Order Meets Chaos header shows Barefoot and SWL lying over the edge of a sofa, legs stretched up against the wall.

Order Meets Chaos: When Worlds Combine

Order Meets Chaos header shows Barefoot and SWL lying over the edge of a sofa, legs stretched up against the wall.
Image: Rocket. Models: SWL and Me

Last time I shared a chapter, my story took me on a date. Northern Man, though sweet, was not for me. Friendships were, however, and it was soon time for me to meet SWL. I mentioned this last week, in my Diary Entry post. However, I couldn’t find the right image because my photo archives are out of order, complete chaos! Much like I was at this time.

Chaos, I mean, but order wasn’t far away…

Do you remember about my favourite munch? I wrote about it way back if you’re new here, or just want to refresh yourself. Hosted by Master Bigfoot and Juggler, they made a really welcoming space for all. There was never a shortage of seat hopping by either, and I followed suit, hopping between tables and meeting people I could happily have avoided by sitting in a corner. (There have been munches I’ve felt like doing exactly this, and other munches where I’ve had no choice but to stay in one chair at the far end of a table.) It was quite a surprise when I had a message asking me to guest host for them. They would be travelling for the August munch and wondered if I could fill their shoes. Of course, this was before Sir had gone. When I was feeling confident and strong. But by the time he’d left for his contract I was committed to hosting for them.

I could have cancelled. They would have found someone else to host, no problem. But I didn’t bail on my responsibility. Instead I added more weight to my trip by inviting a woman to meet for coffee beforehand. her name for the blog is SWL. As I recall she’d made a post on Fetlife which I’d replied to. And then she’d messaged me privately in response.

I don’t think anyone could have predicted the course of our friendship back then!

She nervously asked if I’d like to chat or meet for a coffee. As I was in Plymouth the following week, our halfway marker town, I suggested she meet me before the munch. No pressure to stay, but she would naturally be welcome should she choose to.

We met an hour or so before the scheduled start, ordered drinks and sat down. Chatting like old friends rather than new acquaintances. Talking marriage, divorce, kink, submission and ownership. All over coffee in a pub which filled up around us. By the time she got up to leave, and I stepped into munch mode, I got the feeling that we would be firm friends.

We had shared experiences, but also were very different.

Our upbringings and vanilla lifestyles were literally chalk and cheese. And when it came to personality types, I think we both gave off different impressions. She was incredibly nervous, with an obviously busy brain. I was also nervous, but given that I had my munch host hat on I think I seemed calm, organised.

My order balancing her chaos.

SWL and I would discover relatively quickly that first impressions only tell a small part of the story. We would go on to have a photo shoot (her first) four months later, this is when the header image was taken. This would be the first time I would visit her home. Gosh, it was in such neat order, unlike the chaos of my own home! However, this wasn’t the first hint at how organised and ordered SWLs life was. Planning for the photo shoot had been meticulously put together by SWL. Quite unlike my approach to shoots: discuss some ideas, figure out timings, sling a load of props in the bag and see where things lead.

But the order-chaos spectrum isn’t static for either of us. (Any of us?) SWL is very much a planner, and I’m more of a wing-it kinda girl. I’ve shared how she tries to plan our Scavenger Hunt adventures, and yet I push back and need spontaneity. However, the balance tips for both of us. And sometimes, I believe the planning helps SWL organise the chaos, whereas my incessant disorganisation (unless I’m facing tasks- then I’m disciplined, organised!) covers up a calm, clutter-free and ordered mind.

Anyway, enough musing.

Opposites attract, that much is clear to me. But in those differences there are also similarities. And, wonderful readers, I have so much to catch you up on where SWL is concerned. Actually, as she and I met at the end of August 2018 there is much to catch you up on across the board!

This is the latest chapter in the story behind the blog. If you’ve not read any before you can dip in and out of the posts or start at the beginning. The next post, about the munch, will be coming soon. Please do subscribe (in the sidebar) if you want to stay up-to-date.


  1. I am loving your entries. Being Chaos more than order I can relate.

    My Kitten is order with a mix of chaos.
    She plans.
    I wing it.
    We adventure. She plans on where and then once there we go where the spirit leads.

    I make the bed and pick up after her.
    She does deep cleans and organizing because frankly I am a poor organizer. May be a disfunction of my ADD.
    In other words I can relate.
    Opposites attract.
    Yin and Yang
    Order and chaos
    Can’t seem to have one without the other.

    1. I love this! You’re so right, Yin and Yang- you can’t have one without the other. Chaos, with a hint of order, that’s me too! In my home this isn’t matched with an ordered adult, just two children who are finding their own balance, so I have to provide at least some positive examples of being organised and a planner. (Lists, always with the lists!)

  2. Oh I love this and having just finished my post which a piece of fiction basically about opposites this really made me smile


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