Joy Is… Thighs Clad In Pink Tights.

I’m on a roll for A to Z April, almost caught up but then nearly dropped the ball again. But I wanted to keep up my streak. When I saw the prompt for revelations this week was joy I had to join in, and combine the two.

Molly chose this poem for the prompt:

If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy,
don’t hesitate. Give in to it. There are plenty
of lives and whole towns destroyed or about
to be. We are not wise, and not very often
kind. And much can never be redeemed.
Still, life has some possibility left. Perhaps this
is its way of fighting back, that sometimes
something happens better than all the riches
or power in the world. It could be anything,
but very likely you notice it in the instant
when love begins. Anyway, that’s often the
case. Anyway, whatever it is, don’t be afraid
of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb.
~ Mary Oliver

I thought I’d be in time for Thigh Thursday, but I missed it with school holidays and such. No matter, I wanted to drop in anyway, take my crumb of joy, share it with you all and watch it grow.

My crumb of joy comes in the form of thighs clad in pink tights, topped off with little denim shorts. Trademark N, as SWL enthused when I pinged across this picture.

Do you remember when I saw her in lockdown? We had a socially distanced picnic at the point midway between us on the Moor? I shared a picture in the post A Place Is Only As Good as The People In It. That’s me in pink tights and little denim shorts, with a heavily rooted mop, coloured with fading blue. Not the picture of submission that has been my uniform for so long – skirt, bare legs, long blonde hair… Though my body writing made the statement lockdowns had prevented me from making. And now, almost three years after that image, things have changed again. I’ve been hiding myself away, amongst my friends while I heal.

For a little while I felt like there would never be joy again.

But that is nonsense! Sometimes I’ll be met with a glimmer of joy, and then I can nurture it from there. And there is nothing stopping me from creating that glimmer for myself.

I’m currently readjusting to life after Sir. I added tights to my skirts, almost immediately. But last weekend I realised that my uniform was, not only superfluous to requirements now, it is also unhelpful for things like impromptu acro yoga. (Don’t worry, I had underwear on so just removed the skirt.)

Anyway… I popped online and ordered these denim shorts.

Then nipped to Asda and picked up some black ones similar to these. I hate clothes shopping but both pairs fit me like a glove. In a size 14. That was a shock. I’m so unfamiliar with how I look I don’t know what size I am. Fortunately Bunny was on hand to laugh at me (in Asda), remove the 16 from my hand and give me the right size.

I know for many people this picture won’t be that exciting. But for some of you, pink tights and denim shorts might just hit the spot!

For me, I’m settling back into myself.

Finding my balance, and subsequently joy, after the end came.

Rediscovering the joy that comes with being me. Just me. Not property. Or owned submissive. Or even his slut.

Yes, I do love skirts and bare legs, but I’m not restricted to that anymore. I also adore my long blonde hair. Will I stay this way forever? I don’t know. But for now I’m happy. I feel fierce and strong and love how it ties in to play times.

Grief is a funny thing, but I’m further along than I realised. Acceptance hit before the end-end. Which means that closing that door has allowed me to open another door on other joyful experiences.

My world is inflating again. My writing has turned back to excitement, pleasure and joy. Rather than mopey, sad reflections. And so it was definitely the right picture to share today. For me.

And I hope my pink-tights clad thighs have brought a little joy into your world too.

Join me as I fly by the seat of my pants for the A-Z April Blogging Challenge 2023. You can find all of my posts for the month here. And you can also find previous years here. 2019 came first. I skipped 2020. 2021 was a full month of photography themed posts. And 2022 was a sparse collection of Q&A style writing, but there were plenty of boobs!.