Have you ever wondered what it’s like to be impaled on a metal dildo. Not just any one though… an 18cm, hand-turned and beautifully ridged metal pole? No? Just me then… Well, my dreams came true when the lovely Alison, from Higher Desire, sent me one to trial for her. You may remember my floral knickers review? Given how much I adore these, you can probably imagine my excitement at having one of her hand crafted toys to play with too!
When the postman delivered this hefty delight, I had forgotten that it was coming and was somewhat taken by surprise! A small, padded and unassuming package was placed in my hand and the weight was out of this world. I knew it would be a weighty lump but having forgotten what was coming it was a shock!
True to the green credentials over at higher desire, the packaging was plastic free, including the padding which was recycled paper. (I only discovered this when I ripped the packet up for recycling and was showered with shredded paper!) There was a handwritten note inside suggesting that it should be indestructible…
Well, that sounded like a challenge!
Once I’d washed it and got myself nice an relaxed I thought I’d go in for a play. If the first thing I noticed about it was the weight, a whopping 498g, the next was the size. Now, the toy has an 8cm circumference. As a bit of a size queen I thought this would be a problem. However, I was very wrong. Welcoming the dildo into my folds, I could feel it’s trajectory keenly inside. With both ends being lathed differently, the sensations change depending which way round you thrust!
The ridges worked against my insides, and each muscle was forced to work hard in the face of a weighty assault. (I say this in the best way as, because it is an entirely manual device, I was in full control of where and when it pummelled my insides. And what about those ridges? Well, I’m delighted to tell you that they stimulated my G-spot and caused a flood of pleasure.
In all honesty, I hadn’t been expecting to gush.
Normally this would happen with a textured dildo, but being absolutely relaxed is the key for ensuring full flow. Not only is this one heavy and requiring my muscles to be working extra hard, it also maintains it’s temperature. Room temperature when I was testing this one was around 18 degrees, which is significantly colder than body temperature. Being solid stainless steel, the adaptation to my internal heat wasn’t rapid. I’d not expected such a delay, but have been a fan of temperature play for a long time. The cool, thrusting steel was a joy, in all honesty. And one I revisited with a zoom call some weeks later. CC seemed to enjoy my reaction to the sensation- though perhaps she just enjoyed my reactions in general?
Further temperature testing was required!
My temperature explorations have been with glass toys. (And grapes… but that’s probably a story for another day?) Using the same method to cool or warm the toy before use, I had a hot bowl and a cold bowl. I enjoy the extremes, but also have zero desire to burn myself- either with heat or ice. And so I took it slowly. A little too slowly to start with. The metal that adjusted to my internal temperature so slowly, did the same with the hot water. I started with body temperature. Then another top up of hot water meant it was just warmer than me. A final burst saw it getting above what I could manage and plunging into the cold water. Finally satisfied that it was just right, I took up the baton and pressed on.
Or perhaps that should say “in”?
I have always found glass toys adjust to my internal temperature fairly quickly, and lose their interest (for this kind of play, anyway) Being impaled on a metal dildo has shown me the quick temperature change is a thing of the past. Now I just need a second one, so I can have one hot and one cold to interchange at will. Where the cold made my muscles clench and shiver with excitement, the heat got straight to work on my core. With the longevity of the temperature difference my body flowed over and around the smooth, hand-turned ridged body. Both options worked for me.
One last thing I was able to try was the violet wand.
Wondering what sensation would carry through the metal wand. While it did provide an earth for the charge that flies from the wand, there is no sensation discharged into my depths. Saying that, I don’t find discomfort in the Violet Wand very often so perhaps this wasn’t a fair trial. What I would love to do is use it with e-stim, as this is my absolute favourite. However, I’m still saving my pennies for the kit I would like to invest in so this test will need to wait. (I shall update the review when I have the opportunity)
As it is made of stainless steel, I’m pleased (if unsurprised) to report that it hasn’t become tarnished over the course of my explorations the last few months. Despite rigorous attempts to prove Alison wrong, this really does seem an indestructible piece of kit.
And after you’ve been impaled on this metal dildo… What then?
It is completely body safe and super easy to clean. I’ve put it through the dishwasher, hand-washed in soap and washing up liquid, used baby wipes, a scouring pad, sponge and flannel. It maybe hand-turned but it is wonderfully smooth. There are no nooks or crannies waiting to house rogue germs. However, there is the faintest texture, so it doesn’t become slippery when wet. It isn’t draggy against the flesh, but there is just enough grip to give purchase. Perfect because, as I discovered, this does have the ability to bring forward a flood. However, if you are switching ends during play I would recommend having a cloth available to dry it off. Purely because it is heavy and if it does slip, something might get damaged!
For me, this is definitely going to be a repeat offender. While the weight may put some people off, I found that it was more than manageable due to the size. Once in position my internals did all of the hard work- and reaped the benefits of their efforts.
The metal dildo was sent to me in exchange for a fair and honest review. No affiliate links have been used in this post. There is one request from Alison though. She wants to know what other words you use for dildo's! Please do add your ideas in the comments below!
Have you enjoyed reading about how I was impaled on a metal dildo? You might enjoy this review too: An Eden Flicker Play Date