Last year I wrote about my efforts to understand why men send unsolicited dick pics. I know, I know, unsolicited images can be sent from anyone, to anyone, but cis-guys tend to cause the biggest problem. I consider myself lucky. My fabswingers account is usually heavily filtered, meaning men can’t message. And I am rarely troubled on social media. But I was watching Emily Atack’s documentary – Asking for it – and counted my blessings. She shares pictures of herself in swimwear, dresses and, occasionally, sexy underwear, but men seem to think that’s an invitation for crude interactions in her DMs. Are you the kind of man who is likely to send explicit messages to people who haven’t enthusiastically asked? If so I urge you to watch her investigation. It’s truly sickening.
I’m strict with my online boundaries.
Over my years on fab I’ve had varying degrees of message filtering. When they send *those* messages, I like to ask why people would send me that message or picture. As discussed in my previous post, one young lad I spoke to was disappointed that I’d said no and was at a loss as to how to attract me. Well, as I said back then, “to win the talent show they need to stand out from the crowd. The best way to do this is to be kind, considerate and DON’T send any unsolicited photos of what’s inside your pants!”
Not only is it rare for us to want a stranger to stick their schlong in our inbox, it’s unlikely that parading it on your profile is going to grab our attention. As I said before, there are exceptions, but these are few and far between, don’t get lost in the majority.
So, how do you stand out from the crowd?
Firstly, and it pains me to say, you stand out by NOT sending pictures of you in all your glory to strangers on the internet. Yes, yes, I know… In my experience men are very keen to enjoy pictures of the privatest of parts of potential future lovers. (Even when they don’t know them yet.) And if you would appreciate a certain level of photo then I can understand why you could be mistaken in thinking that your potential future lovers might want to receive one from you too. But… We don’t!
What we might like could surprise you. Well, not all of you. There are lots of amazing, respectful, kind men out there. For you, I am grateful.
Unless you are a particularly gifted self photographer, taking a snap of your dick is unlikely to lead to enticing results. And the message you send is one dimensional, crass. I’m guessing that you want your intended playmate to be drooling over what you have to offer? What’s a guy to do when you’re chatting to a lady and she asks for a picture? It is, after all, nice to know who you’re speaking to online. How about, instead of flooding the internet with images of your todger you keep them in a private folder – for when someone specifically asks for one – and remain clothed.
If I’m browsing for mischief makers I scroll past the dicks.
I get it, anonymity is key in this world, but there are ways of keeping your identity private without exposing yourself. Use the little thumbnails to tell us all about you. Personally, it’s the hand shots that stop me in my tracks, and the lower arms. Maybe the jaw line too. Then the back, shoulders, thighs. Possibly tastefully undressed, but clothed works well in most situations. Many women like a man in a suit. Others of us like workmen’s gear. But – thinking about my group of friends – it’s rare to meet a red-blooded woman who doesn’t love a man wearing sexy underwear.
Hang on a minute… Did I just say there’s sexy underwear for men?
If you’re thinking “that’s not for me”, I don’t mean lingerie. While often celebrated, it can also be a little niche for encouraging the masses. And, if you’re sending your dick pic out willy nilly (pun intended) then I’m guessing it’s the masses you want. Sadly, you’re likely to get more abuse than praise. many vanilla people would consider it a kink, and we should always be mindful of consent and exposure to kinks. If cross dressing is an important part of your personal expression, share it. Weed out those who don’t understand early on. But if it’s a fun addition to a much wider way of being, then hold it back.
Personally I love a man in trunks, like the red ones above. I like the way the snug fabric gently supports cock and balls within, lifting them, presenting them. The way the soft fabric loosely grips the tops of strong, hairy thighs. But if you prefer loose fit boxers, don’t let that stop you. Or tight fit briefs. Maybe you feel sexiest in a thong, cheeks exposed, pouched cock presented beautifully. There are lots of sexy underwear styles for men, it’s just about finding what works for you. I may not be your target lover so the example of what I’d like may be completely irrelevant.
Whatever you choose, be yourself and stay as comfortable as possible. Then your personality can shine through. At this point women (or at least this woman and her friends) are more likely to wake up, take notice, interact if you’re showing us something tantalising rather than explicit on your public profile. Treat us to genuine conversation, alongside your teasing pictures, and you never know… Once we get to know you we might even ask to see what lies inside the fabric.
But please, guys… Wait to be asked!
From the story of how the barefoot sub became the woman she is today, to toy reviews, with a hefty dose of contemplation, a sprinkling of erotica and a LOT of nudity in between, you can be sure to find something to tickle your fancy at A Leap Of Faith.
i must agree on 2 points. 1 i have never sent unsolicted pics. 2. i worked part time back in my 20’s modeling sexy men undies at women’s parties. very interesting job ladies also liked my shaved legs. often wondered how many asked their hubby’s to shave.
love your blog