“Just” a basic black bra.

A woman in a black bra tied in beautiful red nylon rope for the post "Just" a basic black bra.

Late last spring I was fitted for a bra for the first time since my teens.

As soon as I knew I had a size I quickly fell in love with lingerie and soon acquired a variety of lovely underwear. The black bra I’m wearing in this picture is the first purchase, the one I made off the back of that fitting. A very plain, tee shirt bra from Marks and Spencers. The selection of bras they had in my size, or at least the ones the fitting lady insisted on bringing for me, were not to my taste. Not fun, sassy or playful. Sir had tasked me to push myself out of my comfort zone that day, and I wasn’t leaving the shop without a bra!

I chose this comfortable, functional and understated piece of equipment.

Little did I know when I left the shop that my wonderful friend would be bringing her new rope for me to fondle when she came for dinner that night. Fondle is exactly what I did, and when she offered to tie  me up in it I couldn’t have declined. Whipping off my blouse I decided to leave my new underwear in place, I hadn’t reached peace with what lay beneath and didn’t want to get them out in such close quarters to a friend who has marvellous breasts. It may have just been a basic black tee shirt bra, but it was the perfect backdrop for that beautiful blood red rope. It enabled me to stand proud in her wonderful creation.

Just because it is basic, doesn’t mean it can’t be sexy.

Lingerie is for everyone

 #AtoZChallenge 2019 Tenth Anniversary badge

“Just” a basic black bra was first published on A Leap of Faith.

On The Road To Eroticon- Meet and Greet


I’m winding my way down the road to eroticon.

I’ve been looking forward to attending Eroticon since I saw the posts surrounding last years event. I knew then that I wanted to be there this year, and would find a way to make that happen. My gran died in June, and I was given a little bit of money. Early bird tickets were released almost straight away, and I knew that I had to sign myself up. The closer it gets the more nervous I become. Seeing the “Meet and Greet” posts have built

NAME (and Twitter if you have one)

I’m N, barefoot and @thebarefootsub
Tell us 3 things you are most looking forward to at Eroticon 2019

  1. There are so many people I have met online, it is exciting (and a little bit nerve racking) to meet you in person.
  2. I’m looking forward to discovering more about blogging, learning new skills and gaining in confidence in my abilities.
  3. Eroticon is a huge leap of faith for me. Meeting new people en mass is always scary, and a weekend of full on learning is going to be a big challenge. It would be easier to stay at home and relax with my children, more comfortable. But I was never one for sitting in my comfort zone, and I’m looking forward to stretching myself in a new way.

We are creating a play list of songs for the Friday Night Meet and Greet. Nominate one song that you would like us to add to the play list and tell us why you picked that song.

I love to dance to this song with my children, even on the most stressful day we will end up relaxed and laughing. I’m sure more than a few of us could use a bit of musical courage. Add in that as sex bloggers we rely on social media to spread the love this song seems like a great tribute.

What is your favorite item or book you’ve purchased so far this year?

This year has only been short. In the last year I could tell you exactly, but I’m a stickler for details and…. The favourite item I have purchased this year is a 9″ girthy suction cup vibrator. It isn’t so much about the toy, more about the shopping trip itself. My wonderful friend B had a very important request for me, but I think that is probably a blog post in itself.

You can have an unlimited supply of one thing for the rest of your life, what is it? Sushi? Scotch Tape?

An odd answer for the barefoot sub… Footwear!

I don’t just mean sexy heels (that I can’t walk in.) I mean bamboos socks, snuggly slippers, supportive walking boots and flip flops. I love having a nice pair of knee high boots for moseying around in the autumn, and fluffy socks for evenings in. But I mostly will need running shoes and socks, and they are more pricey than thigh high patent leather lace up boots with scarlet soles…

What is your favourite quote from a movie?

My favourite movie is Burn After Reading. A bizarrely funny Coen brothers film which I have watched numerous times. Silly and dark, and the quote I have chosen just about sums it up.

Report back to me when, uh…I don’t know. When it makes sense.

What is your word suggestion to next years Eroticon anthology?


Complete the sentence:
I feel…

Going for a bare foot puddle stomp in the rain. That should stop the nerves building too much!

Eroticon 2019 Attending


On the road to eroticon- meet and greet was first published on A Leap of Faith.

Beyond a certain point the whole universe becomes a continuous process of initiation.


It was soon time to meet with H again.

We had been in regular contact over the two weeks since we went out for dinner, we had discussed my likes, concerns and boundaries. I had asked questions which had been answered openly and easily. He had hired a play space for the evening, and we had arranged that he would pick me up from a service station and drive up together. That would mean I could relax and we could chat easily about any last-minute worries.

I was safer than at my previous encounter but I still had a lot to figure out!

He had already given me his telephone number and car registration, I even knew where he worked. At the time I didn’t have anyone I could tell where I was going, or what I was doing, but he didn’t know that, and I felt safe in his company, comfortable and relaxed on the drive up. When we arrived at the studio I was introduced to the owner who gave me a tour. I made a cup of tea and wandered around the rooms taking it all in. This was my first visit to an official dungeon, and I was surprised at all of the toys on display, the ropes and equipment. It also was clean, light and airy… Not what I had been expecting. The play space upstairs was well equipped, and the area downstairs was comfortable and relaxed. Drinking my tea, H went upstairs to organise the things that he had brought, before coming back down for me. Then it was my turn…

H bustled down the stairs and ushered me up them ahead of him. 

I took my clothes off, as we had discussed, and I was directed to the spanking bench which I folded myself over and the spanking began. With my behind nice and warm H tried out his belt and then his cane. I was more than comfortable to continue, his technique felt good and even, and he checked in regularly. It was our first time playing together, and I was unsurprised that he was gentle at this stage, I wasn’t stretched or outside of my comfort zone. So we changed equipment, and I offered up my feet for him to cane. This was what I had come for, the reason we had started talking. To say I was excited about this part of our session would be an understatement, but I was also a little nervous.

I needn’t have worried about how things would progress.

As H had been gentle on my backside, an area which was an established pleasure zone for me during impact play, it followed suit that he would not push me when he started work on my feet. He wouldn’t want to scare me off after all! I enjoyed the sensations a great deal, when I had used the spoon on my soles I had felt a nice tingly pleasure over my feet with each sting. As the cane strokes fell on that evening the tingling spread up my calves, it was altogether pleasant and I was a happy lady. I knew that this would be an area that I could push myself in, I would love to find out how far those tingles would spread. With H satisfied with his foot caning we changed equipment again. and while I lay down he produced a Lelo wand and used it on me until I reached orgasm, and that was the end of our play session.

I dressed and we tidied up the play space before going downstairs again.

Once there he handed me the wand, telling me that he had bought it for me that day, that it was top of the range and I should really enjoy it. Then he pulled out a selection of sandwiches, drinks and biscuits, insisting that I eat…once again he didn’t… but we had a nice chat about the space, what we had both enjoyed and what could be different another time.  As long as he was happy I knew there would be another time as I was curious about whether I could take more, and whether he could give more. And he was happy with that, though I did ask him not to bring me prawn sandwiches again, as prawns are a hard limit and I did not want to offend him by not eating them.

A small thing I know, but he was happy with my request. 

Following a brief chat with the owner, and making sure that everything was as I had found it, we were on our way again, back to the service station where my car was parked, and then off to our separate homes. I was armed with my new toy, and my brain was whirring around with the possibilities for a future session with H. I knew I would have to get used to a different style and not compare H to sir; try to forget the intensity from before and enjoy H and his foot fetish for what they were.

My initiation into Bastinado had begun in earnest.



Some days there won’t be a song in your heart. Sing anyway.


Nothing could have prepared me for the sense of loss and abandonment that I felt.

It is hard remembering how difficult I found the first few weeks. I had given part of me to this man and then he left, taking that part with him. Aside from sending him the email I didn’t really know what to do, so I continued with my rules and tasks. I can see how that may read to others; why would I keep on when he had vanished? Honestly, it makes little sense, even now, except that I was floundering, I had no idea how to transition back to “normal”, or if he would pop up and say it was a test and I should have carried on, or…. At the time I needed the routine of the tasks, looking back I’m so pleased I kept on.

If I hadn’t kept on I would never have met E.

I had told him early on that I was curious about being bi-curious, and I would never have had the courage to explore that side of me without those tasks. I had been building in confidence, flirting and had even scened with another woman and her husband. When I started talking to E she was a breath of fresh air. Her fabswingers profile stated she was a highly sexed lesbian looking for no strings fun. About 5 weeks after sir went P was working nights, and the boys were in bed… E arrived at my door. She was 6 feet tall, slim, blonde and giddy. She had brought a bottle of wine with her, and a bag of toys. She knew that I was very inexperienced but keen, and she was excited to be playing with me.

A couple of glasses of wine later and the exploration began in earnest.

She was very caring and gentle, she was also very appreciative of my efforts. E shared her love of oral, scissoring and a strap-on. She was very attentive with her mouth, and when we swapped she was clean and smooth, not scented with urine which was a step up from the last time. I decided then that I only wanted to go down on smooth women. Scissoring was something I had never come across before, it was clumsy and awkward and I still don’t understand how it works in a pleasurable way. Now, the strap on was something different for me too. I had never seen one before and had no idea what they were meant to look like or feel like. The one that she brought (and enjoyed) was, I believe, a vibrator sheath attachment for the harness. It didn’t enter me and I found it a little disappointing, I wondered why people would rather this than a beautiful cock. She went wild though, loving every minute that it slid over her. I have since googled and seen in person other strap-ons, and I would love to try it again, with a woman who is less vanilla. And maybe with less wine!

When she left to go home I was so proud of myself.

I had pushed through a boundary and enjoyed myself. With a willing partner I had explored new areas and tried new toys. I was still stuck with the thought that this must mean I am a lesbian, that perhaps P had been right all along, that the reason I hadn’t wanted sex with him was because I wanted to sleep with women. And I didn’t have the option of contacting sir, to tell him all about it. I had always been asked for reviews after each scene or challenging task, not only did it give him feedback on my thoughts and feelings, but it was also a positive thing for me to reflect and digest what had happened.

Now though, I didn’t have that outlet, that form of after-care if you like. 

This was an important learning point for me. That I would need to figure out a new way to process my wandering mind after new experiences and intense sessions. I’m nothing if not tenacious so this was a welcome puzzle for me, a distraction from what else had been going on in my life at the time. I just had to figure out how to embrace this new world on my terms, without an abusive husband calling the shots or my Dominant guiding the way. The first one I couldn’t wait to see the back of, and the other, Sir, I missed with every aching ounce of my being.

My mind was working again, and I was setting the rules. Maybe it wasn’t all bad…


The amount of good luck coming your way depends on your willingness to act.

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There was no doubt that luck had played an important part in my task completion. There had been no lack of effort from me, but I had been drawing blanks left, right and centre.

So when I spotted the opportunity to kiss a woman I took it!

It wasn’t the most planned and premeditated move, it certainly wasn’t seductive or sexual. But it was a decisive move on my part, a huge step in the direction I was being asked to go. I was proud of myself, but a bit grumpy too. It certainly wasn’t everything I had imagined it would be, and it didn’t set me up well for whatever he may be planning next. With my profiles on other websites and adverts in place I felt sure next time would be better, and I was nervously excited about pushing myself further. I was pretty pleased when he sent me details of when he would next see me; thinking I had pleased him I readied myself for the day by getting an early night. The next morning I received a more detailed email. Things would be similar to before, but this time I would be spanked.

You are a bad girl N for leaving things to luck, and you can think about that today and while you are being spanked, being forced to orgasm, and being used by me in every way.

He said that he may forgive me by cumming on face, but I would have to work very hard to make up for my bad ways. How was I meant to get anything done with all of that spinning around in my head? Work, the children and my preparations all had to happen before I could leave for him, it was looking like I had a long day in store. I had instructions for how to dress and this included knickers. I knew where I was going and what time I had to be there. He also informed me that there would some gentle humiliation, to see how I got on.

And I had to put the blindfold on again, bad girls don’t get to see their sir…

As I entered his room his warm scent invaded my nostrils once more, a calming homely aroma, causing the racing in my chest to ease off slightly. Only marginally though as I had a vague understanding of what was coming and I was so excited at the thought of being used by him while worried as I had disappointed him. I didn’t think I should be as aroused as I was, given the circumstances, but the scent mingled with anticipation to produce one hot submissive. Then he touched me, explored me, inspected me… I was fully clothed but felt naked under his hands. There was a familiar buzzing as he plugged me, and then the collar (or as sir said: MY collar) was put on me and linked to a leash before I was taken on all fours to receive my first proper spanking. Oh my goodness…..I had only had one experience of being spanked and it was not a pleasant one. This was something I had yearned for and, though he explained he would learn me as we went along, and he would be gentle because he didn’t want to mark me very much, I loved the way my flesh sang as he worked over my behind. He checked in regularly, using the numbers system that we had discussed beforehand. I was fully clothed still, my skirt up and over my hips exposing my knickers, and there was a vibrating plug buzzing away inside of me.

Before I knew it I was naked and the plug had been replaced by him and I was telling him I was his slut.

P had regularly called me a slut, I had been made to feel shameful of my promiscuous youth. How different this was, I was naming myself as HIS slut at HIS request. This made me glow as brightly as my behind, in the most wonderfully proud way. Sir never once made me feel stupid or inadequate, instead I felt desirable. This gentle humiliation was fun, and felt very, very positive. As the evening progressed I struggled through orgasm after orgasm. I also enjoyed exploring him more with my mouth…his nose etched in my memory…. Catching droplets of sweat as they fell from his nose I was unable to help myself from going back for more…this felt so innocent yet so depraved. More so than the anal hook, spreader bar and rope bondage. He was ripping orgasms out of me for his amusement, to teach me a lesson about not letting lady luck do all of the work, and here I was refreshing myself with his droplets of liquid treasure, the product of his labours.

He must have been pleased with my efforts though, for I was rewarded by the most wonderful flood.

It went from my nose, down my chin and trickled over my collar. My greedy mouth caught some as well. I had been forgiven, and I was over the moon!! The thought of letting him down was really unpleasant and I would do my best to make sure I was never a bad girl or a source of disappointment for him again.


You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.


What he asked of me next was to prove an ongoing source of worry for quite some time.

I had told him that I was straight, I felt no sexual attraction to females whatsoever. I had also told him that if something was not a hard limit I would explore my sexuality for him. So when he asked me to kiss a woman he knew exactly how hard it would be for me. Everything else he had asked of me had been fairly easy for me psychologically, but this task…..this stretched me a long way past the edge of my comfort zone. Not to my hard limits, but certainly I had to drag myself over the soft limits of my mind. I had no female friends I could ask and no idea where to start looking. There was a big brick wall ahead of me, and I had to figure out a way of climbing over.

I wanted to try, I wanted to please him and (curse my curiosity!!) I wanted to see what would happen next. 

That brick wall was high, and I couldn’t find any foot holds to start with. This was partly inexperience, but partly something that P had used against me. Any time I had refused sex with him he would accuse me of being a lesbian. What nonsense that I should allow that to hold me back. I spoke about my fears with sir and he reassured me. If I did turn out to be that way inclined what did it matter? And what does it matter what other people say anyway, especially closed-minded men who behave badly? So I kept going. I kept trying. I was close to asking him to help me, this was so hard, but I got lucky. I was a member of slimming world at the time and there was a pre-christmas food evening. The consultant was the life and soul of party time and had brought mistletoe. So I got a kiss on the lips from her. And a kiss from a man in his 60’s who thought that looked like great fun.

Purely by luck I had completed the task.

Talking things through enabled me to see where the issues lay, and sir was on hand to give me guidance and support in the next step. As I lived in a town where everyone knows if you so much as sneeze it was suggested that I cast the net a little further afield.  I set up a new email address, a fabswingers account and posted adverts on other sites. I was “considering experimentation”, not looking for anything more. My efforts mostly came up blank. Looking back now it is obvious why I had no success, I can see why experienced and passionate women wouldn’t want to play with a nervous woman who may decide it wasn’t for her. Time is precious after all, and newbies aren’t an exciting proposition when it comes to indulging your sexual desires… whatever form they may take. Still though, I kept trying. Occasionally I would make contact with a woman and have a chat. This moved on to flirting a little. It was odd to see myself stepping a little closer to the boundaries of my mind. I had self-limited for so long that now I was ready to take the plunge I was increasingly frustrated to not be able to try it, to explore a bi side which I hadn’t ever wanted to and delve deeper into my submission.

This online world of hook ups and casual encounters was odd

I had been warned to be aware of scammers which led to one of the most surreal conversations ever…. I wanted to know how I would be able to tell a scammer, and this was part of the response I got:

I asked what the website whatever.com  was. It took a few replies from sir for me to get my head around the fact that it was just an example. For an intelligent woman I can be a little slow on the uptake sometimes (usually around technology, the internet fits right in with that) Fortunately, over 3 years later and I have yet to meet a scammer.

At that point though even a scammer would have been welcome.

What he was asking me to do shouldn’t have been so hard. I wasn’t shying away from working hard, it was a psychological challenge but one that I had accepted and was trying hard to fulfil. I was disappointed that I had only managed to complete my task the first time by luck, I felt I had let us both down when all I wanted to do was please him. It is only recently that I asked him if he was disappointed in me, if I had let him down. He said that I hadn’t, it was part of my journey and it was pleasing him watching me grow. I had accepted this task though and wanted to complete it properly, to the best of my ability.

Besides, just because something is hard doesn’t make it bad.


Personal growth is not about learning new information but unlearning old limits

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A couple of weeks ago I was picking up my children from school and heard one dad say to his three-year old daughter “Don’t try to do that, you can’t do that yet so don’t even try.” She had asked for him to help her on the monkey bars after seeing her friend (my youngest) swinging around. His words really made me think, and feel proud of the way that I try to parent. Those words came back to me today, while reflecting on the next phase of Sir considering me.

I was the little girl wanting to swing on the monkey bars, and he was encouraging me to try, standing a couple of steps away, arms outstretched waiting to catch me.

Had he been telling me not to try, or worse, forcing me to swing on those bars when I didn’t want to, I dare say I would have shut down. The person I am now certainly would have! He wasn’t though. Every step of the way he was asking if I understood what was being asked of me, and if I agreed to it. I was free at any time to say no, to express my fears or to just embrace the task. Sometimes there were fears, and he would help me work through them. Had I not been having to face my fears the tasks would have been too easy and I would have likely shut down, as I would have done if he were forcing me into things. As luck would have it the following task was something that excited me and terrified me in equal measure. He was to be away for the weekend, and he had a very special request

Be your own Sir for the weekend. Entertain me. Stretch yourself

The first thing that went through my head was the fear of not being good enough. How was I meant to entertain him? How could I possibly know what would please him? What should I do???? So I started. I spent the weekend with my children and husband, sometimes breaking away to complete the tasks I set for myself. He had asked me to send pictures, videos and write ups as I did things, depending on what was appropriate. I can not recall all of the tasks but I know there was body writing, stretching and a little exhibitionism. The task that I am most proud of, and that sticks with me to this day is my first step into watersports. I had told him that this was a hard limit for me, absolutely no doubt about it. But being asked to entertain him….I suddenly thought of a rose-bush in my garden that was pretty much dead. I decided to go and pee on it, and video myself.

Looking to the heavens with a grin, questioning what on earth I am doing, is something that I associate very much with Sir.

That rose-bush came back to life, it lives in a pot outside my back door and flowers twice a year. Something of a trophy, it never fails to raise a smile when I see it. He had said that he would be out of contact all weekend, and would look at my tasks the following Monday. Imagine my surprise when I received a couple of brief yet encouraging emails from him as the weekend progressed. I wasn’t sure if he was bored with my tasks and pushing for more, or if he was impressed and showing he was grateful. Either way, I was too busy being my own sir to give too much thought to the doubts in my head; it was just nice to have contact.

The following Monday he had decided that he would meet with me, see how I fitted in person. Due to availability I still had 9 days to wait, which meant more things to do for him, and another weekend to push myself and potentially withdraw. If I ever decided I was unhappy there was always the option of telling him no more… It never happened though. Yes he would push, yes some things were more challenging than others, but I never felt unsafe or unhappy.

Three more tasks. One I had no desire to do but which would be fairly straight forward oral for the husband. One I could easily manage, it was just a matter of finding the time, stretching myself physically, depth and girth. And… One that excited me more than I dared to admit. Not just the task he had set, but the way he set it…

Give a man more than he bargains for. You set the level. Impress me.


If it doesn’t challenge you it doesn’t change you

comfort zone

During those early conversations he would draw information out of me, a constant stream of little jobs for me to do. A picture here, an answer there, now two pictures each day with different writings, and then a video. Ok, ok…pictures were hard enough (confronting the image of myself before I hit send) but videos…. I had no idea what to do. Panic isn’t something which happens to me, anxiety, no not that either…. but he was definitely pushing me past the edge of my comfort zone. The first video was an innocent one, asking me to introduce myself and ask, again, to be his. Flushed with success I awaited his next request.

This one was not so innocent.

He asked me to orgasm for him. And send him a video! At this point I was rarely indulging and had no idea if I would a-be able to achieve one, or b- catch it on camera. Having been mercilessly mocked for my moans of pleasure for years I was painfully self-concious. Of course, he knew how hard it would be for that very reason, but as he had said If your sub isn’t moaning and screaming in pleasure what is the point when I initially told him of the mocking I was sure he wouldn’t laugh at me. Determination is a funny thing, and I suffered through an intense orgasm. Sending the video, again very pleased with myself. Oh no!! I had made a video of the wrong part of me, he hadn’t initially requested to see my face, just a video as good as I could make it, but I had filmed the working end so he could’t see my expression…. Another video was requested  Repeat your previous task, but this time at the point of orgasm, I want to see your face At this point in my vanilla life I was rarely able to achieve more than one a week, except on rare occasions when 3 or 4 would come close together. To try again after about half an hour was intimidating, to say the least, plus putting my orgasm face on camera…. But the way he asked, and the words laced into the email, how could I not succeed??

I could feel myself growing already, breaking free of the vanilla bonds I had been constricted by for so long.

The feelings I was experiencing were new to me. Trust, lust and pride. He never demanded anything, I knew all along that it was my choice. He was absolutely clear on that. And when he sent me a list of his baseline interests I poured over them. What could I expect during an introductory phase, things which would be extended as time passed and my experience grew. The list was accompanied by four headings.

  1.  what I’ve tried
  2.  what I would like to try
  3.  what I don’t fancy but would try, for him
  4. what I won’t do.

I had wondered if the list would be full of things that scared me, but no. There were no number 4s, and only two number 3s. Both of those were things that I didn’t know about and was worried that they would hurt, a fear  which tickles me now, when I am looking back to me then, seeing how much I have learnt and what I hunger for. The rest were either things I had done and loved, or things that played a part in my fantasies.

Initial signs on compatibility were positive.

The next day was another task, using my imagination this time. He asked me to share my fantasies with him. They tumbled out into my emails. I’m not sure if he got more than he was expecting, but he never once asked me to stop just make sure they were each sent individually so he could enjoy or study them separately. Once he was satisfied with my task for the day he informed me that I could continue to send them as I thought of them.

These tasks were just the beginning.

He was cataloguing me and my desires, learning about me in a wonderfully gentle way, teasing my inhibitions out of the way. I had never met him, and only had my instinct to go on, but I continued to put myself in a compromising position with him. Never once did I feel worried that he would abuse the trust I put in him, something I can’t explain, even now. An innate understanding that he was one of the good guys.


Things were going to step up a notch soon, he kept saying that he was demanding and would continue to push me, challenge me and watch me grow. What was he thinking up? I had no idea, but I had the strongest feeling that I would like it very much.


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