Notepad of plans shared on Confidence comes from discipline and training.

Confidence comes from discipline and training.

Notepad of plans shared on Confidence comes from discipline and training.

When thinking about discipline in regards to BDSM I think many of us automatically think of punishment and reward.

The proverbial carrot and stick conversation “Do what I say or I’ll spank you” or “If you are good then I will reward you.” I remember that being my default position before I had started to delve into my submissive side.

Before I met Sir.

Since starting to make friends within this wonderful kinky world I have met a lot of brats. They are wonderful people and yet I can often be seen scratching my head in puzzlement at them. Why would they thrive on acting up, getting in trouble with their Dominant and being disciplined afterwards to correct their bad behaviour.

For me bratting is a hard limit, but that is for a different post…

I still remember, with great clarity, the only time I have been punished sanctioned. It was early days in our dynamic before either of us knew how important pain would become for me. I was told in advance that I would be punished for leaving my task completion to chance, but do you know what it was that caused the correction? It was knowing that he was disappointed in me.

That I had let him down.

When I saw the prompt on discipline I all but dismissed it, I didn’t think it was necessarily relevant. But what I like about a good prompt is that it encourages me to think and delve a little deeper.

I then received a set of tasks to complete.

I spent the morning pondering the tasks before sitting down with my lunch and my trusty notepad.

The same notepad which has the tasks I’ve been set previously. Weeks worth of ideas, notes and ticked off plans.

Once I had finished scrawling in the pad I flicked back through again, connected the dots, and realised that this was in fact discipline. And a side of BDSM that is often missed out and misunderstood by onlookers and, perhaps, even by those within this wonderful world.

He asks things of me, tasks that stretch and challenge, and when I agree I do my best to complete them to the best of my ability. The way to do that is to plan and organise.

BDSM has made me more disciplined in myself.

Not through fear of retribution,


It’s because I want only to please Him.


Check out the other posts for Tell me about by clicking the badge below, or click here to see what everyone is up to for Every Damn Day in June.

every damn day in june




  1. You have no idea how much I relate to this. Like, I want to put in caps ME TOO!!!
    I also scratch my head at why people would want to break rules and be punished! And for the disappointment is also the punishment. I want to please and that’s what makes me disciplined too and if I don’t I become deeply unhappy with myself.

    1. I’m always happy to follow my own path, but when someone else is on the same page it’s really exciting! Loving the ME TOO in big bold capital letters.

      I was part of a conversation recently where a Daddy commented that not being bratty was “like a toilet seat. Boring, but it keeps your arse out of the shit” which was a little sad to me. Hey ho, it would be dull if we were all the same, wouldn’t it?

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.