I’m not making any plans. I’m just going to let the universe surprise me.


With a storm approaching in my vanilla life it was my turn to hit the brakes in my relationship with Sir.

I explained the situation to him, and though it hurt me to have to pause things he was clear in that my priorities should not be working hard for him at this time. As a mum I needed to concentrate on the crazy situation with P as it unfolded, to have my children as my main focus and to look after myself. He stepped back a little sending me the occasional email checking in, but giving me the head space that I required at the time. I can see now that he did the right thing; for the first time since meeting him I had not missed his tasks or craved contact.

It took about 5 weeks for balance to be restored, and I started to get some free time.

…and as if by magic an email dropped into my inbox. Another general inquiry as to how I was doing, but the timing caught me off guard. Those painful and challenging weeks slipped away and I managed to piece together a more in-depth response, stating that I felt ready to work hard for him again, to feel that connection. He had been giving me space, but now I was available, physically and emotionally, to please and entertain him again. Although my life was getting back on track his was up in the air again, this time with work being the cause for much anguish. Though he would not be in a position to meet me for the short-term, he would be in contact and had a job for me…if I was sure I wanted one. Before his accident he had been planning a scene with another woman, preferably submissive. It was part of the planned journey that he wanted for us, and one that I was looking forward to. So to help things along, if you wish to do something for me for now, see if you can find a woman to engage with that one scenario.

And just like that I was back and working for him again.

I had forgotten how challenging this task had been before. Nothing had changed since I had last been looking, and he and I would have familiar conversations about lack of interest and rude responses. Neither of us understood why people had to be rude to me. I was always very polite, read profiles and spoke appropriately. I would never dream of sending a message I wouldn’t be pleased to receive. Lack of interest is fine, rudeness is not. There were some ladies showing potential, but they didn’t seem to go anywhere. I had no idea what I could do that would improve my chances.

As the search seemed to hit more dead ends I suddenly had a flash of inspiration.

My friend K was very open about being bisexual. Of her 6 long-term relationships 2 had been with women, and in discovering that she had a kinky side it seemed that she was flirting with me. I was not particularly aware of it to start with, but as she became more suggestive I realised that she was coming on to me. I spoke to sir about the situation, unsure how to proceed, or even if I should. I worried that if I invited her along to scene with sir and myself she would want me to play with her and her partner. I wouldn’t be able to do that, he had a beard and…NO, I don’t mix well with beards! Sir’s advice was that if I wanted to ask her I should, but if I would have to do something I didn’t want to in return then he wouldn’t agree to her joining us. Trading is only worthwhile if it works for everyone.

And so I bit the bullet and asked her.

It was less that I asked her, more that I went round for dinner and wine, and after a couple of glasses I opened my mouth and the words tumbled out. Much to the amusement of her partner, who was sat across the room. As K looked at me with a puzzled look on her face I swept the words up again and formed a coherent sentence. If you are interested in playing with me and want to dip your toes into kink, perhaps you would like to join me and sir one day? Even though she had been showing signs that she was interested in me I was shocked when she agreed, without hesitation. There was no trade-off, no bartering for a threesome.

Just an enthusiastic YES! and she handed over her email address so that sir could get in touch.

Sir requested that I give her his email, and then if she wanted to know more then she could ask, rather than him approach her and seem forceful. That way he would know that it was entirely her choice to be in contact, without coercion from her partner or a sense of duty within the friendship. So I gave her his email, and then the wait began… K is a wonderful human being, but she was dreadfully scatty.  

While I waited for news I was excited that we had the green light, and the greatest surprise was that it was a close friend who would be joining me.



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