Buy Myself Flowers

This week I’ve been inspired to do a couple of things differently. Given some medical news I’ve been feeling a bit blue, so when I saw a sad little bunch of reduced Alstromeria I couldn’t help but buy these flowers for some smiles. I’ve also decided I want to tie myself up more. Firstly, because I’m a bit rusty and the Self Tie Tuesday group has a few thirty day plans which give structure to my un-rustying my tying. (Is that even word?) But then Coco mentioned that she and some others do a weekly theme all on their own. She has just started self tying and I love her enthusiasm, so I joined up too.

With the bunch of flowers in hand, prompt four (futo) of the 30 day plan in my mind and Coco’s theme (legs) in my Fetlife notifications, the above photo is possibly exactly what you would expect.

But as I sent SWL the image I had to chuckle. You see, she sent me a song a while ago. Miley Cirus’ Flowers, stating “this always make me think of you!”

And I do indeed buy myself flowers sometimes.

Looking at the battered bunch on my bed, my hip cramping and shin screamed under the compression, I questioned the sense behind buying flowers to cheer myself up, and then removing the buds. But seeing as I was smiling at the situation I was in, there can be no doubt – they cheered me up.

Of course, the song isn’t about a woman buying flowers in order to shred them and incorporate them into a tie. It’s about a post break-up song, a reminder that being single is ok. You can do all the same things with yourself, life will go on and you may even thrive in your new found independence.

Well, my brain, as regular readers will know, can do somersaults, trip off down unexpected tangents. And yesterday was no exception. Early last year, I wrote a post on non monogamy, and my relationships. How different layers of love and joy fit into my world. It may be helpful to go and read Coffee, Tea And Non Monogamy now, before I get stuck in here. Bear in mind, my dynamic with S is no more, but the basic premise is there.

See you when you get back…

I’ve been reflecting a lot recently. Relationship styles and dynamics vary greatly, as much as the people in them. But there is one relationship I didn’t discuss in that post. That is my relationship with me!

Have I mentioned before that I like me?

I enjoy spending time with myself, quiet contemplation or noisy debate. I like to buy myself flowers, take myself out for lunch. Romantic walks along the river? I’m all over it. Do I argue with myself? Of course I do! But… A tender touch, a little time out (in a book usually) mean I quickly turn the tables on the funk and make up with myself.

I am also averse to dating. I enjoyed a stretch of dating with D, but prior to that the only person I have consistently dated is me! Gosh, I’ve had some adventures…

• The opera. (The day after self-date night I found the windmill.)
• The circus
• Bands
• Dancing
• Pub quiz
• Fetish nights
• Barn dance
• Even a dirty ‘weekend’ in Paris.

And yes, as SWL says, I even buy myself flowers.

I don’t do any of this because I need someone to do it for me. I do these things because I love to fill my life with joy. Like any relationship, the one I have with myself needs nurturing. I need time where I can exclusively be with myself, no outside disturbances or stress. Just me, myself and I.

Is that my introvert peeking out? Or is that what healthy looks like for me?

I didn’t realise that this (the list above, and my outlook in general) was rare. SWL recently pointed out that I was wrong. That it is rare for someone to take themselves out for a romantic dinner for one, buy themselves a bunch of flowers, play hard to get (with themselves) after a fun gig. But I do all of these things.

And so, when my fuzzy brain joined the dots mid tie, I wondered if there were many more like me. Or am I really an anomoly? Sorry, I’m not allowed to use that word in relation to me. (According to SWL that has negative connotations.) Am I really unique, an enigma? Or are there more of you, who, like me, date yourself. Do any of you treat yourself in the way you would like to be treated by a romantic partner? Or am I just a weird-o who ‘should’ be doing more actual dating? Rather than just saying Mmmmmmmm to my own company!

I’d really love to hear your perspectives. Please let me know in the comments.

And if you think self dating is odd, let me know that too! Or maybe you can buy me some flowers so I don’t need to buy my own! 😉

Sharing for Mmm Mondays Meme because a- Rope! And b – what’s not to say Mmmmmmm about with my dating style?!

Also linking up to Mrs Fevers 43 for ’23 along my own plagiarised version Lists, Prompts and Inspiration. This is prompt number 3, Uniqueness.