The Three Cs Of Barefoot

That’s a rather bold title: The Three Cs of Barefoot. Quite a jumping in point, when I haven’t even given the pre-amble! Well then, I’d best get on with it, hadn’t I?

I’ve had opportunity to do a lot of reflecting recently. You’re shocked, I can tell! I’ve been working on a series of posts, the first of which was Buy Myself Flowers. Actually, the first was published in 2022 – Coffee, Tea and Non-Monogamy explores my relationship structure preferences, but this is an evolving piece of inner work, and I felt like things needed an update. More for me than for anyone else.

Weirdly, I’ve had reason to miss S of late.

Not that my reasons for the end aren’t right, and still absolutely valid. More because of his nature, his presence, the effect he had on me. How he was with me, and what I valued in him. What I need in my relationships. Well, what I need in intimate relationships. I rather hope I offer these three traits to my friends. But sometimes I need someone to restore that balance, or allow me to slide off-balance ever so slightly.

The three Cs emblazoned on my breasts are a start, they make the basis of my hopes for the future.

• Clarity: I need clear and concise communication. A simple “I genuinely don’t know” response to a question tells me where you’re at. It’s ok not to know, just be clear.
• Consistent: I really struggle with incessant changing of decisions. It’s all well and good being clear in your decision but stick with it. Or at least show that you’ve given careful consideration to your changed mind.
• Calm: Now, I am a bit of an adrenalin junkie. But I can’t function for long in the state of anxiety, with the pumping adrenaline, that comes from lack of clarity and inconsistency. I thrive in a calm environment where I can anchor the fluidity within my brain. And while I am generally able to manage my own calm-ness, much like self-dating, sometimes it is healthy to have a safe harbour to set down my anchor.

It’s interesting, knowing what I need.

Or rather, knowing that I know what I need, if you know what I mean? Having clarity over traits of a future partner, though these traits have been consistent for the last nine years. It just took a period of reflection, some calm after a beautiful, summer storm to realise.

Are there any qualities that you can’t do without when it comes to your relationships – whether platonic or romantic? Have you got your own three Cs? Or do your terms of engagement start with a different letter? Do let me know in the comments.

This is a safe and inclusive space and everyone and anyone is welcome to participate in BoobDay. BoobDay is about celebration and support. ‘Boob’ is a term that is intended to be gender neutral and it includes the chests and breasts of all sorts of folks. BoobDay is not limited to cisgender women. Basically, if you want to celebrate the beauty of boobs and join in with like-minded, body-positive, people who are embracing their curves or lack thereof, this is the link-up for you!  

I’m also using a prompt from Mrs Fever’s 43 for ’23, and linking in to my plagiarised version Lists, Prompts and Inspiration. Prompt 15 – Knowing! Because, when you know you know!