What’s that, Jetpack Daily Prompt? You want me to think about things that I know for sure. ..To share ten absolute truths, certainties. I’ve been having lots of conversation recently, sharing lots of things I’m absolutely, positively, definitely, without a doubt NOT! So, thank you Jetpack for giving me an excuse to catalogue the ten things I am NOT here.
List ten things you know to be absolutely certain.
- I’m NOT a brat. Not in any way. Under no circumstances is this true.
- I’m NOT a make up and nails person.
- I’m NOT into receiving pedicures.
- I’m NOT into degradation OR praise.
- I’m NOT into sexting.
- I’m NOT interested in nappy play.
- I’m NOT into dirty talk.
- I’m NOT a voyeur.
- I’m NOT into role play.
So, there we have it. My list of ten things that I most certainly, definitely am NOT!
What? That’s NOT ten things I am certainly not…
That’s a great observation! There really are only nine.
So why have I stopped? There are plenty more things on the list of NOTs, after all.
I had to stop at nine for one very important reason. Ongoing conversations and my over eager mouth have highlighted that…
10. My list of ten things that I am certain I am NOT is actually pretty useless. The nine above are just self-limiting beliefs that are very much up for discussion.
Currently I’m enjoying taking a peek into corners that I have previously not wanted to explore.
Whether that takes the form of (1) trying to let the cheeky, playful side of myself out inside a power exchange. I had to ask for explicit and enthusiastic consent, but am being actively encouraged. There have been tentative steps to (2) grow my finger nails, because I’ve learnt how much I enjoy the sensation and want to return the pleasure. In the same way I’d like to give a pedicure, and (3) would possibly, maybe be open to having one of my own. But likely only under certain circumstances.
The discussions around pedicures (and other things) have been (4) lighting fires (of degradation) I didn’t know were set. But with these conversations comes a realisation that I will need to know, categorically, that I am cared for, safe, desired… in fact, I will need to know that I’m not the disgusting creature my mind monsters would attempt to convince me I am as I travel that down that road to being “less than”. The kind of mind fuck I will need, requires me dragging back into the light after all.
And that lightness… the sensations… the cheekiness… the desire to please!
( I thought the last one’s ship had sailed.)
They have all turned me into a sticky, gooey, wanton mess. One who wants to whip her nipples at someones request rather than being left to her own devices to come up with self torture. Not only that, but one has found she actually rather enjoys (5) building fantasies via text with someone she has found herself on a certain level with. The connection is key. And with these building images I have dared to (6) imagine nappy play. Not as an adult baby, but as a depraved pervert who might find it exciting to have the option to pee in plain site. Without the associated public outrage!
But it’s not just the text messages that are forming the connection.
There is a whole range of ways we communicate, and discussion on all things related to our explorations are extensive. Peppered in among that is a (7) delicious sprinkling of his ways. Not the same as sexting, instead teasing out the bits of me that I’d denied myself. Thawing this frosty kinkster, melting her back into that pliable submissive fuck-toy or (in honour of Super Smash Cache) “His fuckable cum sleeve.” On the subject of which… I don’t consider myself a voyeur. It doesn’t do anything for me to watch people fucking. Unless… I get to look up his body as he skull fucks me. Or I get to lay back and watch as he makes the most of me sprawled beneath him, balls deep inside my hot, bruised arse. I could watch that allllll day!
His little Fleshlight. Pretty piss flaps. Maybe even his pet?
Which would all have been unthinkable. For the last nine years I’ve been busy building up my self worth. Learning to love the woman that I know I am. Discovering that people like me for WHO I am, rather than what I can do for them. So it has been something of a surprise to learn that I have not only got thoughts of playing around with different, somewhat unlikely, roles. But that I am actually craving them.
So, here is to evolution, to growth and to self-discovery. Rather than being defined by those things we believe we are NOT.
From the story of how the barefoot sub became the woman she is today, to toy reviews, with a hefty dose of contemplation, a sprinkling of erotica and a LOT of nudity in between, you can be sure to find something to tickle your fancy at A Leap Of Faith.
Are you familiar with the Windows of Johari? This reminds me a bit of that concept. The first “window” (through which you peek into yourself) is “What do you KNOW that you know?”
Your definites.
So many of those firm lines are prone to squiggle though.
*
I’m not able to say whether I am definitely NOT a brat. I don’t have the experience of attempting to be one and in my relationships the prospect does not arise.
I definitely do NOT tolerate brat behavior though. It’s a hard no. I have to work damn hard and fight through discrimination on multiple levels to do my job on a daily basis. I am jumping hurdles and re-routing around road blocks CONSTANTLY. (Most women do, but sometimes I think I get double dosed because of the field I work in.) So no fucking way am I putting up with that in a “nya, nya, you can’t make me!” way from anyone I’m in a relationship with.
I hadn’t heard of the Windows of Johari but it’s fascinating. Thank you for the pointer and I shall read further when I’m off (mum) duty.
Re. bratting… The kind if behaviour I’ve seen brats passing off as being cheeky makes my blood boil. I am NEVER going to be one of *those* brats. But it is interesting be exploring power exchange in a wholly different way. In the same way I am with my friends (silly, playful, cheeky) with the added imbalance and known expectations.
He knows I’d be upset if I was to brat like that, but I also know that it’s ok to flare my nostrils if he is being very, very silly and I want to point out he’s being a bit of an arse.
Loved this !!! … I never say never … and of course I do always know when to stop! LOL !!!
Xxx – K
Oh, this is a wonderful idea, isn’t it? For those of us who sometimes don’t know how to define ourselves, defining what we aren’t may be a great first step! Also, I am not a brat, or good at the hair and nail thing…. That’s why the universe made us the mothers of boys 🙂