Bruised And Battered

The last month has been intense. I’d decided to participate in February Photo fest to free up time for some bigger projects. As it turned out, those projects had to change, in order to deal with a plethora of life priorities taking over. And so I’ve found myself at mid-march, somewhat emotionally battered and bruised, but still smiling. All of the important challenges I’ve faced since early February have been seen through to completion. I even had to prioritise life over tasks!! That would have been an internal battle had it not been for the knowledge that Sir has my back, even if it means our dynamic taking a back seat while I plough through life.

“The battle for self discipline may leave you a bit bruised and battered but always a better person.”

Thomas S. Monson

I’m learning to trust my abilities.

This meant I was able to just get my head down, have faith that I’d figure it out. The completion of recent tasks saw Sir reminding me that “you can achieve anything you put your mind to”. I love the way that tasks and my submission make me a better person, all round. The motivator for tasks is pleasing him, but I do enjoy the benefits of a positive outcome.

So I’ve emerged from the full-on-ness of the last numerous weeks.

Having ticked off everything vanilla on my to do list, I immediately feel awake, clear-headed, relaxed. But it has also led to craving. The need to be physically bruised and battered, by the man who’s shown me I can achieve anything. My entire being drips with yearning. “Punishment and reward” isn’t the focus of our dynamic, but the hot, angry welts of his attentions would feel well earned.

Recollections of long-lasting shades of impact, inviting me to press and prod while I heal. These are burnt into my sensory memory, linked to every other touch he’s made to my skin. Pleasure and pain irrevocably burnt together in all the best ways. My inner masochist waits patiently for His sadistic grace, my need increasing hourly but I know that I can wait. After all, I can achieve anything. Even if that self discipline does feel more challenging than a sound paddling or a cold caning.

Have you enjoyed Bruised and Battered? Perhaps you’ll like My Comfort Zone too.