What do you complain about the most?
I don’t know if this happens across the board, but in the kink scene a lot of people see you like a certain kink and they approach you as if you want to do that with them. Have you heard anyone complain about being treated as a “kink dispenser“? Well, it is a thing, and it is pretty grotty.
It is one thing when a friend approaches you with a request. You have history with them, know each other well enough that a gentle please can feel quite flattering. I do it, it’s a fundamental of my closer friendships. The less well you know someone, the less welcome the ask. And when it is complete strangers approaching you on the internet, when they’ve seen something in your photos and decide you’ll do it with them. Their own personal kink dispenser. That is what I like to complain about.
Of course, I don’t like to merely complain. Why would I? What exactly is the point in complaining other than to avoid resolving the problem? (And to vent, we all need to do that sometimes.) People, however, are endlessly fascinating. And so, when I have the spoons, I don’t merely block and delete. I ask them questions. Not to humiliate them – as some of them may well be into that and what am I not?
That’s right, I’m not a kink dispenser!
I’m a curious cat, and these wallies are balls of string.,
I like to find out more about why they thought I would want to fuck their arse with my strap on? How powerful they think my stream is given they are 200 miles away and they want me to pee on them? What made them think I would enjoy humiliating them, or being humiliated by them? (For the record, I’m not easy to humiliate which, naturally, they’d know if they took time to get to know me first.)
As I say, they’re endlessly fascinating. Until my research is complete, or until they realise what a silly boy (and this is generally the maturity level and gender of the person who approaches me as their own personal kink dispenser.)
While they do annoy and irritate, I couldn’t complain too deeply. I engage with them willingly – and I assume they consent to my line of questioning because they enter my inbox. Not only do I actively engage with them, I also draw inspiration from them. I’m not a kink dispenser, nor am I Domme. An occasional top with friends, but not a Dominant. Just a masochist who likes to share. And a writer who likes to draw inspiration from random places.
If one of these silly boys sparks my creativity, either directly or taking the circuitous route from kink-dispenser demands-to-readable-smut, who am I to complain?
The photo at the top was made from a collection of inspirational interactions.
Self Tie Tuesday has a few 30-day prompt lists – which resulted in me using a 15ft piece of rope. Coco’s private group had a theme “try something new”, which really got me scratching my noggin. Until I had four men in quick succession ask me to fuck their arse. One close friend, one arms length friend and two absolute strangers. I was inspired to write some smut (first draft complete, final version to follow soon) and tie myself a thigh harness.
My preference, of course, is to make the most of these wallies. Questioning uses far less energy than getting upset! This is just my way. And my curiosity isn’t always going to get the better of me. Yes, my block list is long. But until the inspiration from the last batch runs dry, I will keep adding to my block list with gusto.
Returning for another year, welcome to my fifth February PhotoFest effort. If you would like, follow the links to explore past years:
From the story of how the barefoot sub became the woman she is today, to toy reviews, with a hefty dose of contemplation, a sprinkling of erotica and a LOT of nudity in between, you can be sure to find something to tickle your fancy at A Leap Of Faith.