My Pussy Pump Adventures: Reviewing The Temptasia

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I think the world is a funny place. Sometimes I get so excited about an opportunity that the only possible outcome is disappointment. Other experiences blow my socks off with an unexpected outcome. And then there are the times where I think I’m disappointed, only to keep trying and discover a world of new sensation. What on earth am I talking about? In this case, I’m thinking about a pussy pump. But which category does it fall under? Read on to find out…

When the team at Betty’s Toy Box offered to send me some products to review I looked at the options. The item that initially took my fancy first was the Temptasia Intense Pussy Pump System. I’ve made my own clit pump, and tried breast pumps. I’d also tried a lower end pussy pump once upon a daydream, and not managed to make the suction work. It would be years before I learnt about using lube to form the seal for suction, and in the interim a clear out had taken place so I have no idea if the original device would have worked, though I seam to remember a silicon seal which didn’t quite meet at the edges.

Anyway, I digress. The one that I saw on Betty’s Toy Box had no such rubber outer layer. And the cup looked bigger too. As a woman with voluptuous labia this appealed greatly. So I had made my choice, and the wait began.

When I received the parcel I inspected the contents.

The packaging was sleek and sophisticated, the box glossy black cardboard with a sexy, lingerie clad woman sitting in shot. The pump superimposed over her image. Logos emblazoned the sides, and on the back, details of the pump were clearly laid out.

There were three parts which were easy enough to assemble when I took them out.

The pump handle, made of black plastic, rests comfortably within my hand, and I can use it to suck the air through with ease. The red tube is made of silicon and is 27cm long. One end connects to the pump handle and also houses the pressure release valve. The other end has a hard, white plastic connector for joining onto the contoured hood. The hood is shaped half-way between a rectangle and an oval- I’m not sure what that shape is called though. (Does anyone know? If so, please share in the comments below.) The internal dimensions of the hood were 73mm wide, 103mm long and 55mm deep, with the rim being 6/7mm thick. The corresponding white, plastic connector, in the middle at the highest point of the hood, had a little metal spring device for easy release of the silicon tube. For cleaning, or for during use.

Having waited years for another go at this I settled back on my bed to give it a thorough testing, remembering just in time that I would need water-based lube due to the silicon tube.

That first day I was pleased to note that I was actually able to form a seal, and pump the air out so that I could feel the pressure on my labia and mons. I’ve mentioned that I have a generous helping in the vulval department, and so being able to form a seal and then fix it into place over my plentiful flesh was… a delight.

Though at this point I wasn’t particularly delighting in the actual pussy pump.

Yes, it was easy to use. My goodness, the seal was great. And naturally I kind of enjoyed it but, it wasn’t really what I had been hoping for. The idea I’d had in my head was one of intense discomfort, from the suction. If you’ve ever used a breast pump for lactation then you’ll understand: that was the sensation I had imagined.

I had the seal. I had the suction, limited due to my size but it was definitely there. And I had the best of intentions to feel it. However, what I felt was uncertainty about how to proceed with my review. Rereading the instructions I tried again, but I was becoming increasingly uncertain of what I was actually meant to be feeling. The more I tested it, and met the same result, the more disillusioned I became. It fit so well, over my labia, that I didn’t like to move it elsewhere. And when I did the seal would fail. What on earth could I do?

It turned out I didn’t know everything…

I’d originally intended on sharing the review last Friday, but while enjoying myself midweek I began scrolling through my favourite porn site. Looking for something different to inspire my next orgasm, I don’t know where the thought came from, but “Pussy Pump” was soon in the search bar. While they have been a go-to fantasy for a while now, I don’t think I’d ever watched them in use.

Well, I don’t like to use porn for education, more inspiration, so once I was finished it was time to switch to google for a deep dive into how to use my long desired piece of equipment. I found many articles describing how to use a pussy pump, and the reasons why they should be included in a collection, but these were mostly posts on toy shops websites. I don’t necessarily consider these to be objective, so kept looking. School Of Squirt has a beginners guide to pussy pumps, and the information in there was neatly laid out, and really, really helpful.

You know, I had been using the pussy pump right all along.

However, I could also use it right in a slightly different way. Laying back on my bed, legs folded back and held out wide, I found my labia stretched wider. I positioned the suction cup of the pussy pump in the same spot as I previously had, but with my labia spread wider it was a different kind of pressure. Yes, my lips still filled the cup quickly, but not quite so quickly. Perhaps this was because they were stretched tighter to start with, there was less plumpness to suck into the hood. Maybe?

Whatever the reason, the pressure was much greater. So much so that I suddenly felt like I needed the toilet as my vagina had all of the air removed and my perineum was sucked forward. (Typing this has me wondering how anal would feel with the pussy pump in situ. I think this will be a test for another day.)

Back to business…

The article had mentioned timings too. The instruction manual stated that fifteen minutes should be the absolute maximum, and I’d mostly stuck to that. Twenty minutes was the upper limit, for my pumped labia. With the article saying that I could potentially work up to an hour I decided to try that. I didn’t manage to disconnect the tube from the hood, so instead hooked the handle on to the front of my skirt as I busied myself around the house. Rather than laying around waiting to FEEL incredible, I just went about my day.

I’m unsure if it was thirty or forty minutes that passed. Aside from a couple of pumps being required, I’d had a very comfortable hour. No, it didn’t feel like it always had in my fantasies, but it was on, and something was happening down there.

It wasn’t until I removed the hood that any changes were detectable.

Inspecting myself in the mirror, I noticed my inner labia were engorged, the outer labia were also full and had a deep blush. They were also glistening, slick with more than the light coating of lube I’d used at the start, and too viscous to be the sweat build up inside the cup. Clearly my body was physically aroused.

If you’ve never seen your private parts enlarged by a pump, then be prepared for some visual discomfort. I can’t say that looking at myself- either in the mirror or the pictures I shared with Sir- is something that I enjoyed. But that is of little consequence because I have to work quite hard to see my vulva generally, and the feeling was quite unlike anything I’d experienced before. While the sensation within my folds (that were now mounds) were unlike what I’d imagined them to feel, I am delighted to report that my entire undercarriage was grateful for my persistence.

Did the Temptasia Intense pussy pump system meet my expectations?

In short, no.

Firstly, the pumping system was far easier to use than a balloon pump. If you have stiff hands, the action of the pull handle is much easier than squeezing a firm rubber balloon.

Secondly, it didn’t feel like I could ever have imagined. In my head the purpose was a playful torture device. In fact, the sensation was quite gentle for me. I imagine for those with less plump vulva (or more sensitive ones) the pressure could be much more intense. Where the fun really started was after releasing the suction and removing the hood. I was then able to trail fingers over the larger than life labia. Did I stop there? No, of course not! I experimented with toys as well as my fingers, and I’d become incredibly sensitive and responsive. Before my second orgasm hit my clit was already dancing around like a pebble on a sub woofer, my rippling vagina very much alive even before a mere hint of penetration.

Four, five, ten orgasms later I needed to head out for a run. Only, with the excessive flesh in my knickers, the camel toe of my shorts provided me with ongoing pleasure. Again, not what I had expected, but perhaps a warning to be heeded. Don’t be like Barefoot! Let the swelling subside before trying to get back to vanilla life.

While it took longer to understand the way that the pussy pump will work for me, I think this is a reminder to me that fantasy does not equal fact.

Although it didn’t meet my expectations, different does not mean bad.

In this case the temporary, intense pain that I was expecting did not materialise. Instead, after winding my neck in and asking Google, I was treated to an overly sensitive undercarriage which provided me with the kind of pleasure that comes with a week of edging repeatedly. I’m looking forward to enjoying this with someone else in control of the pump, both with timing and with intensity. As well as for the tease afterwards.

I know that we didn’t get off to the best start, but I am looking forward to further solo adventures with the pussy pump too. I’d like to increase my time spent wearing it, and learn what effects an hour might have on my nether regions. But mostly I’m just looking forward to watching my pumped clit dance to the rhythm of my intensified orgasms while poking out from between my slick and swollen labia.

If you would like some Pussy Pump adventures of your own, you can find the Temptasia Intense Pussy Pump system at Betty’s Toy Box for $36.99. (Price accurate on 21st June 2022)