2023 – The Year That Was

When I saw the Jetpack prompt questioning if my life today looks how I pictured it a year ago, I couldn’t help but snort at 2023. It’s been an odd one. Anyway, I popped off to my shared folder with 1001011. I knew we had tied in December last year, and was delighted to see the selection of photos including the one above. (As well as this one, and this one!)

It is coming up to the time to write my review of blogging in 2023. Most viewed posts, my favourite pictures, areas I have stretched myself in this corner of the internet. My little digital world. But this is only one part of life, a place to document the bigger picture. And as ever the story behind the blog – which I haven’t progressed with particularly this year – is how I became the woman I am today. And the last year has been a fresh learning curve.

There are so many stories yet to come. Joyful silliness and heart ache, loss and desire, fear and excitement, chaos and calm. But this time last year I was blissfully unaware of all that was to come.

My tee is from Kinkz Clothing. Ordered at LAM (London Alternative Market) in August 2022, on my way to Paris. (For my dirty weekend with myself.) It’s emblazoned with Single, Taken or Owned. And at that time I was owned by S. My focus, my safe harbour, the man I willingly stretched myself for repeatedly. He motivated and encouraged my growth, with each and every contact. As far as I was concerned, I would have been his forever. Living my life in the best way I knew how, with him at the helm. Pushing me along when we both had availability, but an ever present force.

Imagine my surprise when March came along and I realised something needed to change.

I was utterly devastated, but the knowledge that I was doing the right thing kept me strong. He agreed that my needs had shifted, released me. So that was three months into the year, my freedom completely restored. My sex life, kink life, dress code entirely my choice.

With sexual freedom came… not a lot of action. The play that I’d enjoyed so much within my tasks held no attraction just for me without that layer of submission for Him. I’ve not been celibate this year, but considering I’ve had no restrictions my activity level has reduced significantly. Attraction has been there, but need not so much. Outside of play within the short dynamic with D I’ve had partnered sex once.

Orgasm-a-bility tailed off in the summer.

Which was odd in itself. But that’s OK, pleasure is the measure, and a climax doesn’t dictate how much I enjoy a scene. Plus, I figured it out and am firing on all cylinders again now.

In fact, figuring out a lot of things has led to me being back almost where I started, this time last year. With one major difference. There is an S missing from the picture. However, he taught me well. Showed me that I have the skills and ability to be my own Sir. And in rediscovering myself I am feeling lighter again. I know that this has made friends happy, to see me topping myself – doing me, for me, by me. (Inspired by other fabulous people I’ve met through 2023.)

There have been more than a few lessons over 2023, and I have got exciting plans for next year. But for now…?

Right now I’m content. Calm, relaxed, peaceful.

Considering the 2023 has been more than a little rubbish across the board, for so many in my world, I can’t help but be OK with the disappearing year. I may have lost S this year, but I found something else which is just as important. Or maybe more. I’ve found I can treat myself with respect even when I have the freedom not to.

And if that’s not something to make me go Mmmmm then I don’t know what is.

Click the button above to see what everyone else is up to for Mmm Mondays Meme this week. Or follow this trail to my very own Mmm Mondays Meme archives.