Pride Man: An Eight Year Old Ally.

pride man has inspired men, his mum, to wrap myself up in the pride flag.

I can’t believe we’re over half way through Pride month and I’ve yet to write anything specific for it here. But I have been doing the work in my off line world. Most notably with my youngest, who has called himself pride man.

This is the story of Pride Man, and how he came to be.

Some time ago my little one wanted a bedroom of ALL the colours. He wanted it to be a rainbow! Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever tried decorating with a six year old (as he was at the time) but it’s not easy. Particularly when he wants to do fine detailing. As it was he chose a rainbow flag for his walls, which was lovely to see. At the time we discussed what the flag represented: open, honest and age appropriate conversations are the way of things in our house, and this was no exception.

Before long he wanted a simpler room, took the flag down, gave it to me. Which I gladly enjoyed. When it’s not been wrapped around me it’s been draped over our dining chairs, or over the banisters.

My oldest loves flags.

Maps and flags are his current specialist subject, and his little brother tries so hard to be part of that interest. And while little siblings can be annoying it comes from a place of adoration rather than intentionally being a nuisance. (Said as a little sister.) So the little man had the pride flag, and was running round the house with it. Eventually he came to me and asked “what does this flag represent again Mummy?” So I told him.

At eight, what is age appropriate has changed slightly since he last asked. The discussion that followed was no less open and honest than his question demanded. And while it was two way it was also short. Loving your fellow humans because of who they are is an easy idea for him to grasp, and while there are differences with how relationships might look, it doesn’t mean they need to be different in how they feel. Love is love, after all!

What’s not to love about an innocent eight year old’s logic.

He got this look on his face, put the flag down and went off upstairs, returning shortly after with one of my hairbands and a request: “please may I use this?”

Without telling me what he was doing he disappeared into the living room. We’d been sat on the stairs together while we chatted, and I waited there, curiosity and patience balancing each other until I heard his footsteps. He stepped into the hall with a flourish.

“Pride Man is here!” he declared.

He’d turned the flag into a cape, fastening it at the neck with my hairband, and then topped it off with his big brothers fedora. He then proceeded to charge up and down the stairs, cape flying, declaring that he was pride man. He kept it up for what felt like half an hour, and then asked me to take some pictures (which I won’t post) before snuggling up in his flag to play some video games.

As parents we can’t control our young peoples developing personalities.

OK, that’s not entirely true. Some parents can, but it’s not an approach I’d like to take on. Especially when, as in my case, each half of the parenting team has such opposing values and ways of communicating. But, viewing the future through my own lens (I’m a queer mother to two boys, who were both born into a world of domestic violence. Not forgetting we have a neurodiverse household too.) I’m heartened to see that the next generation (in my little family) is showing every sign of being open and responsive to all of the differences the world has on offer. I hope that this will continue as they grow into adults.

A friend suggested there was a certain irony in him calling himself pride “man”. But I don’t think so. Allies come in many shapes. Now, he is very clear that he is a boy. He is also very clear that not everybody was born into the right body for them, and has been clearly communicating this since he was three or four. And now he is Pride Man, ready to fight for the right for people to love who ever they choose. A message, I’m told by his teacher, that he has taken in to the classroom for his friends to learn too.

With Pride month celebrations in full swing across the globe I am pleased to see that my youngest, a (currently) CIS gender white male, is flying the flag with the best of us. And that excites me.

The future’s bright, with Pride Man on hand.

Every Damn Day in June
Boob Day

Pride Man: An Eight Year Old Ally brought me such joy to write. Here’s another post that I still smile over when reading, perhaps you might enjoy it too? Skirts And The Art Of Dominance.

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