When thinking about discipline in regards to BDSM I think many of us automatically think of punishment and reward.
The proverbial carrot and stick conversation “Do what I say or I’ll spank you” or “If you are good then I will reward you.” I remember that being my default position before I had started to delve into my submissive side.
Before I met Sir.
Since starting to make friends within this wonderful kinky world I have met a lot of brats. They are wonderful people and yet I can often be seen scratching my head in puzzlement at them. Why would they thrive on acting up, getting in trouble with their Dominant and being disciplined afterwards to correct their bad behaviour.
For me bratting is a hard limit, but that is for a different post…
I still remember, with great clarity, the only time I have been
punished sanctioned. It was early days in our dynamic before either of us knew how important pain would become for me. I was told in advance that I would be punished for leaving my task completion to chance, but do you know what it was that caused the correction? It was knowing that he was disappointed in me.
That I had let him down.
When I saw the prompt on discipline I all but dismissed it, I didn’t think it was necessarily relevant. But what I like about a good prompt is that it encourages me to think and delve a little deeper.
I then received a set of tasks to complete.
I spent the morning pondering the tasks before sitting down with my lunch and my trusty notepad.
The same notepad which has the tasks I’ve been set previously. Weeks worth of ideas, notes and ticked off plans.
Once I had finished scrawling in the pad I flicked back through again, connected the dots, and realised that this was in fact discipline. And a side of BDSM that is often missed out and misunderstood by onlookers and, perhaps, even by those within this wonderful world.
He asks things of me, tasks that stretch and challenge, and when I agree I do my best to complete them to the best of my ability. The way to do that is to plan and organise.
BDSM has made me more disciplined in myself.
Not through fear of retribution,
It’s because I want only to please Him.
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