I kept dipping back into Bemydom to see whether there was anyone of interest to me.
I had met with H a couple of times and that was looking to progress quite nicely as far as my foot caning initiation went, and I had met E but hadn’t been physical with anyone sexually since her. That site seemed to be a good place to start looking once more. As ever there was no shortage of offers, the reason I had made myself scarce was the sheer volume of idiotic requests. This time someone took my fancy. We were chatting on and off for a while, he had an exhibitionist streak so we switched to kik so we could swap pictures.
I arranged to meet R for a swim at the beach a couple of weeks later.
I slipped out on the evening and headed down to the bay, it was a stormy grey evening and the wind had picked up. I love to swim in the sea, and consider myself a strong swimmer, but I knew that plans would need to change as it wouldn’t be safe to go in. I think R was pleased when I told him, he told me later that he isn’t a confident sea swimmer. So we sat in the back of his van with a cup of tea, watching the sea and having a really good chat. A couple of weeks later I had moved P out, so R picked me up from my house and we went for a really great walk down the river. More tea drinking, more chatting. The next time he came down we made it into the sea, and he was wearing a mankini! I had never seen a sober man wearing one, and this was a sunny summers evening at the beach… R earned a huge amount of respect from me that day.
It turned out that we were actually quite compatible as friends, which was so frustrating because I was in a near constant state of arousal by this point…
Now, R had a workshop, and a backlog of boat engines to work through plus the electrics to do on his own boat. I have some skills in those departments so offered to help him out one day; I would work for cups of tea. He agreed, but it would have to be the electrics in his boat, and we would both need to be naked. Hooray!! I was getting somewhere. It is funny really, because he had made it abundantly clear that I could do anything I wanted to do to him… but my brain couldn’t quite figure out how to do that. By the time I made it up to his workshop we had been real life friends for about 6 weeks, and we were sat in his boat in the middle of his workshop, both completely naked and drinking tea.
The lack of clothing was a non-issue, nothing could have felt more normal.
It was incredible to be so relaxed and confident in my own skin. It was less than a year since I had felt fat, ugly and undesirable. Sir had worked hard to help me learn to appreciate myself but this was the first time away from him that I had realised how liberated I was from that self-loathing. Armed with this new-found confidence I pottered off to his kettle and made new cups of tea. What I found when I got back was enough to change the course of our friendship.
R was laying on his back, head under the seating in the back of his boat, lower half completely exposed.
It was a beautiful sight, and one that made my mouth water. He wasn’t showing signs of excitement but I had been given free rein to explore him and so I did. He was quick to respond, although he did bump his head on the underside of the seating. I’m not sure who was more surprised at my taking advantage of him? R, who had clearly baited me but wasn’t expecting anything. Or me, who had actually pounced, pounced on his vulnerable and exposed body.
Well, we both enjoyed ourselves that sunny afternoon.
It stays in my mind for so many reasons:
- the first time I drank tea on a power boat
- naked tinkering on the boat
- the first time I performed oral on R
- the first time I realised independently that I was at ease in my own skin.
This was the first time I had cemented a friendship in this way. We both knew that we had each made a good friend, and I don’t think either of us had designs on taking things further than a mutually pleasurable friendship, but to feel totally at ease with him, and with myself… I had forgotten that friendships like this could exist until I met R.