I am not here to shame anyone else for their kinks. However a grown up behaving like a brat is something that confuses me. I can’t explain why but it makes me cross when I see it happening. It is a hard limit for me, a boundary that my friends don’t cross. I don’t consent to them behaving that way towards me so they don’t inflict it. It isn’t that I take myself (or kink) seriously. Quite the opposite! I just didn’t accept it when my children behaved that way, why would I accept it from a grown up?
I don’t do brats.
One young lady that I am very privileged to call my friend is… Well, she is one of the brattiest brats that ever did brat. Her bad behaviour pushed the boundaries of those who enjoy submissives with that nature, so you can imagine my displeasure watching her at work.
This is the tale of how we became friends.
We had met at a local event earlier in the year (a story for another time) and our paths had crossed frequently as the year progressed. A mutual friend was getting married and we bonded over mocktails at the hen night. And when I ended things with DrS she fought my corner over the social media bitching that I didn’t see (because I had been blocked).
She had a new boyfriend. He was sadistic and they wanted him to learn some basic rope in addition. She loved the look of rope, and he loved the idea of immobilising her and preventing her bratty outbursts. She approached me and asked if I would mind showing him the ropes. I was over the moon to be asked, sharing my passion with friends is always a joy. I was due to attend the next local rope munch after leaving CST and suggested they join me there. It would be good for him in particular to see others tying, plus there was space and hard points, cake and hot drinks. I also thought if my teaching style didn’t match his learning style there would be other people on hand to help explain.
This was my main worry? How silly of me!
I did a few ties on my own, and shared a reverse box tie with CC so she could get on and tie her toy, then I asked them to join me. I invited her to choose from a selection of ropes, and did my pre tie checks, taking extra care so he could see what I was doing. As soon as my focus was diverted to him, to talk him through my basic rope handling she started goading him and poking her tongue out at me. I stopped. Looked at her. Stepped back and asked
“Would you like me to show him how to tie you up, or are you going to continue behaving like a brat?”
“Ooops, sorry” she looked at the floor, looked up and met my eyes, smiling gently. “I will stop. I just got excited” Fair enough, I thought, and after gagging her with a spare rope I continued. Working through the tie, him watching, her still, me talking through what I was doing. A nice little bubble of rope. Happy days! Once she was tied we discussed some questions he had and then I took the rope off. Together we hanked it, and then it was his turn.
As soon as he had the rope in his hand the brat started.
I thought he would deal with her, but he was trying so hard to focus on the rope. He did the first little bit and then she started poking him, with her finger and her words. How on earth is a person supposed to learn with that distraction going on? Even if it is part of their dynamic!
I could feel my blood boiling. Not only was she annoying the bejeezus out of me, but what if she distracted him so much that the tie didn’t stick and he lost all the safety knowledge. What would happen to her? To him? (Catastrophising is a very real thing for me) Time to intervene:
“Are you going to continue with this behaviour?”
“You can either stop, and I can show him how to tie you up properly, safely, like you want him to do. Or, you can continue as you are, and go and sit in the corner while I talk him through tying ME up.”
Pauses and ponders
It was at this point that I noticed the room was in silence, awaiting her decision.
Fortunately she decided to start behaving, and he got to grips with what they both wanted to learn. And, do you know something?
Three years of friendship, adventures and mischief later, and she hasn’t been a brat to me since.
Much to the surprise of many of our mutual friends in the kink scene.