Pet Peeve Fixed – A Vibrator Review

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They’ve only gone and done it! Bestvibe sorted out my pet peeve, I mean. You know the magnetic charging cables? It is rare to find one that I can attach and leave, safe in the knowledge that an accidental knock isn’t going to break the connection. Even the Honey Ducky 2 I was worried about knocking it off its perch. But they all seem to detach when not treated with kid gloves. While that’s unhelpful when you’re a clumsy of like I am, it isn’t the end of the world. My latest review product however… A rechargeable vibrator from Bestvibe, has a genius solution. (Possibly accidental, but you never know…)

But you’re not here to read about my pet peeve.

Maybe you are, but more than likely you’d prefer news on the vibrator itself than its charge-ability? After all, it’s no good being able to leave a toy on charge in the knowledge it will be ready to play with, if it’s actually not worth playing with.

Let me start at the beginning then…

I received the liquid silicone multifunctional vibrator late last year, at the same time as I received the Joy Snowman. Discrete packaging as always, with a speedy delivery, the toy was delivered in its own sealed bag, and the parcel was sealed inside a film wrap. Inside was also a charging cable, remote control and instruction manual.

The website pictures of the thrusting, vibrating and heated toy made it look realistic. But photography doesn’t always capture reality, especially when it comes to budget vibrators. Taking the vibrator in my hands, the texture was grippy to the touch, as you’d expect from liquid silicone, and the material squidged under my grip. I already felt like I’d enjoy being impaled on it, and then my sensitive finger tip rubbed across the protruding vein. It yielded to my touch. Later, when testing the warming function, I tried this again and, with my eyes closed, it felt very similar to the real thing.

With a total length of 25cm it stands quite tall, is an impressive sight. But the insertible length is 19cm so a touch longer than the average vagina is deep, and with a girth of 15cm it is a step-change from the average penis, but unlikely an intimidating one. (If you are looking for a huge toy I can help with that…)

Are you looking for a vibrator that heats up for a more realistic fuck…?

You will find it quick to come up to temperature (4-5 minutes to reach 42 degrees) after triggering the remote control. While an actual penis may have an inbuilt heating system to rival this vibrator, heating is just one of the functions on offer.

The vibrations consist of three increasing intensities followed by seven patterns.

To my hand it feels like there are two small motors inside the slightly plumper section. (If you look at the above picture, my forefinger is resting on the motors.) These seem to work together or separately, sending vibrations out together t give a more intense purr, or they bounce back-and-forth for the patterns, this feels more buzzy in my hand.

And then there is the thrusting…

Of which there are ten patterns. As with all telescopic vibrators I’ve trialled, the thrust offered by this toy are quite shallow. Not only that, but the patterns are generally quite fast, with only two having little pauses in their motion. If you like a quick, shallow fuck then you will absolutely love this. If you prefer a slower, more sensual thrusting you may need to switch it off and use manually instead.

It’s time to return to my pet peeve!

Those magnetic charging points… For this vibrator, they’re on the underside of the testicles, above the suction cup. As it is, the moulded plastic packaging has just enough of a gap that you can attach the charger in the plastic packaging. And even better! You can keep the plastic packaging inside the box and charge the vibrator discreetly behind close cardboard flaps. Ideal if, like me, you have inquisitive youngsters in the home. (Or maybe share a home with a dog and don’t want the toy lying around charging.)

A full charge takes two hours, and gives between 40 and 60 minutes of playtime, depending on the functions you use…

Putting my new vibrator through its paces.

While it is possible to use the power button on the base, to control all three features, the options are confusing to work through. However, with each button on the remote controlling a different function it is simple to work through the uses.

With full battery and remote in hand, I applied a dollop of water-based lube and set to work.

The tip, being warm and gently tapered, slid in easily. And pressing it further in, the veins my fingers had enjoyed so much were every bit as veiny against my walls. I found the girth manageable, which may not be much of a surprise to you if you’ve been reading my posts for a while. The slight bulge to the top half of the shaft glides in, nestles inside. It works in deeper, which bodes well for pressing the remote.

I had powered up the toy using the power button on the base before inserting it, so I could feel the heat. All I needed to do was start exploring the vibrations and thrusting. Working through the vibrations, which carry well through the silicone, they feel fast and buzzy inside of me. The speed of the thrusting is also very fast and jiggly. When holding the base in my hands, the vibrator pushes my hand away rather than delving deeper. Fortunately, a wardrobe is more structurally sound than my arm…

The suction cup is strong!

When attached to my mirrored wardrobe door – the only entirely smooth surface in my house at “doggy style” height – it held up to rigorous abuse. Attached to a solid structure, the internal sensations felt much better – stronger and less frantic. Likely because I’m not absorbing the motion into my arm. With a slick of lube, and without my arm being a tinker, the motion was very well received.

You should know by now that I’m unlikely to use a toy exclusively as the store suggests.

The motion travelling into my arm had given me an idea, and I pulled out my harness. If you don’t have one and fancy trying the vibrator this way, you can order a harness from Bestvibe at the same time. The pressure that builds in my clit when I’m using a strap on makes avoiding orgasm almost impossible, so I thought I’d try the vibrations in a different way. Internally the vibrations were buzzy and the telescopic motion was predictable. (This is not a bad thing, just an observation.)

When wearing it in my harness my body came alive in a whole new way. The base pressed into me, and the vibrations poured out through the cup and around my clit. Turning on the thrusting added a new and moderately confusing layer of sensation. My body thrives on confusion and I was pretty close to completion by the end of my short harness-trial.

Cleaning up and storage.

I don’t just have the one pet peeve, oh no… While I love texture on toys, I dislike having to scrub in all of the nooks and crannies when all I want to do is curl up and snooze. Fortunately, the veins and texture on this vibrator are smooth edged. Post-coital clean up is always an effort, but I was able to clean this quickly and thoroughly without having to work too hard. Extra handy as the toy is rated IPX4. This, according to Trusted Reviews “tells us that the device is resistant to water only at a splash level”. Their article discusses sports watches and headphones, but regarding sex toys, this means you can gush all over it, or use in a gentle shower for up to ten minutes, but do not submerge it in the bath or leave it to soak for cleaning.

Simply wash in anti-bacterial soap, or use some toy cleaner, then leave to dry before popping it back in its original (charger friendly) packaging or a toy bag. Oh, and if your remote control gets covered in lube (or other stucky substances) just give it a wipe down with a damp cloth.

Is the conquering of my pet peeve enough to encourage you to buy?

I’ve thought a lot about this question as I’ve been writing this review. I liked it well enough, but the vibrations are a bit quick for my body, my responses weren’t as I’d normally like. Other than that, the size and shape are damn near perfect for me. And the squidge around the veins… Not to mention the fact the magnetic charging cable doesn’t disconnect at the merest hint of breeze – That pet peeve being taken care of is a big bonus!

And it’s not like one size fits all though, so if you enjoy high frequency vibrations, and have a firm base to attached the suction cup to, I think you will enjoy this sex toy. Especially as it costs (at time of publishing) £41.99, you get a lot of (silicone) cock for your buck. If, however, you like your vibrations and thrust a little less speedy I would recommend the Rattlesnake, also by Bestvibe. The texture is a bit trickier to clean up, but the overall sensations are slower and more rumbly.

However… These conclusions were made before I slung it in my harness. I’m seeing it in a whole different light and am now counting down the hours until my children are in bed and I can sprawl in front of the TV with my most intimate parts being massaged.

If you do pop over to Bestvibe use code: BAREFOOT. You’ll receive a complimentary triangle cock ring, as reviewed by CC and the boy some time back. While you wait for your order to arrive, tell me what pet peeve you have, around sex toys. Maybe we can find an alternate solution!