Halfway Up The Stairs

I’m a little late sharing my thoughts for TMI Tuesday this week, but I was sat halfway up the stairs checking my emails when I saw the questions being asked and… Well, I’m all for following the signs (if they suit me).

1. When the world brings you down, what is your best tip for feeling good about yourself again?

Historically, life has been pretty good at giving me lemons. This means I’ve had to learn to make lemonade! My recipe includes letting go of what is irking me- laying it to one side is healthier for me than completely discarding it. Next I anchor myself in the present, often times I will focus on one of my maintenance tasks for Sir. And finally I will look to the future, which generally means setting a goal and working towards it. Depending on the quantity of lemons this could be something small like opening my post by the end of the day, or booking into a running event in 3 months time. Whatever it is, it is a commitment to myself.

2. What is your favourite room or spot in your home? Why?

I have always been a fan of sitting on the stairs. The first staircase I remember enjoying was at age 6. I could sit in the middle viewing my mum completing her work tasks, using the intercom system at the bottom. I still remember that phone, etched into my memory.

In my current home halfway up the stairs is the best spot for phone reception, but there is much more to it than that. If I have one child upstairs, and one down then I can keep an ear on both. There is a good air flow in my stairwell, so that helps keep me fresh. Especially helpful when I feel the need to stretch out, lean back and relax. Whether that’s in lingerie or workout gear, And it’s quiet. No TV blaring, no computer games droning on.

Also, my children each have their own “Quiet spot” in the home. Somewhere they can go and work through challenging feelings. In our old house, when we first set these up, there was little space. So one had a corner of my room, the other had a corner of the dining area. They were concerned that I had nowhere for myself, so together they each made a 5 minutes peace sign for me. Then they hung one at the top and one at the bottom of my stairs, as a surprise. Between the signs was where I could go if I needed a little quiet time, and they would not disturb me.

And then there’s my love of A.A. Milne. I’m never sure if my love of Halfway Down came before or after I discovered that I love to sit where I do, but as I grow older I become fonder of it. A few years ago I discovered Robin the Frog’s version- I’m not a muppet fan so this could easily have passed me by. As it’s September Song Project I thought I’d pop him in here. I hope you enjoy it too.

3. Are you living up to your expectations?

My expectations always used to be that I would succeed in everything I attempted. My metric for success has been altered, hopefully permanently, due to Sir’s expectations of me. This is that I try my very best. (This seems fair as it’s what I expect of my children!) As a result, yes! I am meeting my expectations.

4. What lesson took you the longest to learn?

That I am OK.

Being myself, living my life and embracing ME is all good, and I am proud of having learnt this lesson.

5. What has been the most difficult choice you had to make?

I can’t say my separation from P was a difficult choice, the decision made itself when bad behaviour switched from being focussed on me, to being aimed at our children. But I think breaking free from my abusive marriage was a challenging process, and learning to manage the relationship once I knew how poisonous it was for me. But I think we have reached a position, as co-parents, which works for our children. And ultimately us.

Bonus: What defines you?

I am, by definition, me.

“ME” is the only label that fits.

Halfway Up The Stairs is my latest addition to my TMI Tuesday files. If this is a new section to you, perhaps you’ll enjoy this post: Happy TMI Tuesday.