Getting off is food for thought.

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Getting off in capable hands.

Do you remember your first orgasm? How old were you? Tell us about it.

My first orgasm happened while I sat on my brothers bedroom floor (he wasn’t there) I could tell you about it again, or I could send you back here to the beginning and show you the start of my depravity…

What is your favourite way to reach/be brought to a climax? 

So many wonderful ways to reach orgasm… Which one to choose?? To be bound in a predicament, stuffed full and stretched, blindfolded and tormented with vibrations and electricity. All while having to ask for permission from the wonderful man who is engulfing me in these sensations, each and every time I come up to the crest of orgasm is beautiful, and I would think that I would give my all for that kind of release. However… there is something even more beautiful than this. An orgasm through an intense impact scene is the rarest and most beautiful way for me to reach climax. Not being brought to orgasm through other stimulation while being beaten, no. That moment when my brain can no longer process those sensations which are swimming over my skin; when the rhythm and my breathing are in sync and I am floating on a high of endorphins; when my brain can no longer keep up and the pleasure sweeps over me like a sunrise after the long cold night. Yes. That is my favourite way of getting off.

And it is such a rare treat. I can’t do it to myself, and there are very few people I would trust to take me there….

What is the easiest/fastest way for you to have an orgasm? How long does it normally take you?

The fastest way for me to reach orgasm is by adding in the power exchange. Playing alone I can ask thin air for permission, with no response that drives me wild. (If you fancy trying this I recommend a timer as the permission giver. Otherwise there is the distinct possibility of running out of time and being left frustrated and unfulfilled. Or perhaps that is part of the fun!) It usually takes around 17 minutes to achieve my first orgasm, and after that they come thick and fast.

How many times a week do you try to reach orgasm? Typically, how often do you manage to get off?

Ha!! I love this question. I try to make time for at least one play session a week with my primary play partner Doxy.. Sometimes I manage more alone time than others. When I do get some time to myself I tend to go a little nuts and find release 2, 3, 6, 12 times…. I often find myself at the school gate with flushed cheeks and a cheesy grin because I have cut the timings a little fine.

Have you ever had an orgasm at the same time as your partner? Who normally comes first?

It is very rare for me to orgasm through penetration and so the opportunity to orgasm at the same time as a partner is highly unlikely. However, there have been times when my partner at the time and myself have collapsed into a sweaty sticky mess, panting and wrapped u in each other. As to who normally comes first? That depends very much on the type of lover. Sir took great pride in his ability to make me orgasm, P wasn’t overly interested in my pleasure and M and I enjoyed each other either way around.

Have you ever faked an orgasm? What were the reasons/circumstances that led you to fake it?

A faked orgasm is something I have never understood. I know a lot of people are happy with it, but I couldn’t pretend to climax when I haven’t. For me sex doesn’t need to end in climax, and if it isn’t going to I would rather be open about that. Faking would feel like a lie and ruin the experience for me.

#F4TFriday
February Photofest

 

Getting off is food for thought was first published on A Leap Of Faith.

Not that I need a reason… #7

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Along with music driving is one of the great pleasures of life for me. (The list of pleasures is long though) Narrowing down the options to just one was always going to be hard, but I think Tracy Chapman and Eric Clapton, with Give Me One Reason has the cool funky charm to calm me in the most assertive of driving moments, while giving me something to sing along to when the coast is clear.

I love music and am always on the lookout for something new to listen to, so I hope the 30-Day Song Challenge inspires some of you to share.

Life shrinks or expands, in proportion to one’s courage

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Up until this point my experiences had all been private.

My online presence could only be described as “lurking.” Now though I had decided to get out and about to events when I was available. My visit to the couple had been planned as a step towards this goal, and now that I knew the couple hosting a club night I felt I really wanted to attend. It was still a huge step so I found a sunday afternoon event which looked friendly. Kink and Cake was held at Studio Onyx and looked lively. Having a look at the profiles of the others listed as going I decided that I would send some messages in advance. The lady from the couple, MsD, was going to be there, and I spotted another profile where the owner had just posted a writing about his first experiences of events, making friends and finding his fit. He put some things that helped him in meeting new people, including this:

Here’s another tip… Well….I think it rings true at least… Be interesting, learn an oddball skill, find something you like and get better at it, I make whips, they aren’t too bad and I’m getting better at it and with them, but they make a great conversation starter as does so many other things!

I may not be able to make whips but I sure as hell can bake so I left a little comment thanking him for the writing and that I was going to take my own conversation starter in the form of cake. He replied later with encouragement to attend, recommending that I just be myself and people will respect that.

The next day I had a private message from him.

He had noticed that my first event would be Kink and Cake, that he would be going and that he was looking forward to meeting me. It was a friendly crowd, and they had welcomed him with open arms. All I had to do now was ask myself those two questions:

  1. Is it safe?
  2. Do I want to?

The answer to both was YES so now all I had to do was be brave. That sunday came round quickly, and I made a raspberry cake where the topping was made of icing sugar and raspberries blitzed together. With the ripeness of the fruit the icing was almost fluorescent pink.

If I had wanted to spark up conversation this was certainly one way to do it!

I walked in to the venue and popped my cake down on the table, suddenly there was a group of people cooing at the cake and chattering with me. The hosts made me welcome and introduced me to some people, MsD came downstairs from the playspace and introduced me to her slave SL (he quickly snaffled the first of his three slices of cake) and then the whip-maker Trautaruan (Tr) arrived with his play partner CC. There were so many people there, and everyone made me feel welcome. I chatted half of the afternoon away and ended up deep in conversation with a male sub (MT) and a foot fetishist (LTM) about bastinado. MT quite fancied learning a little more in his switch side and LTM had the skills, equipment and enthusiasm.

I had the feet so off we went upstairs, a merry trio.

LTM had a little rubber paddle and a pin wheel, and after I reclined fully clothed on a bench with my feet in some stirrups he took my right foot, showing MT how and where to hit me. They swapped back and forth with the paddle and as MT struck my left foot LTM would run the pinwheel over my right sole, stretching my toes back. They were working on my feet for what felt like half an hour and the pleasure was quite something, my body was responding in the usual way with pleasure tingles spreading like fireworks up my legs… Only this time the effort on my soles was relentless, the sensations were overwhelming and the tingles joined at my apex causing a totally unexpected orgasm.

An orgasm with no genital stimulation… I thought that was the stuff of legend….

The orgasm was a surprise and the fact that I had been fully clothed and not in a sexual situation threw me completely, would I be able to accept that I had reached orgasm through pain? I didn’t know, but at that point I decided not to think about it as it was too much of a challenge. I went back to socializing and chatting, the orgasm was a sign that I was very comfortable in the company of these new people. I had always believed I was socially inept, and during my marriage had been so isolated that I hadn’t been able to challenge myself to become confident in myself. Sir had worked hard to show me that I had every right to be confident and now, in his absence, I was able to reap the rewards of his labour. I even made plans to meet up with a couple of them at the Fetish club a couple of weeks later, and many of the people I met that day have become firm friends.

I drove home and went to the beach, where I admired my puffy soles and soaked up the early evening sunshine.

I had done it!

I had gone to my first munch, I had pushed myself hard and come out stronger. 

Life shrinks or expands, in proportion to one’s courage was first published on A Leap of Faith.

 

My only requirement for life is that I don’t get stuck in a rut.

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Though there was sadness at not being owned, I understood and accepted the turn of events.

If wanted to make the most of my life and not be stuck at home wallowing in the what ifs I had to get going. I knew that I wasn’t looking for a new dominant, I wasn’t ready for that, but I did want to get out and meet new people, make friends with fellow kinksters who I would be able to explore with. There were events on Fetlife which interested me, but I was shy of going along on my own. I had no idea what others on the local scene would be like, or how they would react to a new female submissive entering their midst. Hindsight is a wonderful thing….

I spent a little time getting to know people on Fetlife. 

One of the first people I had been interested by was a rigger and photographer about an hours drive from me. I had liked some of his pictures, and we had been in vague contact since. He and his wife were quite well-known in their local community and were in the process of relaunching a fetish event local to them. I sent the event page a message asking about it, and wondering how safe it would be for a single submissive woman to attend on her own. As I knew no-one I was rightly nervous. I received a reply very quickly and after a little back and forth we arranged that I would go to meet the pair of them one sunday afternoon. My visit to their home would be sandwiched between her slave cleaning her home, and her son being dropped off mid afternoon.

I was nervous about meeting this couple, even though it was just for tea and a chat.

I needn’t have been though. They were so welcoming, and they made an excellent cup of tea….or should I say truth serum! As we chattered away, sharing kinky ideas and experiences, I may have let slip a few things that would bite me. She needed to go shopping, but suggested he and I have a play, as we were both getting along well. Nothing too intense, just a little fun. I thought that sounded great, and with time on my side we ran through my limits. I took my clothes off while he got some bits and pieces together, and before I knew it I was blindfolded, hooded, collared and handcuffed. Over the next hour or so, I was brought to within a moment of orgasm a number of times (NEVER mention to A Dom/me couple that you fancy more orgasm denial), made to gag and drool like a good girl, and teased with the taste of him on my lips…

Then things took a different turn

While I was seated on my bottom I was released from the cuffs, gag and collar. The jangling of metal, the snap of it around my wrists, then neck, and finally ankles…I was stuck…utterly stuck… His voice, so full of praise just minutes earlier, commanding me to roll onto all fours.

 

Images from Hogtied.com to show the device.

I’m not sure who thought it was funnier, me or Him, but I wish there had been a camera…so undignified…but entertaining those with whom I play is a thrill, and it was so much fun! A moment that will stay with me for a long time to come. Then the serious stuff came. It was time for my feet and cheeks to receive some attention. While my feet turned to tingling blocks on the ends of my legs, and my bottom started to sing with the whip, I heard another woman’s laugh, and I knew that the Mistress of the house was home, and approved of my predicament. And the biting of my soles after he had thrashed then, new realms of pleasure to explore.

How had I never known my feet were an erogenous zone, and each and every time they are battered and bruised it becomes clearer that this is the case…

When asked how I felt in that moment, bound and beaten, with my face crushed into the carpet, I responded ‘liberated.‘ I find the freedom to be me, just me, when I’m at my most vulnerable. It was such a pleasure to meet this couple, and I don’t believe I have ever tasted such a delicious cup of tea as the one I had while trembling on their comfy chair, floating back to earth through the post-play haze. With Sir and my other experiences up until this point, I had accepted that my kinks were a part of me. I felt that now I would be learning where I fit into the world of kinks.

My world was changing, and I wasn’t going to let myself get stuck again.

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Nothing is more powerful than an idea whose time has come.

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Sir had been called in to attend a meeting not far from me, so K and I were invited to join him the evening before.

When he emailed us in the morning, I responded promptly and chattered to K via text but, unknown to me, she didn’t respond to him. I received an email later in the day asking if she had changed her mind as sir hadn’t heard from her to confirm. I reassured him that I was due to be at hers at 6pm, and we would be there in plenty of time. Our instructions for the start were the same as I was used to. This time there would be two blindfolds waiting, one each. We were definitely not allowed to draw attention to ourselves as we walked through reception! He emailed shortly after 6 to confirm the room number and K, who was testing my patience by being predictably tardy, replied that we were getting our stuff together and would soon be on our way.

By the time we finally got on the road I was a little bit frazzled.

In fairness to K she was nervous, and chattered away as we drank our cups of tea on the drive towards the hotel, a very familiar route in my kink life as well as my personal and professional ones. I was able to talk through her jiggling nerves with her, explaining what my experiences had been and what my expectations of the evening would be. I had to remind myself that this was her first experience of BDSM, and that it was a good thing that she was asking questions. Her chatter turned to her swinging experiences and I was able to just listen, and run through my thoughts as I drove. When I parked we nipped to the restaurant toilets to freshen up, and I put my heels on, then we were good to go.

The room was the first door you arrived at after walking through reception.

It was open, as always, and we walked through into the darkened room which smelt so familiar. Putting my bag of toys down next to me (as instructed) I handed K her blindfold and put mine on, and encouraged her to settle. My heart racing. Then he was there, greeting us, running his hands over my body and claiming me back. Today there was no collar for me, its absence weighed more than the thick leather band itself. First we were tied together, and then encouraged to explore each other. Then he used a wand on each of us, his Hitachi on K and the electro wand on me. Sadly the vibrations and static didn’t produce the intensity required to take me over the edge, and when he told me I was to be quiet with each orgasm I told him that the wand wasn’t getting me close, the vibrations weren’t going deep enough.

I had brought the doxy, and he switched over to that… which worked a treat.

And then I came repeatedly. Although she hadn’t been expecting it K experienced orgasms too, and was quite vocal. I understood why I had to be quiet… Two moaning ladies would attract undue attention. And when he swapped back to the electro wand it was even more fun trying to keep the noise down. That evening I was exposed to a number of firsts. Reading through my review for the evening I can see the disappointment I felt. During a scene he would always ask “Are you bored yet?” and the answer would always be a resounding no. This night he didn’t ask me that question, and it is the only night I would have said yes.

There were bits that I really enjoyed, and I was really surprised about them.

Such as when K and I were sharing his cock with our mouths, kneeling either side of him. I loved that. And when he showered us with his cum at the end, feeling those drops fall on my body and my face is engraved in my memory. Understandably there was no impact play due to the proximity to reception, but when we were bent over the bed, side by side and tied at the ankle, I could have wandered off and made a cup of tea. And when K and I were in a 69 (I have never been a fan of that position) I may as well have not been there while he took her from behind. We spoke about this afterwards and he told me that some Dominants would have had me sit on a chair and watch them use another woman but he didn’t see me ever not being involved. It was a form of humiliation. Something that I still don’t fully understand.

What surprised me was how I felt about sharing him. Not that he was mine to share.

I had worried that I would feel lacking in some way, or jealous at his attentions being laid elsewhere. There was none of that, for hich I am extremely proud. I felt left out, but never not good enough. And though there were parts which I wasn’t enamoured with, there were many parts which I did love. I have always felt selfish because of my mixed feelings about that night when I know full well that scenes with sir would sometimes not be about my needs, and given the meeting he had looming over him the following day… Speaking to him about it just a few weeks ago it turns out that he was a little disappointed with the evening too. Not being able to include impact play for me, us having to be civilised because K was more about the swinging than the kink and he didn’t want to scare her, and me not being as free in my sexuality to fully embrace it. I am looking forward to revisiting this scenario at some point, and seeing what we have both learnt from that experience and over the (almost) two years between then and now.

This was my first time with Sir of my expectations not matching the experience. Not bad for a journey of almost 2 years…

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To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.

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It was with great anticipation that I stood outside his room on a wet and windy January evening.

My company had been requested earlier in the day, and K had agreed to look after my children so that I could go out to visit Sir. It would cost me having her daughter to stay the following weekend, but by this point I was brave enough to look after children that were not my own! And I really, really wanted to see Sir…

I say “see Sir” with my tongue firmly in my cheek. 

Our time apart meant that I would be wearing the blindfold which would be waiting for me to put on as soon as I entered the room. If I could still follow instructions then we would move along from this point again, but I did love the blindfold… It was a safety net against the intensity of him, I worried that without it I would be like a rabbit in the headlights. Fortunately I didn’t need to worry about that for today. What I did need to worry about was how to transport my toy collection without drawing attention to myself as I walked through the hotel reception, in heels. My instructions for the evening were to wear a skirt, knickers and heels while having bare legs. My hair needed to be up as it had now grown enough to be put into a tail.

As my name suggests I am very comfortable barefoot.

Sir knew that I had been practising wearing heels while he had been away, but that I was still far from comfortable in them. I have a love/hate relationship with them: they are often aesthetically pleasing, but slip off of my feet and I end up looking like a clumpy clown. Somehow I managed to make it from my car to his room, and once inside the door I was able to stand steadily. Waiting for the sound of him moving across the room, his footsteps approaching across the carpeted floor. And there he was, running his hands across my body, claiming me once more.

His toy, his plaything. 

The bag full of toys that I brought with me and waited by my feet was all but ignored as he drew me into the scene with just the lube extracted from the top, where he had asked that I put it. I knew that he would be marking my backside, but aside from that I had no ideas. With my hair in a ponytail he had something solid to properly hold onto, and though I had experienced hair pulling before I had never had my head pulled back that far. There was a moment of real fear, when I realised that I couldn’t breathe because of the angle, but I trust Sir with my life and know full well that he will always keep me safe, all I need to do is trust him. So I did… I still felt that thrill of fear coursing through my body, but it wasn’t the terror that had briefly threatened to bubble up.

And then the impact play began…

Familiar and delicious, my backside appreciated the attention no end. And when he flipped me over and started on my feet I was in second heaven. I remember the position well, laying on my back holding my bent legs behind the knees with my feet presented for him to beat. I was exposed and vulnerable, blind to his movements I had no idea what he was using on me. It was stingy and had a bite…but I couldn’t put my finger on the implement. After an extended assault on my soles he paused and I caught my breath. I felt the air move and braced my feet for what was to come, but instead my poor unsuspecting pussy took the full force of the impact. Umph! 

I hadn’t been expecting that, and blushed with the pain and humiliation at my unspoken assumption.

Thinking back now I can almost imagine a cheeky grin flashing across his face, but at the time my lips had become swollen with the relentless blows. What was it that he was using…??? Now that he had moved away from my feet to a more sensitive area it felt like a Cat of nine tails, but the only time I recalled having one used on me was by a gentle sadist. This one made me want to sing in pain while my arousal leaked out of me… adding to the intensity of sensation.

The pleasure and pain link still forming, gradually, in my mind. 

Throughout the scene his wands were never far away, either his Hitachi giving the wonderfully satisfying and deep vibrations, interspersed with his electro wand which made me shriek, jump and giggle through orgasms. But what surprised me was toward the end… taking him deep in my throat while he used what felt like a tree trunk in my swollen apex. Each and every time I gagged on him it felt like a small flood would escape me. This was the first time I recall that sensation. Much like when he first introduced me to electro play I had to check in and see whether I had imagined a different sensation, I asked whether I had covered his bedding. I had always imagined I would be ashamed if I ever were to gush, but this hadn’t felt like I expected it to, and I trusted that he would tell me if I had done something wrong so I could just enjoy the situation. And when I received his cum I swallowed as much as I could greedily. When he flicked the last few drops over my face as they escaped the end of his cock, I don’t think I have ever been more grateful.

Driving home with flecks of his semen over my face, and in my hair… the invisible marks that I always adored.

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Image from Bould Whips

If it scares you it might be a good idea to try.

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The saying “Be careful what you wish for” comes to mind as I continue on with my memories.

Actually the exact phrase that comes to mind is Be careful what videos you save to an xHamster account that you share with your Dominant, but it doesn’t have quite the same ring to it. I have mentioned before that MrN wanted me to set up a shareable page on the popular porn site xHamster and that I had one already set up with videos of things I was curious about. When we had our next scheduled evening there was part of me which wished I had cleared out the account before sharing the log-in details, started with a clean slate with him. While I was trying to maintain concentration on the conversation, with a medium butt plug in place, he brought up one of the videos I had saved a while back…

It was a lady who was fisting herself, and she looked like she was really rather enjoying it.

He asked what had inspired my choosing that one, so I came clean. When I had started on my journey with Sir he had asked about fisting, and I said I would try but was scared as I didn’t think it would be possible for me. I may be a mum of two, but they were both born by caesarean! So I had taken to the internet for research and inspiration, following a trail of filth through stretching and fisting, anal fisting and rosebuds, finally ending up on self-fisting. The video I had saved (and watched over and over to make sure it was real, obviously) was of a young lady getting into an uncomfortable looking position, and actually managing to insert her whole hand into vagina. The faces she pulled while the video went on were not particularly alluring, but the fact that she could do it made me excited that one day I may be able to do that too. And if I could do it to myself…? Well, someone would be able to do it to me.

Why don’t you get started then? he asked me.

He made a very good case, I could take the time that I needed to gain flexibility and also to stretch myself. He didn’t mind if it took a while, but he would like to see that I was trying. The facts were that I had saved it myself and wanted to do it even though I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to. These made a good enough reason for him to ask. Not including his desire to watch me in my very own video for him… complete with those faces, which were unattractive to me but had the opposite effect on him.

That was all the incentive I needed.

At the time I was slim and fit, with very little excess tummy and a decent level of flexibility and strength. I worked out that if I wore my killer heels and perched on my bed the angles all made sense and I could reach where I needed to. It helps that I am partially double-jointed, the only use I have found for this oddity of my body (aside from being able to win hands-on-the-floor competitions at the pub.) Confident that I could reach I started working on stretching myself so that my hand would fit. The reading I had done focussed on fisting someone else. Did you know there is a Facebook group for fisting, complete with safety guidance and technique discussions??!! Because of the angles I wouldn’t be able to fully twist my wrist at the halfway point…

I was just going to have to work it out for myself, google just wasn’t ready for my curiosity!!

It took me a couple of weeks, with regular stretching and attempts, to get to the point where I thought it may be possible. I had been keeping MrN in the loop as per my progress, and he was encouraging in the face of my scepticism. I still didn’t believe that this would work. So I set up the camera, got my heels on and perched on the edge of my bed. Using my wand to moisten me up a little I used insertables to stretch myself open, and once I had an orgasm there seemed little else to do but go for it. I lubed my hand up and started.

Feeling the ripples from the preceding climax around my bunched up fingers was quite arousing in itself.

Getting to the knuckles I started to pull my fingers into a ball and managed a slight twist in my wrist. It had the desired effect of drawing the rest of my hand in, like a corkscrew. I was so surprised that I had managed it. And I was so full, I could feel my arousal all over my hand now, as I clamped down on myself. It is an indescribable sensation, and had I been more comfortable  I would have stayed there longer, but I was starting to get cramp in my side and had to remove my hand. Taking a deep breath and feeling my overstretched muscles return to size I was left with a sense of calm. The kind of peace that I associate with deep sexual satisfaction. And while the video was uploading for sending to MrN I enjoyed the company of my Doxy for a little longer, and floated off in my little bubble of joy.

The feeling of achieving a long-held goal is powerfully erotic for me, and knowing that I had pleased someone else as well… I was one happy submissive.

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To be outstanding- get comfortable with being uncomfortable

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Two of the strangest things happened at my next meeting with H.

He had arranged for us to visit The Annexe a holiday let attached to the home of a pair of veterans in the community. It was a place that I had discovered when Sir had tasked me with finding alternatives to hotels, and the set up seemed ideal. A kitchen/diner/living room with a sofa bed, a bedroom, shower room, kinky store-room and a dungeon. People can hire it for a kinky holiday, and fulfill their desires with the large selection of toys and furniture.  It was quite a trek for me, but before I could voice my concerns I was told he would collect me and we could drive up together.

As it was somewhere I had been curious about I could hardly complain.

We drove up with his music going through the speakers, general conversation and good company. We arrived at The Annexe after almost two hours driving, and the owners met us at the door. He showed off his latest creations that he was taking orders for, and she showed me around the space while pointing out the kettle and plate of biscuits –sneakily snaffling a couple while she chattered away. Introductions over with they left us to get comfortable. I made cups of tea then sat on the sofa while he got his things in order. While I sat there he popped his head around the door and tossed a velvet bag in my direction “that’s for you” he said, before disappearing again.

I tentatively opened the bag, almost dreading it, I knew what it felt like and felt fairly awkward.

It was a collar. A metal ring that could be locked in place with an allen key. It was shiny and felt cool to my touch and… made me feel a little bit sick really. This was my third time meeting with H, my second time to play with him, and as far as I was concerned he wasn’t my dominant. As we had discussed previously we would be friends who played, the collar felt too much, too official, too significant…. well, it wasn’t right for me. He came back to the room and said that he wanted me to have it because he felt strong feelings for me. So I had to have an uncomfortable conversation: I told him that I couldn’t offer more than we had agreed, that I didn’t feel that way for him, suggested that maybe we should call off the evening if he was going to be feeling hurt.

He asked me to wear it for the play, and I agreed on the proviso that it was a play collar and didn’t represent ownership in any way.

It is strange the effect that a band of leather or metal can have on me. The feeling of something being not quite right when I received this one was second only in discomfort to when I let another lady try on MY collar from Sir. My leather collar from Sir felt like going home, and this metal band made me feel like running away.

Once we got started we actually had a very pleasant play. 

I had my feet suspended and caned, H made videos promising to share them with me. I was tied to the St Andrew’s Cross and flogged. There was a bright light above it which made me hot and a little light-headed, so we changed furniture again. There was more foot caning, and he used a belt on my soles too. If it was possible this felt even better than the canes. The sensation would track up my body to my nipples and then back down to my clitoris. There was no denying it, this was really, really good… It was a fair trade-off for wearing the collar.

If I hadn’t been expecting the collar what happened next was really off the chart…

We finished up, packed away and I wiped the room down before making a cup of tea. He sat opposite me, fiddled in his bag and then pulled out a wad of notes. He waved them in my direction and said they were also for me. I couldn’t accept them. He said that he wanted me to take it to cover my “expenses.” The look on my face must have told him more than words ever could, but I found the words eventually. Each to their own, and I would never judge people who make money from their sessions, but for me it changes everything. As a single mum I would never have enough money and so it may well have made things much more comfortable at home, but I felt strongly that money could not exchange hands for play with me. And I was learning that if I didn’t defend myself (politely and respectfully) I would end up hating myself. And I had already put in a lot of hard work to prevent that. After what felt like an hour but was probably just a couple of minutes, H understood that if he tried to give me money again then that would be an end to meeting him.

So being brave enough to feel uncomfortable was the only way to ensure that I could lead the life I was striving for.

 

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Beyond a certain point the whole universe becomes a continuous process of initiation.

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It was soon time to meet with H again.

We had been in regular contact over the two weeks since we went out for dinner, we had discussed my likes, concerns and boundaries. I had asked questions which had been answered openly and easily. He had hired a play space for the evening, and we had arranged that he would pick me up from a service station and drive up together. That would mean I could relax and we could chat easily about any last-minute worries.

I was safer than at my previous encounter but I still had a lot to figure out!

He had already given me his telephone number and car registration, I even knew where he worked. At the time I didn’t have anyone I could tell where I was going, or what I was doing, but he didn’t know that, and I felt safe in his company, comfortable and relaxed on the drive up. When we arrived at the studio I was introduced to the owner who gave me a tour. I made a cup of tea and wandered around the rooms taking it all in. This was my first visit to an official dungeon, and I was surprised at all of the toys on display, the ropes and equipment. It also was clean, light and airy… Not what I had been expecting. The play space upstairs was well equipped, and the area downstairs was comfortable and relaxed. Drinking my tea, H went upstairs to organise the things that he had brought, before coming back down for me. Then it was my turn…

H bustled down the stairs and ushered me up them ahead of him. 

I took my clothes off, as we had discussed, and I was directed to the spanking bench which I folded myself over and the spanking began. With my behind nice and warm H tried out his belt and then his cane. I was more than comfortable to continue, his technique felt good and even, and he checked in regularly. It was our first time playing together, and I was unsurprised that he was gentle at this stage, I wasn’t stretched or outside of my comfort zone. So we changed equipment, and I offered up my feet for him to cane. This was what I had come for, the reason we had started talking. To say I was excited about this part of our session would be an understatement, but I was also a little nervous.

I needn’t have worried about how things would progress.

As H had been gentle on my backside, an area which was an established pleasure zone for me during impact play, it followed suit that he would not push me when he started work on my feet. He wouldn’t want to scare me off after all! I enjoyed the sensations a great deal, when I had used the spoon on my soles I had felt a nice tingly pleasure over my feet with each sting. As the cane strokes fell on that evening the tingling spread up my calves, it was altogether pleasant and I was a happy lady. I knew that this would be an area that I could push myself in, I would love to find out how far those tingles would spread. With H satisfied with his foot caning we changed equipment again. and while I lay down he produced a Lelo wand and used it on me until I reached orgasm, and that was the end of our play session.

I dressed and we tidied up the play space before going downstairs again.

Once there he handed me the wand, telling me that he had bought it for me that day, that it was top of the range and I should really enjoy it. Then he pulled out a selection of sandwiches, drinks and biscuits, insisting that I eat…once again he didn’t… but we had a nice chat about the space, what we had both enjoyed and what could be different another time.  As long as he was happy I knew there would be another time as I was curious about whether I could take more, and whether he could give more. And he was happy with that, though I did ask him not to bring me prawn sandwiches again, as prawns are a hard limit and I did not want to offend him by not eating them.

A small thing I know, but he was happy with my request. 

Following a brief chat with the owner, and making sure that everything was as I had found it, we were on our way again, back to the service station where my car was parked, and then off to our separate homes. I was armed with my new toy, and my brain was whirring around with the possibilities for a future session with H. I knew I would have to get used to a different style and not compare H to sir; try to forget the intensity from before and enjoy H and his foot fetish for what they were.

My initiation into Bastinado had begun in earnest.

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