Self-Censoring: A Necessary Evil?

I’ve been looking at the final prompt for Wicked Wednesday a lot this summer, but words have not been my friend. Those I have been able to write down have mostly been used for the blogable fiction marathon or fulfilling my commitments for product reviews. My favourite style of writing is reflective, and it’s kind of fitting that my last post along those lines was for the bingo box prompt- Scary Stuff. A conversation I had yesterday got me all fired up, and as I sat to write I realised what riled me up was Alice and his self-censoring.

So here is my second offering for Wicked Wednesday Bingo!

I had a message from Alice today, informing me that his new Zentai suit has arrived. Much excitement ensued because I’m so pleased to see him feeling more like his old self. He continued by saying he needed someone with lots of chains to make him a harness. “#hinthint?” I replied.

But the excitement was short lived. Alice went on to say that the little finger was too long and the suit was too tight. “It might look good on your blog, shame I’m not in better shape.”

I couldn’t help myself. I got on my soap box and started dissecting what he had said.

It appeared to me that Alice thought he didn’t deserve to enjoy his kinks, because he’s gained weight. (This isn’t such a big leap; we’ve had lots of chats while he’s been recuperating.) I asked him who kink was for.

Is it exclusively for the lithe bodies which could easily grace glossy magazine covers?

As beautiful as these people are, as much as I enjoy the content they produce, there is more to life.

I love how the kink community is as diverse as the rest of the world. If only the slender models are allowed to show off the art they create, then more people will feel like Alice. Unworthy of sharing their exciting and uplifting images.

Over the last five years I’ve lost eight stone.

I found my body confidence at my first BDSM club night when I was at my biggest. A year later I made the decision to lose weight for health reasons. I am incredibly glad that my body is now fit and well. Over the weight loss it has only rarely crossed my mind that I want to look better. Across the blogging world is a beautiful array of creatives, sharing images of their bodies, bringing body positive vibes. I am proud to be a part of that.

Not once have I felt that I shouldn’t share an image because I’m not worthy of sharing, or because I might offend someone. I have limits on what I will share, for privacy reasons.

But discretion is different to self-censoring.

I share for me, to bring my own sprinkling of positivity to the world, and to communicate thoughts and feelings with Sir. And if I am lucky enough to be permitted to share images of friends then I share for them as well. Sometimes posts might need a content warning- like if there is gratuitous male nudity– rare for my site. (Thanks to Swirling Fire for being such a patient teacher.) But again, I don’t let that stop me publishing. I just like to give you a heads up. So you can make an informed decision on whether to look or not.

The header image is of Alice, taken during an afternoon’s rope play when I established that Rigger’s Rights are indeed fair. We had so much fun, and we both loved the images, he was excited to share. I know I would be just as excited to share any further images, whatever his size. So long as he is safe in my ropes. Or maybe chains.

But going back to self-censoring.

This is defined as “the act or action of refraining from expressing something (such as a thought, point of view, or belief) that others could deem objectionable.” I wonder if my understanding of his thoughts is necessary, that he wouldn’t look good on the blog. That he perhaps shouldn’t be share on my pages until he has lost weight. Or is the evidence stacked against him? Would you enjoy seeing his adventures in my bondage? Celebrate what we can do with his body because Alice is fab, at every stage?

I love to have an excuse to pick apart the jumble in my mind, as I have with Self-censoring: A necessary evil? There are so many amazing posts in the final Wicked Wednesday prompt link up. Many of them far filthier than anything I could conjure up. Go and check them out by tapping the rainbow button above!