Listen To Your Heart

What’s a girl to do when it’s Valentine’s day on #TittieTuesday and the revelations prompt for the week is “Paolo Coelho Love Quotes.” The dilemma is made even more tricky when I consider the theme for my month, that of finding the hidden things I love about myself. And then you have to take into consideration the sheer volume of relatable love quotes by such a talented author. This could, quite easily, have become a long listicle post! But I stumbled across one that told me to listen to my heart and then found this one which makes sense beyond anything else I found.

“Listen to your heart. It knows all things, because it came from the Soul of the World and it will one day return there.”

Paolo Coelho

For so long I didn’t listen to my heart. I stayed in an abusive marriage for far longer than hindsight suggests would be wise. But – no regrets! I have two fantabulous smalls and my life is full, vibrant, wonderful. Who knows what paths I’d have wandered down had I left sooner. Or if I’d have returned?

I spent so long NOT listening to my heart that it lost its voice.

So much so that it took me four years to realise that I loved Sir. Perhaps it took four years for my heart to heal enough ready to start talking. But when it did start, my hearts voice was soft, subtle, intoxicating.

Is it a coincidence that, in the same window of that creeping realisation of love for the over-riding male influence in my world, I also started to let go of the anger at P. Which came first? I don’t know. I love my boys, want the best for them, but I think I wanted them to have the same love from their dad. But as I understood my own heart I realised that, so long as they (my children) were safe and got what they needed from him I could let go of some of that pain.

With the volume turned up on love I found that my relationships changed.

My family life became easier, calmer, more fun. My friendships deepened, the protective boundaries I’d built up over my adult life were now slowly able to be chipped away.

Now that I can hear her again, I realise I’ve always loved. Even from behind those high walls. It was never the case that I shut down completely. It’s just that I didn’t understand healthy relationships because I’d never had one. This meant, when my heart was telling me something was wrong she was quiet and hesitant. I didn’t listen because… That noisy chuntering in my brain never ceased.

I wonder where my heart will take me in the future. Both physically and metaphorically.

Life is much more exciting when I listen to my heart. Let love lead the way.

Soon, for example, I’m taking these smalls abroad for the first time. I’ve had to be super courageous in order to get this far, and the chuntering of my brain has told me to stop many times. But I love the boys and want them to have adventures so my heart has over-ruled the fearful part of my brain that’s chirped up.

In the spirit of Valentine’s day, I hope you are all having the day you wished for. I headed off for a romantic dinner for three last night. (Romantic dinner = Family Meal at the Pizza Restaurant.) This means that tonight I am free for dinner invitations from secret suitors!

I’m proud of my ability to love in spite of the battering my heart has taken over the years. To allow myself to be vulnerable regardless of the evidence I have that not everyone will treat my vulnerabilities with kindness. To listen to my heart, and to act accordingly, being brave, taking risks. As my dad used to say, nothing worth having is ever easy, and if it were would you want it? I think I’m done with trials of the heart, now I’m ready to hold her up close, listen to what she has to say and explore love kindly.

Thank you for joining me for February PhotoFest 2023. This is my fourth time joining the month long celebration of erotic and sensual photography. If you’re enjoying it please do go and check out the previous years: 2019 was an incomplete month. I skipped 2020 due to not blogging at the time but 2021 was a joy to plan and complete, in spite of lockdowns. 2022 was a little more relaxed behind the scenes, but jam packed with pictures and memories I love.