Wild Wank With The Funzze Rechargeable Wand

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I don’t know about you but sometimes I just need to get off in nature. Finding the right tool for the job, however, is a little more tricky. Butt plug, fingers, rechargeable wand, dildo, clit sucker… All have their place in my collection but they generally take time to build. There is an urgency that is required for a wild wank, this girl likes to have the right power at the right moment.

The wild wank has been enjoyed for a number of years.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a responsible nature lover, an ethical exhibitionist. But the fear of being caught, hypervigilance for movement in the bushes, ears pricked for dogs bounding out of the undergrowth, signalling an approaching owner… What a thrill! Play opportunities are limited though, mainly because my primary play partner is my Doxy, a mains powered dinosaur of a wand. And one of the few toys that guarantees a swift release.

As it happens this post wasn’t meant to be about my most recent wild wank.

It is, however, my latest review which just happens to cover my experiences out in the woods. But more on that later…

Funzze asked what toys I’d like to review next. Well, I’m always looking out for the replacement for my Doxy, which I’m convinced is due to retire soon. And as I continue to enjoy the Super Powerful Wand Massager they sent me last year I wondered if a smaller, more waterproof option might be a good addition to my toy box so I requested the LED Display Wand. It is a hot pink, silicone, rechargeable mini wand. But would it hit the spot? You’ll just have to keep reading to find out…

(Spoiler: It absolutely did. Don’t have time for the rest of the review? Just head straight over to Funzze and use the code BAREFOOT10 to buy one!)

I do enjoy mini wands, but their power is generally more on the soft and melty side of vibrations. Or they try to make up for being so small and light, they cause pain in their hammer like intensity. Both options allow me to achieve orgasm, but, like Goldilocks, I was still looking for the one that is just right. Opening the upgraded packaging, I found the wand in a hygienically sealed plastic bag, along with toy pouch and instructions.

The Funzze mini wand feels good and solid in my hand, the silky smooth silicone with a hint of drag which I knew would add sensations as it worked my sensitive folds. The initial charge took four hours, and I enjoyed watching the charging bar on the LED display fill up. I knew that I’d get one to two hours of play from a two hour charge, after this initial filling, so I was excited to watch the power meter. And when I started using it, the LED display was very useful. Not just with telling me how much juice the wand had left. There is a timer which counts up how long the wand has been turned on for. If you like to time your orgasms, or have a set amount of play time, this would be really useful for keeping track of your activities.

Once it was fully charged and I was home alone, I whipped it out of its bag.

It is a lovely weighty toy, and running through the vibrations in my hand I couldn’t deny the power that was focussed my palm. They are more penetrating than buzzy vibrations, but don’t rattle my teeth like the rumbly Doxy. There are ten different patterns, each with four levels of intensity.

When I pressed it to my nose I had an instant sneeze! This little wand might well be just what I’ve been looking for?!

Setting the wand to function one, level two, I ran it gently over my labia.

The whole area sprang to attention, my generally reticent clit swelling immediately. It would have been easy to climax hard and fast, but in the interests of science I decided to ride the wave, give the patterns the benefit of a needy clit rather than a post-orgasmic one. Even so, as I take, on average, seventeen minutes to go from cold-to-golden, you can imagine my surprise when less than ten minutes later, mid-testing pattern eight, level three, I came so hard my neighbours windows may have required replacing.

Over the time I’ve been testing the wand there has been a good combination of steady vibration Os, and variable pattern Os. I normally get hacked off with patterns, so this is a massive surprise! Not all of them affect me so, but the ones that vary along the higher intensities have proven to me that I’ve been wrong all along. I have NOT liked patterns in the past, but perhaps that’s because I’ve just not found the right ones?

With rumbly vibrations emanating from the head, you might be concerned they’d travel along the handle. Tests reveal that this is not the case. If you find vibrations through your hand to be a barrier to pleasuring yourself, rest assured that I haven’t found this to be of concern.

And then the suggestion was made… that I might enjoy a walk in the woods.

Take some Me Time in nature.

“Have wand, will travel” has never been more apt a saying than that morning. I took myself to the woods and went off the beaten track, down some disused paths and on, into the scrub until I found a clearing. Pulling my shorts down I leant back against the trunk of a gnarly tree before nestling my arse cheeks down into the mud. Forest floor crud grazing my flesh, setting the scene for my next adventure. In amongst the rustling of leaves in the breeze, and distant road traffic, I barely noticed the sound of the vibrations either. The wand, as I’d imagined, hit the spot, within ten minutes I was writhing and moaning.

Mind you, I was a bitch on heat that morning. And my inspiration was top drawer!

The wand also works well internally.

Pressed inside as a dildo, when thrust the head strokes my g-spot to the point of soggy mattress. The vibrations melt into me and, when used in tandem with the Doxy, render me helpless to hold back the orgasms. Yes, plural… Even if you prefer a little friction for external stimulation, make sure to use water-based lube when you insert it. And it is probably a good idea to sheath the wand depending on your levels of moisture. It’s water resistant to IPX6, meaning gush proof but not submersible.

Whether you’ve used externally, internally or both, don’t forget to clean your toy after. Warm water, anti-bac soap (or toy cleaner) and a soft cloth should see you back to freshness. Don’t whack it through the dishwasher, or soak it in the sink.

Down sides to the Funzze rechargeable LED display wand.

The vibrations are intensely powerful.

No, I know, I know… this isn’t generally a problem when looking for a wand. Resting atop my labia, the rumbles delight gently. Pressed hard into my clit/vagina/bottom, they bring about big orgasms! Using the wand, with my indelicate touch, day-after-day led to a sensitive, achy clit that would leap at the lightest of touch. This is great for me, but if you require a lighter touch then bear that in mind when planning your methods of masturbation.

The head of the wand has a faintly raised seam, barely noticeable really.

But then so does my Hitachi, and that irritates (shreds) me and makes my sensitive labia bleed. Which is rather unfortunate really. With that in mind I proceeded with caution. As it turns out, the seam is smooth and the soft silicone is gentle. And if the parts you wish to massage with your wand are even more sensitive than mine then you can easily rotate the wand to move the seam. (Some might say you can turn the Hitachi, but I’ve not managed. Wires get twisted and kinky. Being twisted and kinky is great for the humans in my world, not so much for my masturbation aids.)

I’m all for finding every possible way to ‘get off’ with any toy in my possession.

Currently I’m focussed on stretching, thought perhaps the wand would make a powerful anal addition. I’m almost back to the start of my anal gape journey, so you can imagine how delighted I was when I finally worked it into my depths. The vibrations were intense, as they were vaginally. And the pressure against the dildo in my cunt was immense. However, what I hadn’t considered was the removal of the wand. The vibrating head has a shelf-like ridge beneath making it something of a challenge! Have no fear, I got it out, asshole intact. But maybe don’t Do A Barefoot. (Unless that means pressing it against your hole and enjoying the gorgeous sensations externally. Now THAT feels good.)

Should you buy the Funzze LED display wand for your own wild wank?

Whether or not you wish to get yourself off in nature is not for me to say. However, if you wish to go wild while you wank… the Funzze rechargeable LED display wand is a must. Considering the price point of $45.99, I’d be hard pressed to find an equivalent powerhouse. Aside from the three minor “problems” I can’t see any reason why I would stop playing with this wand.

The compact size of this wand makes it convenient to carry around, while the LED display enhances its functionality. With this wand, you will have a powerful tool at your fingertips, with strong vibrations that meet the need for urgency during a wild wank. So, go ahead and grab yourself the mini but mighty wand from Funzze, complete with LED display.

If you are interested in buying the mini but powerful wand with an LED display, don’t hesitate to make a purchase. Just make sure to use the discount code BAREFOOT10 for your entire basket.

I can’t deny the fact that this wand, whether used for a wank in the wild, or in the comfort of my own home, is very much a Mmmmm toy. Or a Mmmmhhhnnngggg toy. And so I’m sharing to Mmm Mondays Meme. Find more of my MmmMischief here.