My journey with MrN was underway and I was giving over a little of myself to him. Life is an experiment and I was enjoying exploring new avenues.
It was a peculiar sensation. Having given myself to Sir so completely, I hadn’t had the chance to take that back. MrN was the first person who had a hint of what I needed and so I felt some conflict during this phase. Luckily I’ve always been open and honest and he was patient with my worries.
It can’t have been easy to hear that his potential submissive was still commited to her former Dominant. But he was understanding and made it as easy as possible for me. Just by being him and showing me the way that he wanted things done I stepped away from the past and moved forward…
Opening up a little at a time in the experiment of life.
I had shared with him my initial dislike of watersports. Described how the fear had given way to curiosity.
I had pushed myself to pee on camera for a self-assigned task with Sir, but had never taken it further. This was soon to change. MrN had a strong interest in pee play, and seemed to delight in my uncomfortable curiosity. The first thing that he asked me to do was to use a bowl as a toilet, and tip it over my head. He also asked for videos of both acts. I have never been gifted with technology, so it was the video part that caused me the most worry for this task. Fortunately I had a fair amount of practise with tasks over the previous year. However, this was my first time in months and I felt out of practise and extremely vulnerable.
The best way to tackle those nerves was head on.
So I got started on the job in hand.
Holding the phone in my hand I was able to easily capture the bowl being filled. The next stage took a bit more preparation though, if I got the angle wrong I would have to repeat the task and at this stage I didn’t know if I would be able to!! I had to move fast though.
The thought of pouring cold pee over my head was even less appealing than repeating the task.
I got my phone balancing just so, sat in my bath, hit the record button, closed my eyes and… Surprised myself that I wasn’t completely disgusted with myself for what I had just done. With my own pee dripping from my eyebrows, I stopped the recording. Drawing a bath while I watched both videos back repeatedly, the bubbly hot water rising around me. Washing my body and hair I could then relax and compose an email for his inbox when he had the chance to read it.
I think he must have been very pleased with my efforts.
The next day I received a very positive email, complimenting me on my efforts and asking how I felt the following day, now that I had been able to reflect. Satisfied that I was still happy with what I had done, he asked me to repeat the task…almost.
There was a pair of patent leather heels in my cupboard. MrN asked that, at my next opportunity, I pee in one of them. Once it was full I’d need to drink it, again with video evidence. This was quite a big step to take, he knew that it was a big push for me, but he also knew that I liked to be stretched. His guidance followed:
Make sure you have plenty to drink. It will taste less strong that way.
So, on the next occasion where I had a child free home I hydrated well. Physically prepared I took my phone and shoe into the bathroom. Off I went. The shoe was tricky to pee into, because of the shape. For some reason it was important to me that it didn’t overflow, so I had to stop mid flow!
When I moved onto the second phase I just kept the camera on, holding it in one hand while. On the selfie screen I watched myself tip my head back and drink. I drained the shoe. Not in one fluid motion, it took me a few goes and I gagged a number of times, but I did it!! I was pleased to be well hydrated, the flavour wasn’t unbearable to me but I could see how awful pee would taste if there was a lack of fluids.
Again, I ran the bath, and emptied myself while I did so.
Relaxing in the bath I sent him the evidence and a short email. I explained how pleased I had been to complete this challenge. Expressed my surprise at how not-unpleasant the experience had been. And discussed my disappointment in my gag reflex.
It had betrayed my willingness and submission.
His response: “Well done N, you have done really well, good girl. ” It seems that I was the only one disappointed in my gag reflex. Life is an experiment and trying new things makes me happy. Having someone to share these pushes with made me more at ease with myself.