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It has been a couple of months since I reviewed the panty vibrator for Bestvibe, and I was delighted when the team got in touch with some new products for me to try. First up they asked if I could review the Christmas themed portable heating masturbator, complete with anal beads. The website describes it as the Joy Snowman and, well, that made me chuckle… If I had a penis I would definitely want to empty my balls into a heated snowman. And I could definitely see a fun way to incorporate into partnered sex too so I gladly accepted their offered product.
Receiving and exploring my new toy.
As always, my Bestvibe delivery was quick to arrive and came in discreet packaging. Once inside, the black box gives little away until you open the top. Then come the goodies. Anal beads, charging cable, instruction manual and the masturbator cup, all nestled in foam to keep it safe in transit.
I have never had a masturbation cup like this to explore, so you get the benefit of a curious first timer doing all the things to it. Well, all of the things, other than inserting my penis because I don’t have one. More on that later.
The beads and the heating element both use the same magnetic USB charging cable. With a thirty minute charge, the beads offer thirty minutes of vibrations. You’ll know it is fully charged as the light stops flashing, remaining lit. As the heating element gets to temperature after three to four minutes, you can have a warm willy with relative speed.
First up, the cup.
From the outside it does indeed have the shape of a traditional snowman, a figure of eight hunk of soft TPE with a hole in the middle of the base. This hole didn’t look particularly big, it was no surprise when I inserted my middle finger and found it to be a relatively snug fit. In its relaxed state, the stroker measured 13 com long, with a 2.5 diameter across the base. There was some space at the tip of my finger when I inserted it, but not a great deal. Have no fear though, whatever the size of your penis I’m sure you’ll find the snowman accommodating. I was able to fist it with ease. (And it even went back to its original size without delay!)
The texture felt quite pleasant on my finger as I wanked the dirty digit off. It didn’t feel like my insides, but if my random collection of dildos are anything to go by, realistic is over-rated. Turning it inside out, I was reminded of a Dalek. The texture on my hand, as I fisted it, provided gentle pressure. The softness of the TPE meant that there was no discomfort as the knobbly-bobbly protrusions ran across my hand. I can imagine the sensations I’d feel grinding my clit on similar textures so can’t see it being any less effective on a penis.
What about the anal beads?
As I mentioned, they take thirty minutes to charge fully. Once ready, press and hold the power button for the count of three until it gives a little rumble. Then you just press to work through the intensities and patterns, of which there are three and six respectively.
The beads are twenty six centimetres long, nineteen of which are insertable. They are narrow enough to, in my experience, be a simple insertion for most. There is even a finger loop on the end so you can be certain of not losing them. (You could even attach a rope and make a waist harness so you can go hands free!) They beads are bendy, so flex inside to be comfortable as they snake their way deeper. And that flexibility means that you can make a scarf for the snowman, and bring extra joy to playtime by making a tight, vibrating pocket pussy.
The beads each fit through the finger loop at the power end. As it’s a snug fit, tension won’t be lost unexpectedly, but it won’t get stuck either, simply flick the loop up and over. This means you can create a custom sized vibrating ring, to suit your own girth. By my maths this would work up to 6cm diameter, and it is a rare cock that is wider than that. (In my experience at least.)
Putting the Joy Snowman to work.
While I don’t have the required equipment to fully review the Joy Snowman I do have an obliging friend. You’ve all met my good friend Alice before. (If not here is an introduction, use the search bar for more of his fab visits to these pages.) He was very willing to lend a hand (or, more to the point, cock) to proceedings. Here are his thoughts:
I’m told that the textures stimulate gently and feel really good when lubed up and stroked along the shaft. It was also noted that Alice particularly enjoyed the feel as he pulled it off.
Alice found the power button for the beads a little tricky to start with, but soon got to grips with it. The three increasing intensities felt good, but some of the patterns were distracting. The vibrations travelled well through the TPE body of the stroker, adding a little extra to his experience. Tightening the loop of beads and unlooping them entirely was a bit fiddly to start with, but once he had the knack Alice had no problems. The beads really did charge up in half an hour, and lasted just over that on high intensity vibrations. The heating rod was also quick to work, giving the sleeve a cosy, comfortable feel when in use.
Cleaning up. Is it a chore?
Firstly, lets discuss the masturbation cup. Once you’ve used this you can be wash out the water-based lube or bodily fluids however you choose. Soaked in warm soapy water, rinsed out before using an antibacterial toy cleaner and a soft cloth, even popped through the dishwasher. Being made of TPE it is not possible to 100% sanitise the cup so only share if you use condoms or are fluid bonded. And the material requires a little TLC, you’ll be able to extend the life of this portable pleasure piece by lightly dusting with cornflour once it is dry.
The beads are silicone, which means they ARE sterilisable. It says the toy is 100% waterproof in the product description. However, experience tells me that the beads are likely to be gush or jet resistant rather than submersible. I would avoid popping them in the dishwasher, but you may decide otherwise.
I mentioned earlier that I had an idea for partnered play.
The Joy Snowman looked like a great fit for inserting into my vagina – me being used as a masturbation cup holder. Either wrapped in the beads, or with the beads inserted into either one of us. (Only testing would tell which would work best, but I was willing to do the work. You know, for science.) As it turned out, best laid plans of mice and men. As this isn’t a fantasy I can bring to life yet, if any of you, my fabulous readers, are inclined to try this out, please-please-please may you get in touch and let me know how you found it? I would absolutely love to add this to my review at some point.
Final thoughts on the Snowman of Joy.
Obviously, I think at least one of you needs to buy this masturbator, so you can share the sordid details of how my masturbation cup holder fantasy worked out for you. But other than that, what do I think? Well, you know me, I like products that do more than one thing. This masturbation sleeve certainly has flexibility with how you use it, not just from a bendy anal beads perspective. The sleeve can be used hot or cold, and with or without the beads wrapped around. The beads can be tight or loose (depending on your girth) and can even be used independently of the cup.
At the time of publishing, this multi-use masturbation cup costs £29.99. And, if you use code: BAREFOOT then you will receive a triangle cock ring. This was reviewed by CC and the boy some time back, and I can imagine it adding a huge amount of joy to your time with the snowman!
From the story of how the barefoot sub became the woman she is today, to toy reviews, with a hefty dose of contemplation, a sprinkling of erotica and a LOT of nudity in between, you can be sure to find something to tickle your fancy at A Leap Of Faith.