Barefoot's bare breasts for the post Planned Spontaneity

Planned Spontaneity

Barefoot's bare breasts with purple lego nipple clamps for the post Planned Spontaneity
Photo: Tony James Photography

I hadn’t initially intended to share a post today, but then I followed a trail of crumbs to Brigit’s new project Tell me something true and thought I may have something to say. The prompt this week asks if you are a planner or more spontaneous. Perhaps it is a little strange to say that I am a mix of the two, with a strong preference for planned spontaneity.

“What on earth do you mean by planned spontaneity, barefoot?” I hear you ask…

For those of you who are familiar with my blog, and my relationship with sir, you may already know the lengths I go to to maintain focus on my tasks. Indeed, I’ve spoken about it a few times, most notably in my writing on discipline and training. I truly value the skills that Sir has instilled in me by stretching and challenging. I spend a lot less time in a muddle over my commitments these days.

This ability to plan has enabled me to set a goal and achieve it, without melting away into a puddle of stress, has proved life changing! Take the monthly writing challenges. Last year I made a spontaneous decision to join in with Every Damn Day In June. I DID manage to complete it in full, however, I hadn’t planned what I would share, and ended up furiously tapping away until all hours in an effort to keep up. The results were hit and miss. This year I PLANNED my february photo fest and A-Z April. The latter was more difficult but both were completed. In full. And I am happy with the results.

But then I decided to space out my postings again, concentrate on quality, continue with my story, and share the products I’ve been enjoying when… I get bonked on the head by an excellent project and jump in with no plan at all. Spontaneous, for sure. (And as it’s also Friday, a great reason to join in with another meme- Boobday)

So today I am winging it.

Writing by the seat of my pants and sharing the streamlined chaos of my mind!

And while I could just wing my way through life, planning has enabled me to achieve things that were long term dreams but felt unachievable. Like running a really long way! Could I do things like this on a whim?

At the peak of my training, I found myself with a spare weekend. Child free, commitment free. There was a 24 hour event which, a year before, I’d never considered. Fitness, stamina, sanity… they all stood in the way. But perhaps I could achieve another Ultra distance? Meet some new people? Run somewhere different? I signed up, lacking the self control to stop myself clicking the “Submit entry” button. It was an excellent weekend, an experience unlike any I’d had before. One I will repeat at some point. Perhaps with the same ease and confidence in my ability.

Perhaps this is where my love of planned spontaneity comes in…


I certainly haven’t always been able to quiet my brain long enough to just follow my feet- A saying that sir introduced me to. In the depths of my depression, if I wasn’t following a set plan, I was doing nothing or trying to do everything. With Sir and tasks I’ve learnt to be flexible, to cut myself some slack if things don’t go to plan. To accept that I’m not a failure when they don’t! And with this I have gained the freedom to lose the plan on occasion. Learning when I can switch off from responsibilities and play with my time (spontaneously) and believing that I can switch it back on when needed (planning).

Yet more lessons through submission! I love D/s.

While walking with friends earlier in the week, the topic of events came up. We are all keen to get back to play parties and munches! However, it came to my attention that my approach to events may be somewhat unusual. While others attend with the intention to play I go along to see people, and enjoy the atmosphere. Some events I’ll sit at the bar swilling tea to my hearts content. Others I’ll potter around watching scenes, occasionally picking up play with friends. Perhaps I’ll find someone who wants to buff my latex? Or any other in a long line of options that I can enjoy as the opportunity arises.

With this in mind my preference is to attend solo, meaning I’m not tied to a particular person or group. Consequently I avoid the temptation to hide in the relative safety of friends. As a result I’m forced to make conversation, to mingle and to meet new people. (I often look much more sociable than I really am!) Even if I have touched base with someone beforehand about a potential play I still arrive with zero expectations of it. I’m easy going, flexible in my approach to others. (I also appreciate this in return) If the night goes in a different direction I don’t mind.

While the importance of focus and planning is not lost on me, I also value the times I set aside to be spontaneous. To have fun. To explore. Sometimes that means adding a last minute running event to my calendar, other times cutting lose from a flexible arrangement to have a lazy lie in! As adults I think we spend so much of our time meeting the needs of others, that sometimes it is just nice to sit back, breathe and enjoy the ride.

Wherever it takes us.

If You’ve enjoyed this post, please consider supporting more planned spontaneity by buying me a coffee.


  1. I am also one for planned spontaneity, and also agree with that last sentence. As adults we have so much to do, that sometimes we just need to give ourselves a break… spontaneously 😉
    ~ Marie xox

  2. I can especially connect with that part where you explained that before you began to plan you were either doing nothing or everything. I tend to plan more to prioritize and control my ADD and anxiety than to finish all. the. things. But I do so love a checklist. I need to work on the flexibility and enjoying the ride. I’m not sure I could go to an event alone without imploding from social anxiety.

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