I gave in- my first error.

I was damned if I was going to tie him as he wanted though.

If I was going to tie him it would be on my terms. Plus, he’d had a couple of beers so nothing too restrictive would be happening! He wanted a TK (like I had done with my bratty friend earlier in the day. (See the photo above, a wonderful example of a brat respecting my boundaries. She looks beautiful, doesn’t she?) There was no way I was doing this, his mobility plus my stubborn-ness meant this wouldn’t be happening. Instead I opted for an arms above his head, with wrists behind his neck tie.

He was barely in position when he started to complain.

It was uncomfortable, he told me. Too tight at his wrists. I’m careful when I bind people, nerves can be tricky so I always make sure I can run my fingers inside the lines. However, I’m also mindful of the bunny and their sensations- not being them I can’t judge what feels good or not- so I loosened his wrists a little.

He’d asked to be bound so I had no reason to expect what happened next.

He wriggled out of them! OK, no problem. That’s what he chose to do, he’d asked to be bound and then wriggled free after having the lines loosened. It happens and it’s absolutely fine. What wasn’t fine was what happened next. He started jumping around my living room, laughing, repeating “You’re a shit rigger” as he bounced.

I asked him to leave.

He knew that bratty behaviour is one of my hard limits, and this went even further. He could sleep in his car for all I cared, he’d just shit all over my boundaries, his impudence caused huge amounts of pain to me. He may have been trying to joke around, but he knew full well my life before him, the life I was fighting my way back from. I also refer back to my dynamic with Sir in situations that jar me. If I were to treat him like that I’d be out on my ear, so why should I expect any less than I give Him?

Mr Marks and I have maintained a friendship. Somehow.

This isn’t the end of our story, but perhaps it is the only insight you’ll have into it. We shall see. Far from holding a grudge, as DrS clearly did, I’ve let it go, I’ve just adjusted my boundaries to protect myself from repeats of this behaviour. The first time he bratted me he received his warning. I pointed out the hard limit he’d violated and explained future bad behaviour would not be tolerated, I would walk away in this respect. As I don’t make threats I’m not willing to follow through on he should have known this would be an ending for this part of our friendship.

He has apologised and asked me to punish him. I don’t have a punishment dynamic with Sir, I dare say there would be no recovering from disrespect for us either. I don’t want to have to punish friends I play with either, I don’t desire that in my world. If they don’t respect my needs then the only punishment I can offer is a complete full stop to our platonic play relationship. I don’t have the motivation to document our adventures, sure, we (I) had fun, but this evening cast shade over our entire relationship, such as it was.

There really is no coming back from disrespect for me.

Wicked Wednesday

No coming back from disrespect is the latest addition to the story behind the blog. You can find thenext chapter here: Easter Bunnies.

6 comments

  1. Guarding your boundaries, and following through on what you said would happen, is the way it should be. I can learn a lot from that. Thank you for sharing this 🙂
    ~ Marie xox

    1. I always refer back to parenting, and my children know that if I offer up a threat then I follow through. I don’t understand why adults sometimes think the rules don’t apply to them. I’m glad you have found it helpful, I sometimes wonder if I’m all doom and gloom with sharing the less positive parts. N xx

  2. Oh hell no. Good for you for keeping your word. This is obviously not the first time — you said you’d given him a warning in the past — so obviously he has proved that he will continue to be disrespectful. So no — HELL no! — on tolerating that.

    1. I am a strong believer in giving people the chance to correct their behavioiur. For whatever reason he chose to ignore that and has paid the consequences. And yes, HELL NO!!

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