Don’t forget to fall in love with yourself first.

gape

I have shared this picture before, on Sinfully spread for sinful sunday. It got me into a little trouble with the powers that be at WordPress, leading to my blog being removed in the middle of June. On the comments Molly suggested I take part in the pussy pride project, and since then I have had this post waiting to be written in my draughts.

I have a wonderful relationship with my pussy, but it hasn’t always been this way.

Where to start? Why…at the beginning of course!

It is quite well documented within my family that I was always a tomboy. My mum joyfully tells people how I would tuck toy lorries into bed with me at night instead of dollies and cuddly toys. In all honesty, at a young age I didn’t define myself as a boy or girl, why would I? My brother was my hero, and I happily trailed him round on my bike. Gender irrelevant. As I grew up I realised that my body was different to the rest of my family. Mum hid herself away under clothes, shrouding her curves in mystery. But I had, as all children do, seen glimpses of different parts of my brother and dad. I did not have one of those! So I spent some time exploring my body. That pre-pubescent night with a mirror, a torch, a book on anatomy and a pencil.

That was the first time I realised that there were three exits, and I read all about what the middle one did.

This was scary stuff for a 9/10-year-old girl. Babies and pregnancy had been covered in year 5 primary school, but they came out of there??? Holy smokes! As I grew up my body changed, and I learnt all about how these things worked. It wasn’t so scary anymore, but I knew that wasn’t for me. Babies and children, no thank you! But what else was it for? That was a mystery to me. Though learning continued apace, and it didn’t take me long, before I found my brothers stash of porn. And then I knew.

That growing understanding combined with a desire to explore…

It was a slippery slope. My first boyfriend would happily spend hours down there, devouring my soul through those lips, eyes blazing with a passion I hadn’t seen before. The worries I had about my lips being so much bigger than those I had seen in the magazines faded into nothingness. He adored them, and with that love I continued to blossom. I soon found out that toys felt amazing, and my time with a vibrator (which belonged to his mum) I reached a new high. The dildo I purchased soon after filling my young pussy, stretching it so beautifully. After we ended I didn’t give up on my practise, I became an expert on my pleasure.

With those expertise came a magnetic effect to the men I fucked.

I used them for my pleasure, often in the most sordid ways, but it was during this time that I realised the power that my pussy had over them. Looking back I can see that they were probably using me for sex as much as I was them, but I also recall the way that just a touch of my wet folds on the dance floor of a local club, or a sniff of my sticky fingers at the bar would light the fires behind their eyes. They were a mix of long-term fuck buddies and strangers I took a fancy to, but the effect was always the same. The loss of my first love put up walls, but this was a great new game that I could play without getting hurt.

I don’t remember all of their names, but the look was more or less universal.

My pussy pride dropped after I met P. Once snared by him my confidence left me entirely, as it would do when someone points out all of the negatives, delves into your perceived fears and drip feeds them back into you. They grow then, but not in the way a beautiful flower would blossom, more like bindweed, choking and stifling all in its path. Those intoxicatingly puffy lips, enjoyed by so many before suddenly became fat lips, too big to suck on, to lust after. He would go down there and fall asleep. Why? Because they weren’t good enough for him. His interest in them piqued when he needed to empty his balls, and if I wasn’t worried he would pester until I gave in.

That isn’t the same as the fires of lust that burn, erotically entwining two (or more) souls.

When I started to take control of my life again, albeit handing over that power to sir, I was given tasks, amazing tasks. They allowed this stifled and abused woman to start to spread her wings again. I had encounters, built my confidence and met M. He had not been interested in sex for a year before we met, his libido had waned and there didn’t seem to be much hope for him. My pussy cured him, the sap suddenly rising, overflowing from an underused well. My magical powers had returned, and once more I saw the fires igniting behind lusty eyes.

I have so much pride in my pussy.

For so long I loathed my body, constantly trying to fit into a box that changed shape. My pussy was the last thing P took control of, and one of the first things I took back. For a while I sought validation through the power that this dripping cunt offered me, and over the last few years I have mellowed.

Accepting the beauty, enjoying sharing it but most of all letting that pride spread to the rest of my body.

 

Thanks to Molly for making me aware of this project.
Pussy Pride
February Photofest

 

There is no such thing as an ending, just a new beginning

Packing up

With my move imminent, and M and I back on speaking terms it was time to get ready for a new beginning.

P rolled over and accepted the move when I told him the plan, I guess he was effectively let off the hook as far as parenting went. The boys didn’t take any convincing either. They immediately liked the town and the school, the local moors and beaches were quick to capture their attention too.

I was so lucky to have my beautiful friend B on hand with sage advice.

She helped me to understand that while I loved M, if I wanted him in my life I needed to take those feelings of romantic and needy love and turn them on their head, into loving feelings of friendship. She didn’t say that it would be easy, but she showed me that it would be possible. She had experienced something similar with an incompatible ex recently and they were the best of friends.

With the boxes packed, the van filled and my keys collected M and I set off down the familiar route.

Emotionally and physically exhausted I sat next to him in the cab. He was in the driver’s seat and tunes were playing quietly through the speaker by my ear. We barely spoke on the trip, not through awkwardness or animosity, rather lost in our own thoughts. As I looked out of the window at the frozen trees as we climbed speedily through the forest I noticed the snow flakes falling and settling in small banks on the verge. In reply I began to silently weep, I don’t know why. Sadness for my lost relationship? Grief for the marriage that wasn’t meant to be? Relief at the new start? Maybe even fear?

Gathering myself before we pulled up outside my new front door I felt lighter.

Something inside me had been released on that drive, perhaps I had set myself free? And once the van was empty and the beds assembled I took M out for a carvery. A small token of my appreciation. We sat and ate far too much food, laughing together and enjoying each others company as friends.

Back in comfortable companionship. The kind that only happens when you are happy in your own self.

I was beginning to realise my value again. To not only see that I didn’t have to file down the edges of my square peg in order to fit the round hole, but to believe it independently of outside forces telling me it was so. Life had been hard at times, but I would never ever give up. The move signified a fresh start for me, a new set of choices. How would I choose to rebuild my life? A fork in the path that lay ahead.

But which way would I choose to go?

Beginning from the end.

There is no such thing as an ending, just a new beginning was first published on A Leap of Faith.

Happiness – Inside my head.

 

the-inside-my-head-tag

I spotted this at the beginning of May, and planned to join in straight away but now seems like the right time to share the happiness “Inside My Head”.

The ‘Inside My Head’ tag comes from  the discovering your happiness blog Thank you Ashleyleia for your post and open invitation to join in.

Rules:

  • Thank & tag the person that has tagged you
  • Attach the tag photo
  • Answers the ‘This or THAT questions
  • Tag a 10-20 friends.

Here are the questions:

  • How do I feel at the moment?

I am feeling bright and excited.

  • What do I need?.

An extra 5 hours in a day

  • What would make me happy right now?

I would like to be able to understand my son. He lives in his own magic world and sometimes I find things are lost in translation.

  • What is going right in my life?

A lot of things are going right at the moment. I’m getting the support I need for my son, not just from the school but healthcare professionals as well. The steps I am taking steps finding the right home for my little family seem to be in the right direction. I discovered today that I have passed my module and so I am one year closer to achieving my study aspirations.

  • What am I most grateful for? List 10 things.
  1. My children.
  2. My home.
  3. An ability to learn.
  4. My wonderful friends.
  5. Sir and his ongoing tasks.
  6. My confidence.
  7. My desire to keep going…
  8. The weather. Whatever it is I love it.
  9. Dartmoor.
  10. The sea.
  • When did I experience joy this week?

When I collected my boys after their weekend away. Those hugs are always full of joy.

  • List a small victory/success?

I took my boys to a bouldering gym today. I had originally thought I would sit and watch them doing their thing in the kids club because I don’t have the strength to climb. Well, I decided that I would give it a go. The old me who had no confidence would have stopped there but…. Not the new me. And I surprised myself, hugely!

  • What is bothering me & why?

I am very lucky to have a wonderful group of close friends, and a fantastic set of friends who are less close but no less important. It is the people who sit on the edges and pretend to be friendly but are in fact unpleasant to be around. That is what bothers me. And they bother me because I can’t do anything about them. I don’t bitch or moan or gossip, but they do. I have always been a fan of the saying Keep your side of the street clean. It has got me through a lot of moments where I wanted to air my dirty laundry. But, grrrrrr…..it is so frustrating!

  •  What are my priorities at the moment?

My number one priority is to keep my children safe and well. This includes finding a home which is right rather than a home which is just almost there. Continuing with my study and ongoing tasks rank right up there as well.

  • What do I love about my self?

I love the way that I am soft edges and yet firm in my approach. I am honest, caring and loving, but I don’t suffer fools gladly. Tenacity and a competitive spirit, which means I will keep going until I figure it out (whatever it is) to the best of my ability. I love that I am always learning, and this is such an important skill for me in all areas of my life. Also my eyes. I love my eyes.

  • Who means the world to me & why?

My children, because there is no-one else who would be able to drive me to distraction and yet give me a squidgy cuddle and the whole troubling situation is set to rights! I love them unconditionally.

I have 7 people in my most close group. They are who I call my 3am friends. Have you ever had one of those nights where the darkness is all-consuming? Since having these friends I have never needed to make that call, but I know they are there, as I am for them. This isn’t the only reason I love each and every one of them, but they know I adore them.

Sir… Sir has given me so much. For such a long time he was the candle that illuminated my world, even when he wasn’t in contact. Now he has given me the candle and I can light my own world while he is unable to do that for me. I look forward to the time I can hand it back to him. Not because I am unable to hold it for myself, but because I love the way that I can brighten his world better with both hands free.

  • If I could share one message with the world, what would it be?

Honesty is the best policy.

  • What advice would I give to my younger self?

Trust your intuition.

  • What lesson did I learn this week?.

If you don’t try you won’t know if you can. If you do try you may surprise yourself!

  • If I had all the time in the world, what would I do first?

Go for a swim in the sea.

  • Whats draining my energy?

Running over 20 miles a week and not fuelling up properly.

  • What does my ideal morning look like?

Ahhh, the boys would get ready to go when they are asked. And I would not have to stand on my doorstep waiting for them rather than losing my temper.

  • What does my ideal day look like?

Fresh air, open spaces and smiling children (just mine, my ideal day does not include looking after other people’s children!) It is likely there would be a picnic too, one that the boys helped me to make. Then two tired boys in bed on time so I can relax with some smut.

  • What makes me come alive?

Swimming in the cold sea, or spending time in wide open spaces.

  • What/who inspires me the most?

My children, Sir and the woman I used-to-be all inspire me to be the best I can be.

  • Where does my pain originate?

This post gives you a good idea of where things started.

  • What are my strengths?

I am tenacious, strong-willed and loyal.

  • What is something I’ve always wanted but too scared to get?

The fear of not being good enough has stopped me from training for and entering a marathon and triathlon. I have a plan for the marathon, and this is tied up with a task. And I have plans afoot for tri training once I am safely through the marathon.

  • What is something I would love to learn?

Danish.

  • Where would I want to live my ideal life?

I haven’t seen enough of the world to answer this one, but I know that I have never felt I have roots anywhere. Germany, Belgium, Holland and Denmark are all places that intrigue me, but that is just where I am wondering about recently.

  • Where would I like to travel in the next 5 years?

As above, I feel drawn to Germany, Holland, Belgium and Denmark. Really though, anywhere that I can find a cheap flight and accommodation which fits in with my children.

  • What can I do to take better care of myself?

I can get more sleep. I would also like to eat better.

  • What hobbies would I like to try?

Triathlon, boxing, wing walking (is that really a hobby?)

  • When have I done something that I thought I couldn’t do?

Most recently I completed two climbs at the bouldering gym, but before I went along I was convinced that I wouldn’t be able to complete half of the easiest one. Over the last 4 years my world has been made up of achieving things I didn’t believe I could do. It is amazing what you can achieve when you have the right mindset, or the right person to teach you how to sail through the fog.

  • At the end of my life, what do I want my legacy to be?

I want people to see me as someone who had a lot of love to give out. That I was a tenacious achiever who began life as a starter and flourished as a completer. Also that I was a kind person who raised wonderful children and inspired them to be the best they can be.

Here are my nominations:

Fetcetera

Be gentle with you

The Secret Aspie

Curious Clitty

From The Desk of G. Cougar Burt

Exposing 40

A little sass.

A Barbarian in Gentlemen’s Clothing

Success Inspirers World

Revenge Of Eve

Tiarra Talks

Happy view
A wonderful view taken for and sent to a very special person on the other side of the world last night. This view makes me feel alive and free!

Happiness – Inside My Head was first posted on A Leap Of Faith.

TMI Tuesday: 26th June 2018

aquatic black and white dolphin fun
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

1. Is your sex life more fantasy or reality?

If I have a fantasy I have been encouraged to turn it into a reality. So both, I think. When I say encouraged, I do mean I am often tasked with making them happen…

2. If you could hook-up with a past lover (with no repercussions or regret), who would it be and why? (No need to use real names just briefly describe the person and their relationship to you.)

I don’t have a past lover that I would have a bonus night with. They are all in the past for a reason. Besides, I have current lovers I wish I could spend more time with, so I shall say so long and thanks for all the fish.

3. You can only indulge in one of the following sex acts for the rest of your life, which would you choose to enjoy?
a. oral sex, only giving
b. 69
c. oral sex, only receiving
d. mutual masturbation

I love giving oral and I’m told my skills are excellent. I think mutual masturbation would work for me as a good orgasm (or the promise of one/two/three) makes me all the more attentive in my offering.

4. With each lover do you pay attention to what they want or do you have a repertoire that you stick to when having sex?

Different lovers require different skill sets. It very much depends on our dynamic, and also it depends on what tasks I am working on for Sir. I always pay attention to what they want, the dynamic dictates whether they get it or not 😉

5. Do you initiate sex for healthful benefits, e.g., to sleep better or relieve pain?

I sometimes masturbate for the mental health benefits… Well, if I needed an excuse that’s what I would say.

Bonus: Do you understand the clitoris?

I understand the science behind it, and love the way that mine works. But they are all so different!! So while I understand mine, I still get very confused with other womens’. No wonder men find it so challenging.

Click on the link below to see what other people have to say:

TMI Tuesday blog

 

If you are too busy to laugh, you are too busy.

Dr_L and my wax.JPG

A couple of weeks ago my good friend, Dr Lovelace was helping me with some tasks and we got the wax out for some extreme body writing.

I love the way the wax I poured on her back has dribbled down her sides, and the flashes of red and blue. What I enjoyed was her reaction to the wax hitting her skin. Like me she giggles with the sensation and I have never seen someone else behave the same way. What I enjoyed most was removing the wax crust when it was time to clean up, rubbing her skin down with a wooden blade and then some exfoliating gloves. Again, lots of laughter filled my house.

Next time we have other plans, I imagine I shall share those adventures here too.

Click on the lips to see what everyone else is up to:

Sinful Sunday

 

Returning to #SOSS

sharing is caring

Due to a family bereavement my blog has taken somewhat of a back seat over the last couple of weeks. I’ve still been here though, enjoying the words and images from around the kinky blogging community. Here is my little thank you for making the last week a bit more smiley.

My post uploaded on monday was my first visit to Masturbation Monday and Teacher’s Pet really put a smile on my face. I could quite happily have been her. This was just one of the wonderful posts this week.

Nero speaks and when he does he also puts a smile on my face. I say smile, more lascivious grin! Have a look at his Wicked Wednesday post “saturday sizzle” and see what you think.

Essence #116 is one of a series of beautiful poems from In10nse but this one made my skin tingle as while I read the words I was taken to my favourite scent of all.

And I am still working my way through the content from this months Elust-107.Next month I may well share something myself, but for now I am content enjoying all of the posts from the talented writers involved.

Finally for my picture choice. Modesty Ablaze always makes my week brighter with her #sinfulsunday additions and #boobday Friday.  seems to be no exception.

 

 

TMI Tuesday: 19th June 2018

woman carrying baby at beach during sunset
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

1. What was your biggest worry five years ago, do you still have that same worry or feel the same about it at this minute?

Five years ago I was heavily pregnant with a child I was terrified I wouldn’t be able to love or care for. My first birth was followed by 3 years of not liking my son, and this surprise pregnancy brought back a lot of those feelings of inadequacy and fear. Add onto that P had decided we were going to find out the sex of the baby, and upon discovering we were having another boy repeatedly made the points that he had a wanted a girl, he was deeply unhappy that I was growing a boy and I probably should have had that abortion he had suggested at the start of the pregnancy. (He is a real charmer)

Five years later and my fears have been proven unfounded. I didn’t experience postnatal depression second time round, and though there have been very challenging times I have removed the highly toxic P from my life (as much as possible) and found a strength of character which is proving to be more than good enough for raising two lovely little boys.

2. Do you have a positive or negative body image? What factors contribute to your self body image?
a. advertisements
b. media and social media
c. comments from others
d. introspection and analysis of self

I finally believe I have a positive body image. I see my body for what it is, and I am proud of what my body can do. Over the last five years I have gone from loathing my body to being fairly ambivalent about it. Just in the last year (from my heaviest last October to a healthier weight now) I have come to really appreciate certain parts. My breasts were the last part, with everyone else having the perfect shape or size and mine being, well, different. Following tasks from an exasperated Sir, and some great photos I have realised that when I say “all breasts are beautiful” that can include mine too. So much so that I even got fitted for a bra two weeks ago! Got to love Sir’s tasks and a spot of self-counselling.

Sadly, no amount of people telling me they like my breast, bum eyes or [insert preferred body part] has helped me in this journey. I have friends and lovers who enjoy my body, and sir has always been appreciative. But he has set tasks so that I can accept myself in my own time. And as my confidence has grown in my body so has my appreciation of it, and my willingness to look after it.

I have been a bit frustrated at the media and certain apps, one called My perfect body which allows you to shape and mould your photos to create the “perfect” shape. It makes me worry for the next generation. I may have downloaded it and had a go…

3. How confident are you as a person?
a. no confidence at all
b. confident around friends and family
c. confident at work, and in my job
d. very confident in my surroundings–work, social settings, with strangers

I have a quiet confidence which I find useful in most situations. From meeting strangers, to public speaking and with people who I know well. Strangely it is the people I know a little but not well who I feel shy around. Perhaps with strangers I can have the walls up, and those I’m close to have already found the secret hiding place for my spare door key. Those in the middle ground are, perhaps, more risky? Who knows…

4. How creative a person are you? Why?
a. not creative
b. average creativity
c. creative in some situations
d. very creative

When it comes to food I am very creative, particularly with store cupboard staples. Otherwise I rely on reflection or academia (writing) and patterns or pictures to copy (drawing and crafty things) I’m happy with my level of creativity.

5. Do you resent things being uncertain and unpredictable? Why?
a. agree
b. undecided or Don’t Know
c. disagree

I can find uncertainty challenging, but resent predictability.

Bonus: What do you wish you had invented?

LEGO TAPE!!!!!

Click the link to see what other people have to say:

TMI Tuesday blog

 

When I get down on my knees, it is not to pray.

IMG_2516

Fresh from the bath, smooth and naked, I knelt before him in the soft light of my lounge, eyes down gazing lustily at his crotch.

I heard him shift in the sofa, felt him lift a tendril of my damp hair from my neck and trace his finger under my chin, raising my face to meet his in a passionate kiss. “I can’t” he murmured, “I’m not him, I’m not Sir.”

“I know, and I don’t want you to be,” breathing into the kiss I continued “I just want to suck your cock while I kneel here.”

He clearly hadn’t needed much persuading as, breaking away from the kiss, he unbuckled his belt, lowered his fly and shifted to release his already engorged shaft. Licking my lips I lowered my face to take him fully in my mouth, shining his length with my saliva, before lazily running my hot wet tongue over his veins in just the way that I knew he enjoyed. The growl that escaped from his lips told me everything I needed to know and my already soaked pussy began to mark my soft soles as I knelt there between his legs.

“Enough,” he said, suddenly standing up.

I was jolted from my lusty haze as he stepped past me, moving to my left and stepping out of his jeans. It took me a moment to realise that he was sliding his belt from the loops as he tidied his jeans away. There was a dark spark in his already dark brown eyes, and he gently moved me from kneeling beside the sofa to leaning forward over the cushion. “This is what you need N, I hope you’re ready,” and the first blow of his warm leather belt landed across my right cheek followed moments later by a second, this time on my left cheek. The immediate sting followed by a spreading warmth was exactly what I needed, though I hadn’t realised, and M settled into a rhythm. I could feel every millimetre of the strikes as they turned my milky white flesh a hot red.

Looking over my shoulder I could see the fire in his eyes as he embraced the savage within. 

Every swipe of the belt make my skin sting and tingle. Each blow led to more pleasure building across my skin. Twenty on each side was his limit, and he placed his weapon down next to my face as he moved behind me. On his knees behind me he buried his face between my hot cheeks, tongue desperately seeking my arousal which was leaking from between my lips and over my swollen clitoris. A hand on each cheek, kneading my tender flesh while he lapped at my sweet juices, before sliding his fingers into me and stretching my snatch wide so that he could get a proper taste. As he continued to torment my holes with his tongue and fingers I came to a shuddering climax which knocked the strength from me and left my body in a soft, trembling heap on the cushions.

“Oh no, you’re not done yet” came his tense response, “back on your knees again.”

And he helped me turn to my left, and get back onto my knees. With his hard shaft bobbing around in front of my glazed eyes I ran my tongue around his bulbous head once more. A short moan escaped his lips again as he fisted his hand in my hair, forcing my head back and my mouth fell open. As my lips parted he drove his cock into my mouth, into my throat, and as I gagged and spluttered he continued to drive into me, seeking his own release. With each stroke of his pleasure more of mine dripped from my hypersensitive cleft and I spread it over my clit and played myself to a second orgasm matching his eruption, his sticky seed spilling down my throat as I convulsed once more.

As his legs lost strength he folded down onto the sofa, pulling me up into his arms where I drifted into an untroubled sleep. 

Click here to see what other people are writing.

Masturbation-Monday-badge-1-580x580.png

TMI Tuesday: 12th June 2018

Ice-Cream-Maker-Luxury-Vanilla-Ice-Cream (2)

1. If you were an ice-cream flavor, what would you be and why?

I would be lemon meringue. I may present as vanilla, but I am far from it, and that is a wonderful surprise. When you first take the lid off the tub it looks very  ordinary, but take a scoop and you start to see the swirls of lemon. Taste me, those yellow streaks are a little bit tart alongside the smooth creamy ice-cream. And then there is the hidden texture of meringue.

2. What are the best sexy skills you bring to a sexual relationship?

I am adventurous, unshockable and love to push myself to try new things and perfect old things.

3. What is the single largest problem causing you angst in your romantic relationship (current or most recent relationship)?

I don’t know that there is angst in my life at the moment. I guess I have to say the tasks I am set where I have to decide what to do “to please him” make me feel most anxious.

4. What is the best part about being in a relationship with you?

ME!

5. What is the biggest misconception that people have about you?

Still waters run deep with me, and the vanilla mask that is visible to the world is not the real me. I am usually seen as sweet and innocent, even among the local kink community. But once people become trusted they see that I am very much the opposite. One friend has just fallen off her chair at the thought of how family see me… but she has been on the receiving end of my sadistic giggle.

I have just been reminded that people sometimes see me as weak. Until recently I believed that too, and yet it couldn’t be further from the truth. Again, still waters run deep, and that strength isn’t on display for all to see, but it is there!

Bonus:  When you look at old photos of yourself, do you like what you see?

I enjoy looking at me through the times of my life. Some pictures I enjoy more than others, but I love reflecting on my life and pictures help with that. When I look at these pictures (below) what is not to like?

 

TMI Tuesday blog

 

Sinfully spread for sinful sunday

Originally posted here.

I’m actually quite fond of my pussy. I like the way that I can drive myself insane with touch. I also like the way that it can send men a little bit crazy…

When Sir was learning my body through physical contact and video clips there was also a large amount of self discovery occurring.

Watching porn as a youngster I always worried that my voluptuous lips were hideous, not helped by the regular taunts from P about my “fat fanny.” It’s amazing what a little self acceptance, and self love can do. And I do love this part of my self.

Regularly!!

Click the lips to see what everyone else is up to.

Sinful Sunday

 

Soul is to be found in the vicinity of taboo.

spit

As I have said M wasn’t into D/s and power exchange, but he was fairly kinky.

There were a few things that he introduced to me which I absolutely loved.The first time he spit in my face was a surprise. Not because he had done it, I had known it was coming, but because of how much I enjoyed it. He always said that he would just get lost in my eyes, the brilliant sparkly blue gateways to my soul and it felt so depraved to have him gaze into them and, while making full use of my pussy, spit into those eyes, forcing them to close… This expansion of my kinks coincided with my youngest discovering he could spit. I have always prided myself on being a good mum, and fair. Now I was having to be hypocritical and tell him off for something that I happily enjoyed with M.

This wasn’t the only thing that I would have to teach my children not to do while embracing as part of my sex life. 

But how did I come round to enjoying the spit? It seems so degrading on the face of it, so disgusting and unloving. I had always found mouths a bit gross, and that included tongues and spit, but as with all things it is the context with which you engage in it. Had he just come up to me and flobbed in my eye I probably would have been appalled and sent him packing with his tail between his legs, but as it was we had discussed why I didn’t like mouths particularly, and over time he got me to enjoy morning breath kisses. For someone who loves ass-to-mouth it may seem strange that morning breath kisses could seem so taboo, but we are shaped by other peoples ideals as children and my mum was very much about not poking out tongues or spitting. (I dare say Ass-to-mouth would have been a big no-no, but she has never witnessed me doing that!!)

With the confidence that enjoying new experiences brings I was soon tempted to try something else that felt so very wrong…. 

My nose buried in his testicles and my tongue lapping at his anus I had an idea. Pulling back I looked at the surprise and mild disappointment on his face, then I got a load of saliva together and spat on his hole…before putting my head back down and pressing my tongue into him deeper than before. The moans that escaped him were exquisite and so arousing. The next time I spat on him he was on all fours, and I had his exposed hole in full view. His enjoyment of receiving the spit and subsequent rimming was evident when he exploded all over his bedding. I’ve never been one to waste cum, so I sucked his mess from the mattress. Again, how can it be so taboo to spit yet I think nothing of hoovering up a puddle of semen?

With his reaction to my actions I wondered what his reaction to his own spit would be like.

The next time we were together we had a very vanilla coming together. It had been a while and I had not had release so I was keen to have a second round. Laying there I spread my legs wide as he knelt between them, reached down and using my fingers I stretched my folds wide apart. As I was about to say “spit on me” I noticed his flaccid cock coming back to life. I had never considered that my spread hole would have this effect. Sir and MrN had been keen to see me continue with stretching while I was under their guidance but it was always in my mind that they would be thinking of what they could put in there, not at what the gaping hole looked like. M’s reaction caused a shift in my thoughts there… Still, I asked him to spit on me and put himself to good use, which he did twice more that evening, and we both fell asleep with daft grins.

We talked in detail about his instant raging erection. It had been as much of a surprise to him as me.

From this point it was only a short hop to him using my face, and I was very happy to experience it with him. Over this period of exploration we experimented with my gaping pussy and both of our spitting in a variety of ways. It turned out that I liked him spitting anywhere on me, but I only felt comfortable doing so on his genitals. I didn’t enjoy using his face, it just didn’t feel right to me. Maybe that is my submissive nature (using my spit for lubricant but not humiliation) or maybe it was the remnants of a slightly conservative upbringing? Either way I had learnt a lot about this new form of play with M and I was very grateful to him for being dirty and to myself for having a sense of adventure.

The look on his face at my gaping pussy will stay with me for a very long time though, and I am also pleased that he enjoyed taking pictures of it for me…

gape

TMI Tuesday: 5th June 2018

black and white forest grass monochrome
Photo by David Bartus on Pexels.com

What kind of person are you?

1. Are you addicted to any social media (twitter, instagram, snapchat, etc.)?

I have accounts on a lot of social media sites, but I find it hard to keep up with everything so I just dip in and out.

2. You know a secret about someone. What do you do with that information?
a. I keep it to yourself
b. I tell my best friend
c. I wait until they hurt me and use it as ammunition
d. I tell everyone I can, I don’t mean to, I just cannot keep a secret

I keep it to myself. I love knowing things that other people don’t know. If it isn’t my secret to share and I tell people then the trust is broken and no-one will tell me secrets again!

3. You see someone breaking the rules at work, what do you do?
a. Pretend not to see what is going on
b. Inform upper management
c. Advise the co-worker that their actions are frowned upon and can lead to job loss
d. Tell everyone else in the office what you saw

I would firstly talk to them and show them the correct way of doing things, just in case they don’t know what the correct procedure is. If that isn’t successful then I would talk to my line manager.

4. A friend has a new hairstyle that is un-becoming, and not really age-appropriate on them. They ask you how they look. What is your reply?
a. You look just fine.
b. You look much better this way.
c. OMG, you look a bit ridiculous.
d. *Silence*

I am known for being direct. Honesty is the best policy and all that. However, I have learnt a little tact over the last few years and none of these responses fits with what I would say. The Shit Sandwich is a tried and tested way for me to tell people they look awful while not making them feel bad about themself.

5. How helpful are you at home? 
a. I come home and immediately veg out on the couch/bed.
b. I cook and clean a few times a week.
c. I am extremely helpful.
d. I do what I am asked and nothing more.

As the only adult if I don’t do it then it doesn’t get done.

Bonus: In your opinion, what is the best city in the world? Why?

I am not nearly well travelled enough to answer this question with a well considered answer, but I love Germany and have a strong desire to disappear in the Black Forest so I think Stuttgart would be a great start.

I love Bruges too.

And Berlin.

And Durban.

And Pattaya

And….

No, it’s just not happening, I need to go and see the world.

Click below to see what other people are up to.

TMI Tuesday blog

 

A work in progress, but I can guarantee… I’m worth it.

DSC_4156-01

My breasts in the spotlight.

Underneath a bold exterior lies a fragile confidence. My breasts come to the back of the line for that confidence for so many reasons but… Sir is encouraging me to see things differently, a recent blip triggered a very challenging task…

It must be a challenge for him to see me take the occasional step back but I am a work in progress. 

Aren’t we all?

I adore the shape of my breast and nipple in this picture. 

Photo by Urbstract Photography

Sinful Sunday

 

Third time’s the charm: #SOSS

sharing is caring

I have had a really manic week for so many reasons, but have managed to keep half an eye on my blog and the wonderful posts that pop up in my reader. 

I had been a little worried about Curious Clitty, she had been a very regular writer and I missed her posts. This week she made a return with a post which made me stop and think. I think we are all evolving constantly, and while I am entirely submissive with Sir in other parts of my life I can very much identify with CC’s words.

In TMI Tuesday this week the first question was about feminization. It isn’t something that works for me, but I do enjoy learning what makes other people tick and Porn Girl must have read my mind! She sheds some light onto what she enjoys about it, and although I never thought there was anything wrong with it I can now appreciate feminization from a different perspective.

Dayliacatt is a blog that I like to keep up with and yesterday she did not disappoint. I loved the pictures, and reading the post I could almost feel the lesson being learned!

I like to read poetry as well, and sometimes get a little emotional if it hits home. I love time spent in my own company, and with groups of friends, but it has been a long time since I have felt lonely in a way that hurts my soul. For me Scarlett A. Rhiannon sums it up perfectly, and I may have had wet eyes after reading.

This image  from submiss34f really captured my attention. She has some other wonderful images too, I recommend anyone to pop over and give her a peek.

Proudly powered by WordPress | Theme: Baskerville 2 by Anders Noren.

Up ↑