I have spoken before about the importance of goal setting for me. How this encourages me to live my best life. So, is it surprise to discover I’m not one to write new years resolutions? I used to, in an old life, but it seems that the challenge with them was how quickly I could give up. Hindsight suggests that these resolutions were not based around my hopes and dreams. Rather what I felt was expected of me.
June saw me reflecting on my writing, and I set myself some challenges. In October Sir asked me to share my goals up until the end of 2021. He asked for a brief description of how I intend to achieve each of them. As the months tick by I get more and more ideas, things to do and places to go. With each addition I become more excited but less focussed. The overwhelm takes over. This is a bad habit of mine, the perpetual starter. Sir and his tasks have helped me realise I can be the finisher I aspire to be. But outside of his Dominance and control I still find this a struggle. This is something that I have asked for help with, and I’m sure I will get better. Like most things, I just need to learn, practise and gain confidence in the required skills.
Learning to live my best life was not meant to be easy, right?
My submission feels very controlled, smooth, calm. His tasks push me to my boundaries but never past them. If it looks like they are going that way he halts my work, I am ever in his care. But the more confidence I gain there, the more I want to achieve on my own. This is a great thing, exciting and terrifying in equal measure. But while he knows where my limits are and knows when to put the brakes on, I sometimes lose sight of those. Perhaps because it is all so new? You see, the growth that Sir has nurtured in me, along with my own developing drive and determination, has been rapid.
The further along the path I go, the more doors I open.
Opportunities for further growth present themselves with increased regularity and I am finding it hard to keep track. Add in my family, studies, work, running, health… It is no wonder I get into a pickle occasionally! A victim of my own energetic determination, perhaps? Mind you, the word victim is one that I have worked hard to shake off. And I avoid it at all costs. I was a victim, but no more, especially not to my own potential. Asking Sir for help does not absolve me of responsibility, that is not where my submission to him comes from. Dare I say, I don’t believe that is something either of us would enjoy!
So I began to look for solutions to my problem.
I am a lover of notebooks, my favourite is my task pad. Where I note down and plan the tasks that Sir sets me. However, my life goals belong in different sections. While I have been trying to use a different notebook for each theme of challenges I have got myself into a bit of a muddle. Trying to find the right pad to note down a new idea, or tick something off a checklist, takes longer than it should. Then I get in a muddle and lose track. So I have ordered the ultimate book for my needs, compete with index labels, dividers and the ability to add pages. This year I look forward to becoming as organised in my everyday as I am in my submission. I am aware that this is a project in it’s own right, ANOTHER self-set task. But if this works as I think it should something massively exciting will happen…