S is for Speculum

Lady sat on the edge of the bath with her feet in the bath and a speculum between her legs, lying in the bath with its jaws wide open. For the post S is for speculum

The kink being explored this week is speculums.

Like many women I am no stranger to these duck bill shaped contraptions, in the medical setting. And for me erotic vaginal medical examinations are a hard limit. So what on earth am I doing as the proud owner of a speculum? And why would I want to use one.

I’ll let you in on a little secret shall I?

I’m a fan of vaginal gape. I love watching a lovers face as I hold myself wide for him to inspect my cervix, to spit inside of me from afar and to see the inside of my hot tight hole. I also love to fill myself (or be filled) with all sorts of interesting things. Eventually the fear of medical play gave way to the need to explore gaping more. My rational brain says that, so long as the man between my legs is not pretending to be a doctor then it won’t be classed as medical play, just kinky fuckery. And so I ordered one. When it arrived it remained unused for quite some time. I would pick it up, hold the cold metal in my hands, expand the jaws and then release them again.

It felt like an age, but was likely more just a couple of months before curiosity got the better of me.

I really, really wanted to explore this and watersports together so… that’s what I decided to try. With a full bladder I settled back on the side of my bath. Strangely I was very comfortable there, shoulders resting on my toilet. First came a splodge of cold lube. Then I lined up the speculum and pushed the cold, unyielding metal inside. The first tentative pumps expanding the jaws slightly, before boldly pressing harder. I felt myself gasp and knew I could go no further, not today. While getting to know my shiny new toy I had discovered a gap which I assumed would be in the right position for me to be able to pee while I had it in. This rang true for my experiences in hospital with a catheter tube and speculum (following childbirth) so I was confident the next stage would work. Setting up my video camera on my phone I got into a position I could see inside of myself and watch as the pee would flow over my gaping flesh.

Depending how this worked I had plans for a sequel…

Video: on. Bladder: relaxed. And wait.

And wait….

Feeling the pressure building up I wondered if the metal was pressing on my urethra. I channelled my inner piss-slut and enjoyed the intense sensation where my pee was unable to find its exit. Relax N, relax… and with that the speculum flew out of my pussy propelled by a jet of golden nectar which hit my phone, stopping and deleting the recording in one wet blast.

At this point I almost fell off the side of the bath with laughing so hard. As far as plans going wrong this was about as far off course as it could be!

Lessons have been learnt for next time I get my speculum out to play.

#AtoZChallenge 2019 Tenth Anniversary badge

S is for Speculum was first published on A Leap of Faith.

An exhibitionist is nothing without a voyeur.

Goodness me, have I got my bottom out in public? Anyone would think I’m an exhibitionist…

Certainly, if you are a regular reader of my posts you will have seen Scavenger Hunt posts and public exposure for Boobday. I always love the buzz of getting my bits out in places where I could get caught while ensuring that I don’t. This is something that was nurtured by Sir, and last week I played a little game with a friend you’ve yet to meet. It would last Monday to Wednesday, due to family commitments and my Eroticon trip.

It didn’t take long to get my head back in the game.

Monday saw me travelling to an appointment in a nearby town. I had planned a run and my change of clothes for afterwards left me with a chilly chest.

What you can’t see in this picture is the bustling beer garden across the river behind me, or the busy car park, public toilets and footpath that I was facing. There is something intoxicating about that fear, it rarely fails to turn me on. The concept of an orgasm as reward is a new one on me. Having said that my reward on Monday was delicious, the thrill of the memories coursing through me.

Tuesday was a similar picture, but of my bottom rather than my breasts.

It was a much busier day for me on Tuesday, but undeterred I formed a partial plan. I would head out for my run and drop my trousers at some point. I was swiftly running out of miles and there was no let up in the people wandering around with their dogs. The path branched off at one point and the walkers I was just about to overtake took the right hand path. I stopped at the entrance to the left path, set up my camera and dropped my trousers. The resulting picture was so exciting to look back at. If pictures had audio. You would have heard the two walkers chattering away behind the bush to my right.

I had been told that Wednesday would be a big ask.

Knowing that I was planning to run on Dartmoor I had ideas as to what would be requested. It was a surprise to see that he was asking me to:

  1. Pee through my knickers.
  2. Wring the knickers out in my mouth.
  3. For the last mile of my run remove your shoes and run barefoot.

I have always been lucky in that I have been able to question tasks, challenges and games. Wednesdays game was no different. 1 and 2 were no problem. I would look forward to wetting my underwear and sucking the piss soaked fabric. What needed to be communicated was that my training is not up for negotiation. As much as I enjoy being barefoot I will not risk my feet unnecessarily. Explaining my point the third request was revoked. There was something I was unsure of though. Should I put my knickers back on or wear them internally?

That seemed like a good idea to him.

Pleased with my suggestion, it was agreed that I would wear them for the remainder of my run. Sadly the wind was so fierce I could barely stand when I arrived on the Moor. A short walk made the decision for me, it wasn’t safe for me to run up there. So I visited a well trodden path. Again, full of dog walkers! I took my chance as soon as possible once I needed to go. Crouching in the middle of a field I could see for a hundred metres in each direction. Enough time to get the job done. Setting up my camera I set the video, completed the tasks in hand (and on-hand) stuffing the wet fabric up into my pussy I squeezed my walls to make sure that as much excess liquid was expelled as possible. Pulling up my leggings and running off I soon caught up with a couple walking along hand in hand, exercising their dog. Passing them I slopped through a muddy puddle, almost slipping over on my way.

As I slipped my core and pelvic floor joined forces to keep me upright.

I felt the cold muddy slime splash up my legs as hot wet pee gushed out of my pussy. The contrast was electric and I blushed as I smiled at the innocent bystanders. Did they know? How could they? The man though… He certainly had an enthusiastic look on his face. Arriving home much later I pulled the panties from myself, sucked them dry and then poured myself into a nice hot bath.

I felt the filth and grime soak away from my flesh, but it would never be washed away from my spirit.

Quick fire TMI Tuesday

lighted matchstick on brown wooden surface
Photo by Sebastian Soerensen on Pexels.com

Complete each sentence with an anecdote of sexual adventure or misadventure:

1. The first time I . . .

…had sex in a car was with my first boyfriend. It was in his mums car, a white nissan almera estate. The romance doesn’t stop here. We were pulled up in a layby, and the seats were folded down with blankets thrown over the coarse carpet to make it more comfortable. We had ice cream, Ben and Jerry’s Pfish Food, and as I reclined, with my eyes closed, he ate it from my naked body. Opening my eyes to look at the starry sky I noticed the rear windscreen was fogged up, so I reached up to wipe it clear. A shadowy figure loomed over the window, and I pulled a blanket over me. I had never seen him move so quickly, but he got out to confront the individual perving on him and his girl!! He was so brave, my hero! Standing up to the…. Horse!

2. The last time I . . .

…enjoyed naked cuddles was during the summer holidays. No sex, just platonic intimacy. Cuddles, strong arms and a tickly nose. Although I would love a relationship, I love my own company and that of my children. I can take care of most of my needs, but giving myself a strong, safe space to curl up and be small is outside of my skill-set. There are people I could ask for this, but when I need skin-to-skin contact is when I am least likely to ask.

3. The only time I . . .

…have organised my own blind fuck I was so careful with all of my planning. He and I spoke on the phone, I checked out his verifications and planned my safety call. I was as safe as I was going to be, and probably even more careful than I would have been if I was actually going to see him. Anyway… He must have been really excited at the prospect because less than 15 minutes after checking in with my safety call (he was 3 minutes away) I was on the phone to her to say he had gone and I was safe. She suggested I get someone else in to finish me off. I love to be a cum dump, but it needs to be part of a bigger picture, and the expectation of this meet was so much more than the execution.

4. My best . . .

…friends, my inner circle. They bring out the best in me, and allow the worst out too. They trust and share and love. They are my chosen family, my closest allies, and people who aren’t afraid to put me back in my place should I need that too. And when I look around my circle I see that I have shared more than just secrets with them. Well, most of them, I have two close and wonderful friends who have always been purely platonic. More stories to come, but if I share now that would be spoilers

5. My worst . . .

…encounter was with a hotelier I have called MS and introduced him in this post. He was everything that I now know that I don’t want, and still makes my skin prickle when I spot his avatar on Fetlife, though it seems he has disappeared now. A good example of why I should trust my intuition.

BONUS: Everyone, no matter how much experienced, still has some unfulfilled desires. What is at the top of your yet-to-do list?

I would love to go to PisSoir in full latex and experience a night devoted to watersports. Sharing nectar with friends, old and new!

TMI Tuesday blog


Quick fire TMI Tuesday was first published on A Leap of Faith

If you love me let me know #19


Tim Minchin is an absolute genius who can have me laughing until the tears roll down my cheeks, but he always makes me think. If you really loved me is no exception… I laugh because it is true! I would be upset if my future partner didn’t want to video me while I pee. And I have two flasks.

As it’s my blog, and I can make up the rules as I go I thought you might like to watch Tim Minchin’s UWA Address, 9 Life Lessons. On a recent check up with my GP we were discussing my wellbeing. I haven’t seen him for months and he was pleased to see me looking so well. He suggested I have a look at this video when life starts to feel a bit much. It is his go to motivational video. Needless to say I watched it. And it is a wonderful reminder of lessons I have learnt over the last few years. “Keep busy and try to make someone else happy.”

I love music and am always on the lookout for something new to listen to, so I hope the 30-Day Song Challenge inspires some of you to share.

Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment.


My journey with MrN was underway and I was giving over a little of myself to him.

It was a peculiar sensation because I had given myself to Sir so completely and I hadn’t had the chance to take that back. MrN was the first person who had a hint of what I needed and so I felt some conflict during this phase, luckily I have always been open and honest and he was patient with my worries. It can’t have been easy to hear that his potential submissive still felt tangled up with her former Dominant, but he was understanding and made it as easy as possible for me. Just by being him and showing me the way that he wanted things done I stepped away from the past and moved forward, opening up a little at a time.

I had shared with him my initial dislike of watersports, and how the fear had given way to curiosity.

I had pushed myself to pee on camera for a self-assigned task with Sir, but had never taken it further. This was soon to change. MrN had a strong interest in pee play, and seemed to delight in my uncomfortable curiosity. The first thing that he asked me to do was to use a bowl as a toilet, and tip it over my head. He also asked for videos of both acts. I have never been gifted with technology, so it was the video part that caused me the most worry for this task. Fortunately I had a fair amount of practise with tasks over the previous year, but this was my first time in months and I felt out of practise and extremely vulnerable.

The best way to tackle those nerves was head on, so I got started on the job in hand.

Holding the phone in my hand I was able to easily capture the bowl being filled. The next stage took a bit more preparation though, if I got the angle wrong I would have to repeat the task and at this stage I didn’t know if I would be able to!! I had to move fast though, because the thought of pouring cold pee over my head was even less appealing than repeating the task. I got my phone balancing just so, sat in my bath, hit the record button, closed my eyes and….surprised myself that I wasn’t completely disgusted with myself for what I had just done. With my own pee dripping from my eyebrows, I stopped the recording, started drawing a bath and watched both back repeatedly while the bubbly hot water rose around me. Washing my body and hair I could then relax and compose an email for his inbox when he had the chance to read it.

I think he must have been very pleased with my efforts.

The next day I received a very positive email, complimenting me on my efforts and asking how I felt the following day, now that I had been able to reflect. Satisfied that I was still happy with what I had done, he asked me to repeat the task…almost. I had a pair of patent leather heels and he asked that, at my next opportunity, I pee in one of them and then drink it, again with video evidence. This was quite a big step to take, he knew that it would be a big push for me, but he also knew that I liked to be stretched.

Make sure you have plenty to drink, it will taste less strong that way was his guidance. 

So, on the next occasion where I had a child free home I hydrated well, took my phone and shoe into the bathroom, and off I went. The shoe was tricky to pee into, because of the shape. For some reason it was important to me that it didn’t overflow, so I had to stop mid flow! When I moved onto the second phase I just kept the camera on, holding it in one hand while, on the selfie screen, I watched myself tip my head back and drink. I drained the shoe. Not in one fluid motion, it took me a few goes and I gagged a number of times, but I did it!! I was pleased to be well hydrated, the flavour wasn’t unbearable to me but I could see how awful pee would taste if there was a lack of fluids.

Again, I ran the bath, and emptied myself while I did so. 

Relaxing in the bath I sent him the evidence and a short email. I explained how pleased I had been to complete this challenge, that I was surprised at how not-unpleasant the experience had been and discussed how, in my efforts for perfection, I was disappointed in the way my gag reflex had betrayed my willingness. His response “Well done N, you have done really well, good girl” It seems that I was the only one disappointed in my gag reflex. Life is all about experimenting and trying new things, and having someone to share that with made me more at ease with myself. shoe

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