Packing Up Or A Special Delivery?

Naked lady - suggesting she's packing up in a box or delivery to a new owner?

Why on earth am I in a box? Aside from the fact that I’m now in possession of a box I will fit in, obviously…  Is someone packing me up, sending me to storage, or am I a fresh delivery, ready for an unboxing?

The kinky thrill I get looking at this image, day-dreaming about being delivered, someone’s fuck doll, is hot, made me want to get back in the box and touch myself…

And the surge of adrenaline I got when I realised I had taken the picture I wanted caused a little flutter of pride.

It’s actually neither of those reasons. It’s more symbolic. You see, for a little while now I’ve been wondering if my blog has run it’s course. Having started it as a task, in 2018, I had permission to stop writing it that summer but kept with it. It evolved into my space, but somehow it kept the conversation going with S, even during our times apart. He was my “audience”, my muse, the one I wrote for.

It’s almost two years since I started a different conversation, one that I knew would be the last when I hit Send.

And since then I’ve been evolving.

Sometimes it felt safe to come back here and  share what’s going on – especially at tricky times, during difficult situations.

But some of those tricky situations still lurk in my traffic, bubbling along behind the scenes.

Sometimes this place feels like home, others I feel exposed. And not in a fun way.

Last summer I spoke with Modesty Ablaze, she assured me that I had a wider audience than just S. If noone else, at least she loved to read my adventures too. I know others enjoy my words. And pictures! The stats don’t lie. But still, I found it hard to rediscover my creativity. With my return to paid employment it was easier to let the blog slip down my priorities list – silly really as writing is a tonoc for my soul.

Towards the end of last year I was asked for the link a couple of times. The second time I froze. Suddenly feeling hugely exposed and… nervous.

Why be nervous when I love this space. I know the words I’ve shared have given hope to some, heat to others and a fresh perspective to more.

I couldn’t shake the feeling that I should just close the blog.

Having ended things with S, this is one of the last connections to him. I loved him very much, but having evolved I needed something different than he could offer. He is the Jiminy Cricket on my shoulder when it comes to safety and self-worth, but he no longer holds my heart. We let each other go, perhaps now is the time for the conversation to stop.

For anyone I move on with, I don’t want them to “get to know me” through the blog. But while there will be posts here that are helpful to illustrate my thinking, it takes a strong man to read between the lines of devotion to my former owner. (In fairness, it takes a strong man to possess my soul so maybe this isn’t a bad thing?)

I spoke to SWL who told me she fully expects to see all of my Scavenger Hunt pictures go live before that happens. Frankly, that made me laugh but wasn’t too helpful with my decision making.

But while talking to her it dawned on me, there is someone I can ask. Someone who has her own website, whose work and all round awesomeness I look up to. GOTN had been through similar-if-different stuff a while back. I remember her heart rending post and the words floated back.

If anyone could help me figure this out…

A brief email exchange and some helpful thoughts from a wise woman gave me an opportunity to change my thinking. She pointed me in the direction of posts which were 100% me and posts which had helped her. Not to mention the exuberant enthusiasm she has for my erotica-turned-audioporn.

Turns out I’m not ready for packing up the blog, but I will need to adjust my delivery a little bit.

It’s only natural. The site is not almost seven years old and has barely changed in its appearance.

Why would it not change. I’ve evolved, the last year in particular has been a time of extreme growth. Why wouldn’t my creative outlet enjoy a little TLC?

So I have something of a plan:

  • I’m hoping to rebuild some kind of routine in my writing, this helps my wellbeing and means the rest of my life runs smoother. I won’t be prolific; life, work and study are full on at the moment so I’ll need to be patient with myself. I hope you will be too!
  • Nothing will change immediately, but in time the blog will be renamed, and redesigned. I’ve had ideas for the latter for a while, perhaps this is the kick up the backside I needed?
  • The story behind my blog is still important. I hope to continue writing that, but how needs careful consideration.
  • There is some social media streamlining to do.
  • SWL has told me I need to post my Scavenger Hunt locations so there is that to do.
  • I’ve had a plan for February Photo Fest since September. I plan to have this ready to roll next month.
  • Oh, and I have Fuck Doll Delivery erotica to write. Perhaps I’ll even pitch it to GOTN for her AudioPorn collection. 

This space has been somewhat empty of late. While I was ready to cut and run, that really isn’t the right course of action. I think, maybe, I knew all along. Had I wanted to go I would have just closed the site. But sometimes we all need a little sulk, and a little help from our friends.

So please, be patient with me while I’m posting sporadically.

It’s not time for packing up, just adjusting my delivery to suit where I am now. I’m grateful for each of you that reads my posts and supports my work.

Here’s to a productive 2025! And lots more smut…

And Sinful Sundays!

Sinful Sunday

Click the lips to see what everyone else is sharing this week. Or follow this trail to my Sinful Sunday archives where you can find all of my past submissions.

9 comments

  1. Just so you know, I enjoy reading all your posts, thoughts and feelings.

    I don’t often say that because I don’t want to come across as a creepy guy. But I do and will stay patient.

    Thanks for sharing so much.

  2. I so relate to this. I have struggled with my blog for a little while now too. I have even considered just taking a proper break and letting it languish but I fear that I might never return if I do that.

    Also with regards to dating, when I was dating I was very open about my blog. It did expose the idiots very quickly but did also mean lots of men made big assumptions rather than actually reading properly or even listening. Also lots of men were intimidated by it and therefore me. It didn’t help ij the slightest and yet I refuse to hid it and be ashamed of it.

    I am very glad you are sticking around. I have aways enjoyed your work here and look forward to seeing more of it

    Molly

  3. The image is stunning. It’s confronting too. “Why do I find it hot?” “Is it OK to find it hot?”
    I found much to relate to in the words. When my most recent relationship ended I too thought about taking the blog down. “What’s it for?” I asked myself. I’m glad I still have it and I’m glad you’ve decided to keep yours.
    The creative process is a healthy thing. Bx

  4. Oh … where to start …

    Firstly … that is such an amazingly wondrous photo!!! You say “I had taken the picture” … I don’t know how you managed that, and at that angle. It’s truly wonderful … I LOVE it in every sense, the “symbolism” you mention, the physicality of how it was actually achieved, AND the eroticism and beauty of what your box contains.

    Secondly … “writing is a tonic for my soul” … true for ALL of us who post of course, but more specifically your writing is, I’m sure, a tonic for ALL who read your words too. (Certainly they are for me!!!)

    Thirdly … “helpful thoughts from a wise woman” … that’s one of the reasons this “community” is so wonderful to be part of isn’t it. Being able to reach out for advice and thoughts from their own experiences in the past.

    AND … I too share that “exuberant enthusiasm” for your erotica turned-audio-porn. You have such a beautiful, clear voice and tone. So genuine and calming … and yet wonderfully sexy to listen to such arousing and erotic words.

    So … yes, Yes, YES … “here’s to a productive 2025! And lots more smut… ”

    Huge kisses !!! Xxx – K

  5. Having just returned to blogging after quite the hiatus I’m so glad to see this post. Firstly the image is amazing and it’s so good you have ideas for Feb Photofest; can’t wait to see them. I’m glad you asked some of the wise people of this little world for their thoughts. Look forward to seeing more from you. xx

  6. I love the concept of this image and I love the aesthetics of it, too.

    I can empathize with the who am I/what is this blog evolution. I have no doubt you’ll find the path forward that works best for where you’re at right now in life.

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