Oversharing for TMI Tuesday

1. Would you rather get a spanking in front of your family or do a striptease at your workplace?

Oh no, the impossible question! I did get my boobs out at work once, and I fucked myself in my office along with completing stretching tasks at one of the projects I facilitated. Just naming a few of my misdemeanours. But these all happened when I was on my own. The risk of getting caught was real, but I could take big precautions to ensure I wouldn’t. Having a spanking in front of my family is something I could never do. My family is my children, mum, brother and nieces. My brother is the only one who wouldn’t be surprised, having walked in on me seducing his mate when I was a horny teenager visiting him on my post A-level break. He hid his embarrassment well at seeing his little sister swallowing his mates cock, and the only comment that followed was him asking how long I’d had my nipple pierced.

Anyway, I digress… A strip tease at work, that’s my humiliation of choice… Maybe not as impossible as I first thought.

2. You are a sexy _____ .

cock wielding, long armed deviant with an ability to melt me with your kisses. (Cock, kisses and hugs, you can see my wish list currently)

3. Hey baby tonight _____ me.

…Indulge… Let’s see, tonight I want to curl up in warm, strong arms. Safe against the world. Not because I’m feeling fragile but because I want to be wrapped up in someone. And last night? Well, last night I just needed to be left alone. To satisfy my own carnal cravings, porn in one hand and Doxy in the other, wave after wave of orgasm ripping through me in private release. Tomorrow that may change, I may become indecently aroused and want my face crushed into the floor while you hold my hands behind my back and slowly graze my lips and asshole with your hot tongue, ready to pound your thick cock deep into my heat.

So tonight, just indulge me.

4. Would you rather have a rewind button or a pause button on your life?

Pause! I was raised with a saying “You can’t live your life backwards” and as a result have always tried to be the best I can be. Sure, things haven’t always been perfect but I like the way things are now. There are definitely moments I would love to pause,  to eke out a little longer. Proud-mummy-moments, happy-slut-experiences and goal-achieved-and-level-up-times. But I don’t want to go back and relive. I have so much more to get back to.

5. Would you rather have noisy sex neighbors or nosy neighbors?

Nosy neighbours. I find noisy sex to be distracting, and am not overly loud. Well, sometimes I can be, but it’s a gutteral roar during a powerful post-edging orgasm rather than noisy during the whole experience. I like the idea of nosy neighbours though. What would they see? What would they say? Would they ask to join me? Or would the shame they feel at their own voyeurism lead them to stay home and take themselves in hand? I have a few rather lovely neighbours, now I’m thinking…

Bonus: Would you rather mentally or physically never age? Why?

Mentally I’m at a good age now, physically I’m coming into what I feel is my prime. The thought of dementure scares me. I have seen people become empty shells, and others regress. As I said above I don’t want to hit rewind. Also, the forgetfulness and mental decline are things that can’t currently be fought. I know that research opens up new options all of the time but I don’t fancy my chances much. Physical ageing can be delayed through exercise and diet, and I’m always up for a challenge. I know the risk factors from my immediate family, and am taking steps to ensure that I am battle ready if it turns out I have those markers. Osteoporosis, for example, can be delayed by quitting smoking (3.5 years clear), a calcium rich diet (I love all calcium rich foods) and high impact exercise (long distance running) which lays down extra calcium in the bones strengthening them for future punishment. Yes, the physical ageing is one I’m better equipped to deal with.

 #AtoZChallenge 2019 Tenth Anniversary badge

TMI Tuesday blog

Inquiring minds

dsc_04191143498115018246957.jpg

1. Did leave your last love for some one else or no one else?

I haven’t ever left a lover for someone else. Unless you count me leaving P for myself and my children… If I have ended a love affair it has been for a reason between myself and the other person involved, either incompatibility or apathy. (Or both)

2. Do you enjoy being alone? Yes or No

I love time alone. I will often feel lonely in a crowd, but on my own I can revel in the peace.

3. Which of these reasons is most likely to spark your motivation for solitude:
a. It sparks my creativity
b. I enjoy the quiet
c. Being alone helps me get in touch with my spirituality
d. I value the privacy
e. I do not feel liked when I am around others
f. I cannot be my true self when I am around others

This one is hard. I do enjoy the quiet, and I value the privacy. Sometimes it sparks my creativity, and I am definitely more able to be in touch with my inner self. But really I think the main reason is that I need to recharge. I love being around people, watching, listening and learning. But… I can find excessive people-time to be a drain on my energy. I’m not sure if this is a stage on my self discovery or just who I am, but time alone is definitely my way re-energising myself.

4. Have you ever tried to win back an ex-significant other?
– Yes or No
– Were you successful?
– If yes, did you regret it?
– How long did the reconciliation last?

Oh goodness, yes! M and I were on and off for 14 months, at least two of those reconciliations were instigated by me. I don’t regret any of the time I spent with M. Some of it was painful at the time, some is hard and ugly to look back on. But M is no longer an ex. He is part of my family. And I don’t know if we would be here without the journey that we travelled together. We tried, we failed. Our coming together was part of something more important than a passionate love affair.

5. Do you mind if your significant gives or receives harmless flirtation?

I flirt with anyone so I would be a little hypocritical if I was to mind! Harmless flirtation is important to me, but not as important as knowing I am loved by the other. While discussing dating I discovered that an unwritten rule of the first date is to show yourself off as attractive to others. This is done by flirting! Who knew?!

Bonus: If you really knew me, you’d know _____.

that there is ALWAYS a silver lining. Even when you have to look really, really hard!!

 #AtoZChallenge 2019 Tenth Anniversary badge

TMI Tuesday blog
Inquiring minds was first published on A Leap of Faith

 

Quick fire TMI Tuesday

lighted matchstick on brown wooden surface
Photo by Sebastian Soerensen on Pexels.com

Complete each sentence with an anecdote of sexual adventure or misadventure:

1. The first time I . . .

…had sex in a car was with my first boyfriend. It was in his mums car, a white nissan almera estate. The romance doesn’t stop here. We were pulled up in a layby, and the seats were folded down with blankets thrown over the coarse carpet to make it more comfortable. We had ice cream, Ben and Jerry’s Pfish Food, and as I reclined, with my eyes closed, he ate it from my naked body. Opening my eyes to look at the starry sky I noticed the rear windscreen was fogged up, so I reached up to wipe it clear. A shadowy figure loomed over the window, and I pulled a blanket over me. I had never seen him move so quickly, but he got out to confront the individual perving on him and his girl!! He was so brave, my hero! Standing up to the…. Horse!

2. The last time I . . .

…enjoyed naked cuddles was during the summer holidays. No sex, just platonic intimacy. Cuddles, strong arms and a tickly nose. Although I would love a relationship, I love my own company and that of my children. I can take care of most of my needs, but giving myself a strong, safe space to curl up and be small is outside of my skill-set. There are people I could ask for this, but when I need skin-to-skin contact is when I am least likely to ask.

3. The only time I . . .

…have organised my own blind fuck I was so careful with all of my planning. He and I spoke on the phone, I checked out his verifications and planned my safety call. I was as safe as I was going to be, and probably even more careful than I would have been if I was actually going to see him. Anyway… He must have been really excited at the prospect because less than 15 minutes after checking in with my safety call (he was 3 minutes away) I was on the phone to her to say he had gone and I was safe. She suggested I get someone else in to finish me off. I love to be a cum dump, but it needs to be part of a bigger picture, and the expectation of this meet was so much more than the execution.

4. My best . . .

…friends, my inner circle. They bring out the best in me, and allow the worst out too. They trust and share and love. They are my chosen family, my closest allies, and people who aren’t afraid to put me back in my place should I need that too. And when I look around my circle I see that I have shared more than just secrets with them. Well, most of them, I have two close and wonderful friends who have always been purely platonic. More stories to come, but if I share now that would be spoilers

5. My worst . . .

…encounter was with a hotelier I have called MS and introduced him in this post. He was everything that I now know that I don’t want, and still makes my skin prickle when I spot his avatar on Fetlife, though it seems he has disappeared now. A good example of why I should trust my intuition.

BONUS: Everyone, no matter how much experienced, still has some unfulfilled desires. What is at the top of your yet-to-do list?

I would love to go to PisSoir in full latex and experience a night devoted to watersports. Sharing nectar with friends, old and new!

TMI Tuesday blog

 

Quick fire TMI Tuesday was first published on A Leap of Faith

Hearts and flowers for TMI Tuesday

forfetlife_dlp_mg_96894804222126933861375.jpg
Photo Credit: Dark Lion Photography

1. What are your romantic needs?

My romantic needs are minimal in all honesty. For the most part I get what could be seen as traditional romance from my friends. I miss having someone to cook with, but I have wonderful friends who will happily come round for dinner. Having someone to confide in, to share my joys and sadness, my friends are wonderful for filling that void (if you can call it that?) It could be made a little better if I had naked hugs in bed, and those confidences were in the form of pillow talk, chest hair tickling my nose while wrapped in strong arms. Companionable silences while each enjoying our own reading is something I miss. Conventional romance…. Flowers, if I want some I buy my own. Lingerie, again I buy my own. Chocolates, yes, you guessed it, I buy my own. (Actually, I buy myself nice cheeses instead of chocolates but you get my point)

2. What are your sexual needs?

Sexually I wax and wane with regards to my needs. I’m very skilled at managing my own physical requirements for orgasm, however what I am unable to replicate is the scent and touch of a man. I have friends who would happily be the man to stave off those cravings but I would rather wait until the dynamic is right for me too. My sexuality is mainly submissive, and with a man who can get inside my head the slut comes out to play, if that is what he also likes.

3. Do you agree that marriage was a pragmatic institution and in today’s society traditional marriage is not a need but merely a want?

For some people marriage is very much a need, a place of emotional security and a celebration of love between two families. The married couples tax allowance is also available for couples in a civil partnership, and with a maximum of £238 per year available you would be waiting a long time to recoup your wedding costs via this scheme. Apologies for my cynicism…. Having just celebrated my first Divorce-versary you may be surprised to learn that I would consider marriage in the future, but it would be choice rather than necessity which would lead me to that outcome.

4. Do you find conflict in your romantic relationships exciting?

The definition of conflict is “a serious disagreement or argument”. I do not find this kind of relationship exciting, whether romantic or platonic. That isn’t to say I want to be in constant agreement with those around me, I like healthy debate and differing opinions. This leads to interesting and challenging conversations and often I learn something.

5. During sex are you focused on positions or the quality and connection with your lover?

Quality and connection! I’ve had lovers want to go through a whole list of positions, turning it into some form of prescribed porno. Often the best moves are the least attractive. Saying that there are certain positions that I love to be in, that really get me going. And there are some that flick the off switch. Having the connection means that the lines of communication are open, that those “off” spots can be discussed in advance and avoided, or, if the passion is burning high then those scenarios are short circuited. Either outcome is a win for me.

Bonus: Men, what do you have a hard time talking to your lover(s) about?

Ok, so I’m not a man but I’m going to break the rules a little… Getting my lovers to open up about their feelings is something I struggle with. Something I have learnt over recent months is that there is strength in showing your emotional vulnerability. People who love us can’t support us if we keep it locked away. Personally I think that sharing emotions is a really intimate thing, more so than sex, and while I value a strong Dominant man I like it when they let me into their dark. Trust,strength and soft edges.

February Photofest

 

TMI Tuesday blog

Every mile will be worth my while.

img-20181223-wa00065323852699882543108.jpg
Every mile makes me a better version of me.

1. How do you spend most of your time?

I’m a mum, first and foremost. Those lovely children of mine fill my heart and mind with tasks and chores. I’m also studying, though that probably doesn’t take up as much of my time as it should. Aside from these two I spend the most part of my life running. Outdoors and under the big sky, more often than not calf deep in mud!

2. Is this where you thought you would end up?

When I married my ex husband I believed that he was who I would be with forever. I was happy to ignore my kinks and lead a “normal” life. I didn’t expect that I would have got it so horribly wrong in my choice of life partner. I also didn’t expect to find myself a mum, let alone a single one. But this is the path my life has taken and I am so much happier. I also have goals and plans to achieve them. A marathon, for example, has been a long-held goal. Only now do I have the confidence to achieve that!

3. What would you do differently if given the opportunity?

Aside from wishing that I had found an osteopath sooner, as mentioned here, I couldn’t go back and change anything. Why would I want to? I may not have enjoyed every mile of my journey, but the scenery has at least been varied. There are parts of my life which have been unpleasant and challenging, but they have made me understand my strengths. My life now is wonderful. Not without challenges, but I am free to be me.

And I’m ok!

4. How do you encourage creativity in the bedroom?

I am an open book, people just need to ask me the right questions. Lovers tend to trust me before we get to the bedroom. I find that this trust, along with being open and non-judgemental are all the encouragement creativity needs.

5. Tell us something about yourself that might surprise us.

For all of the smut I read and porn I watch you may be surprised to find out that the most erotic moment in print that I have found is Gone With The Wind” when Scarlet O’Hara and Rhett Butler kiss for the first time. I still get goose-bumps thinking about that.

Bonus: Sexually, who has influenced you the most?

In an odd way probably my mother. I love my mum very much, but her attitude to sex is very traditional. My Aunty is a serial monogamist and my mum does not approve. I don’t think for a moment that she would approve of my lifestyle either!! However, aside from this she has always accepted me. She has always encouraged me to be the best I can be, and she has shown me that I should follow my dreams. As my sexuality blossomed I didn’t ever think of sex in the traditional sense. Seeking out experiences, learning and pushing myself in ways that I wanted to explore.

TMI Tuesday blog
February Photofest

Happy TMI Tuesday

my happy place1893522191859037649..jpg
I’ve found my happy.

1. Do you like where you live or do you wish you could move?

I love where I live! There are things about the property that I am working on, but all homes have compromises. It is the area that I am in love with. When I find myself thinking how lucky I am to live where I do I need to remind myself that I chose to move here. I made this decision and am so very, very pleased I had the courage to find my happy.

2. No matter what life throws at me, I believe that I can deal with it. Agree or Disagree?

I have to agree with this one. Evidence tells me that I have the ability to deal with whatever rubbish comes my way. I don’t want this to be tested any more though. I’m ready for a gentle phase.

3. A dear friend is stuck in an unhappy relationship. What advice would you give to the friend to cope–how can they make lemonade out of lemons?

If they are confiding that they are “stuck in an unhappy relationship” then they clearly want my support to get out of it. It is a situation I have been in before, recently one of my favourites called to empty her head and talk things over. I don’t advise though, I share my experiences with love, warmth and humour. And then afterwards, when people have left their sex toys in an ex’s house, I can head over to help them replenish their toy box.

4. Nothing of value can be learned from failure. True or False?

Absolutely false! The definition of failure is “lack of success.” Even if you fail once you can choose to learn from how you failed, get up and try again. And if you give up…? Well, someone else will learn from your failures and find success where you didn’t.

5. Even if you are sure about your ultimate choice, do you still ask others for advice before making an important or risky decision?

I’m sure it sounds like I’m asking for advice but when I run important decisions by my friends it is more to hear my thoughts out loud. I am skilled at self counselling, and when I hit a stumbling block I have some very emotionally intelligent friends who ask the questions to get me over the hump. By the time I get to the point of those conversations I have usually decided the outcome, I just need to organise my thoughts.

Bonus: What is the sweetest or most rewarding moment in your life?

There are many little moments that I like to try to recall when times are dark. They usually centre around my boys. Now my youngest is writing he leaves me little notes lying around. When my eldest replies with “same” when I tell him I love him. When I get tight squeezes from little (and not so little any more) arms. But the sweetest moments are when I see them playing together, reaping the benefits of the life I’ve built for them. Not just for them, for me too. Those friendships I have built, that I gain strength from. Since finding my happy place my little family has grown immeasurably, with joy, love and silliness.

Click the links below to see what everyone else is up to for TMI Tuesday and February Photofest:

TMI Tuesday blog
February Photofest
Happy TMI Tuesday was originally posted on A Leap of Faith.

Fill in the blanks for TMI Tuesday.

It is time to fill in the blanks.

I am hesitant to set my intentions for a new year, but this seems far enough away from the bells to not be resolutions so I’m going to fill in the blanks that TMI Tuesday Blog has left for me.
1. I want to repeat _____ .

  • Making happy memories with my friends and families.
  • Electroplay.
  • Rope with Angel666.
  • Total submission.
  • Pure Dominance.
  • Dartmoor adventures.

2. I want to lose _____ .

  • My anal virginity again. (it’s grown back!)
  • Myself on the moors, just overnight… When I’m well prepared with all the appropriate kit.
  • My heart to someone wonderful, who wants to give me theirs too.
  • My fears of being hurt, when I feel that I push people away. (which could cause problems with losing my heart to someone wonderful)

3. I want to gain _____ .

  • Confidence in my running.
  • More latex!
  • More tiger stripes.
  • Some stamps in my passport.

4. I want to enjoy _____ .

  • The mud. In play…
  • Wing walking. (2 stone weight loss to go until I can sign up!)
  • More cake! (May hamper my wing walking time line)
  • My boys. I usually do, but more happy times please!

5. I want to savor _____ .

  • More time with my boys. They can be challenging at times, but I think I’m learning more about their needs and quirks.
  • Sunsets, and sunrises.

6. I need more _____ .

  • Skin-to-skin contact. (see Q. 2)
  • Platonic playtime.
  • Hours in the day!

Bonus: I will succeed in _____ .

  • My current module.
  • My marathon.
  • My book.
  • Making myself happy.

Click the button to see what everyone else is up to this week.

TMI Tuesday blog

Christmas TMI Tuesday

Christmas grins
Christmas Mischief

1. Are you celebrating or have you celebrated any holidays this December 2018?

For most people who know me, and perhaps if you follow me on here, it is quite clear that I have a tenuous relationship with Christmas. As a mum to two wonderful little boys who love this time of year I do celebrate Christmas. The way that we have celebrated this has changed recently…

2. Describe your typical holiday celebration.

Last year was the first time that I have taken full control of Christmas, while still giving my children the experience that they would like. Christmas eve we spent pottering around, Christmas morning the three of us open gifts and have a nice breakfast. Lunchtime takes us to somewhere wide open with a camping stove and some form of piggy goodness. Last year was Dartmoor for Bacon sandwiches, this year will be the beach for pigs-in-blankets hotdogs. The afternoon sees us cooking a slightly more traditional  turkey joint, this time with chips and peas (with extra veg on the side for me) Late boxing day we head up country, towards extended family, when everything and everybody has calmed down a little.

3. Now tell us how you really would like to spend your holiday season.

I wouldn’t change anything. I have the Christmas that I have worked hard to be allowed.

4. This time of year broadcast TV is filled with Christmas movies. What is your favorite Christmas movie?

Die Hard!!!!!

5. Does your place of work do a gift exchange or secret santa? Do you participate? What gift did you buy to giveaway this year? What gift did you get?

It has been many years since I worked somewhere that did a secret santa, but last time I did I knitted a beautiful hat for one of my staff. I was over the moon when she turned up to shift week-in week-out wearing it, not knowing who it had come from.

Bonus: Have you been naughty or nice?

I made it onto Kilted Wookie’s Naughty List so I guess that is my answer!

Pop on over to TMI Tuesday blog to see what other people think about Christmas.

TMI Tuesday blog
Christmas TMI Tuesday was first published on A Leap of Faith.

 

I told you it was… TMI Tuesday

tmi_toldyouso3303975789761952663.jpg

1. Do you go out of your way to be nice?

I don’t think. So, but then I think I’m generally quite a nice person. I would certainly say that I never go out of my way to be unkind or mean to others. What I am learning is to be nice to myself… That certainly takes effort.

2. Some time ago people were buried with items they would need in the afterlife, what would you want buried with you so you could use it in the afterlife?

I’m going to be cremated and scattered at my favourite spot at the time of death. Currently that will be somewhere on dartmoor, but it may change. I guess the only thing that I want to have in any potential afterlife would be my freedom.

3. What social stigma does society need to get over?

That we have to be perfect. There is nothing wrong with being good enough. (or so I keep trying to tell myself)

4. When was the last time you told someone “I told you so.”?

Just thinking about that phrase makes my skin crawl. I would certainly hope that I have only done that in jest, but honestly I don’t recall saying it.

5. When was the last time you were snooping, and found something you wish you hadn’t? What did you find?

The last time I went snooping was here. I can’t say that I wish I hadn’t found it, because it was a valuable lesson in trusting my gut. I wish I hadn’t snooped and had just trusted myself, but I wasn’t ready to do that at the time.

Bonus: What small seemingly insignificant thing did your parents or someone else say when you were a child that has stuck with you all this time?

You can’t live your life backwards.

That is my favourite little saying from my childhood. It is probably one of the reasons I am so keen to keep pushing myself onwards.

04f4e7811386dc5916537c5901e91d104552-wm7265015983192632106.jpg

TMI Tuesday blog

I told you it was… TMI Tuesdaywas first published on A Leap of Faith.

When you’re hitting a wall focus on one brick

Brick wall
Photo by Fancycrave.com on Pexels.com

F4TFriday #70 – Brick Walls and Inspirations

I am sad to say I have been neglecting my blog. There are all sorts of reasons, but mainly it comes down to my needing to focus elsewhere. Now though, life has become manageable once more. The state of arousal that I have been in since early august has reduced significantly and I can now get back into my routines. f4tfriday is a meme I have been following for some time now, and as I set out my intention to get back into the swing of things I found this weeks post, and decided that this would help remind me what I am doing here.

Hopefully it will give you all a little insight into my thoughts too.


Where do the ideas for your content come from? 

My main plan for A Leap Of Faith was to share the story of how I became the woman I am today. This hasn’t changed at all, and this week will see a return to the story. I also really enjoy the memes and try to participate in Sinful sundayTMI Tuesday, The Scavenger Hunt and #Boobday even when the words are failing me.

How do you get inspiration? Who or what inspires what you post?

For my story I am inspired by events that have happened in my life. I often have correspondence of one form or another to look back on, smile and share. Pictures stored on my battered old laptop are a wonderful reminder too. I’m also inspired by the work of so many of my fellow bloggers. The artistry in others photos puts my selfies to shame, and I am being forced (ok, not quite forced, but you know what I mean) to up my game and get more creative, or mischievous. 

How do you decide  what to share, and why?

I can’t tell my story without including most of the gory details… but I will generally only share what is relevant, or if something that has happened o me may be of use to someone else to read. Not just the bad things that have happened in my life, but the accidents and taboos which may not be discussed openly. I was tasked to write by Sir, and now that he is away again I mainly write for me. But knowing that I have helped others with certain tricky situations makes sharing the gritty stuff worthwhile. If I am sharing about a person directly I will make sure they are anonymous, aside from initials. If I am allowed to link to their kinky social media then I know they enjoy the exposure. I have even shared a writing posted by a friend of mine on Fetlife. I find the #SOSS idea to be wonderful too. Not only does it add meaning to my wanderings through the reader, but it gives something back to the sex blogging community which I have found to be so welcoming and inclusive. I also get immense pleasure from sharing the monthly elust publication. I have been submitting my writing for a number of months now, but this month I was delighted to have my image chosen for the header.


I hope this has given you a little insight into my world. It has certainly been a great way to reflect on why I share and how I am inspired. I’m looking forward to the next phase of writing… Changes are afoot!

sharing-elephant

Have a look at what others are saying about these questions at:
#F4TFriday

 

When you’re hitting a brick wall focus on one brick was first published on A Leap Of Faith.

Tricky TMI Tuesday: 7th August 2018

tricky_tmi

Tricky questions for this weeks TMI Tuesday. I guess that is the point, and maybe the fun?

1. Is falling in love effortless?

I don’t honestly know if falling in love is effortless. For me love seems to be a series of ways to torture myself. Perhaps the falling in love is effortless, but I have yet to fall in love with someone who can love me back in the way that I deserve? Oooh, tricky….

2. Is your significant other most like your mom or your dad?

My significant other is currently my Doxy…  I don’t think either of my parents resemble a sex toy so this one is the least tricky question…

3. Which parent do you identify with most?

Yesterday, while out for lunch with a friend, I was very grumpy because I couldn’t hear the conversation over the music. I may have turned into my dad momentarily when I asked the staff to turn the music down… I remember him being a bit grumpy with the volume of music from the music my brother and I would play in our youth. And I inherited his dry sense of humour and love of food; particularly Liver and Onion, mashed potato, mushy peas and pork pies…

4. What one thing are you lacking that you believe will make your life run smoother?

Currently, focus. I have been struggling with maintaining my focus recently due to a change in routine, the school holidays and now my boys being away for a long spell. My mind has run riot and I have forgotten to take care of the basics which has left me chasing my tail, low on energy and struggling for focus.

5. Which is sexier: constantly pushing the boundaries or playing by the rules?

I am a pleaser, I love having rules and thrive under a nurturing yet demanding Dominant. The sexiest thing for me is being pushed to break through my boundaries. But breaking the rules…no, definitely not sexy for me. Or attractive in any way shape or form.

Bonus: Do you think confessions make a relationship stronger?

I think that openness and honesty makes a relationship stronger. If you are open and honest there is no need for confessions, surely? Unless the confessions are hopes and dreams, fantasies and desires… but again, that goes under the heading of openness and honesty for me.

art beach beautiful clouds
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Click here to see what everyone else is up to:

TMI Tuesday blog

 

Tricky TMI Tuesday: 7th August 2018 was first published on A Leap Of Faith

It’s fun doing new things: TMI Tuesday 31st July 2018

New shoesNew things are exciting and scary. July has been a mixed bag for me, but it definitely feels like a very positive month. This last TMI Tuesday of July has given me the chance to reflect.

Tell it to us straight or sexy…

1. One thing that you will never do again?

I will never clean a dirty rolling-pin again.

2. Who knows you the best?

I would say either B or Cornish Chick. They are two of the worlds most wonderful women and I am so pleased they found their way onto my life. My first two give-and-take friendships too, a learning curve for all of us I believe.

3. Do you think a relationship should be 50/50 all the time?

No relationship can be 50/50 all of the time. Whether that is friends, family, play partners and lovers, needs fluctuate. Overall I think there should be a balance of give and take, or it stops being healthy, but as I have learnt with the two lovely ladies I mentioned above (and many more wonderful people) you can ask for love and support as well as give it.

4. When was your most recent act of kindness? Was it appreciated?

On saturday I was in a race (my first ever trail event). The water station was absent for some reason and I had gone prepared with a bottle of drink…just in case. There was a lady who was struggling so I let her have some of my drink. She was very grateful.

5. Are you a good friend? Why or why not?

I hope I am a good friend. I certainly try. Though this is very much an ongoing lesson for me as most of my adult life I wasn’t allowed to have friendships of my own choosing and the ones that were permitted were P’s friends first and foremost, so I was mainly isolated.

6. What is something that you tried really hard to like but just couldn’t?

PRAWNS!!!! These are very much a hard limit. The taste, the texture, the smell, the way they wriggle around in the bowl, they way they look. Definitely enjoy watching them in the sea and in rockpools, but as soon as they are for human consumption… This was particularly difficult when I was a manager of counters in a supermarket. The fish counter was my favourite one to cover, but whenever I had to serve prawns I’m sure I would turn a delightful shade of GREEN.

Bonus: How was your month of July? Did you do anything fun, interesting, new?

July has been a great month for trying new things. Starting the month with a broken cane and a sad goodbye I haven’t played this month. I was very excited to be asked to take part in an interview by Posy Churchgate for her weekly “share our shizzle.” The children and end of term stuff has kept me busy, which is no surprise. I was able to start taking my boys climbing, but as I went to look round the climbing place and the owner asked if I would be joining them I heard Ps words slip out of my mouth “I’m not strong enough for climbing…”. Instantly I stopped myself and finished the sentence “…so I’ll give it a go!” This alone shows how far I have come in my confidence, and after almost 18 months of counselling I have decided to call it a day. My counsellor told me that my enthusiasm for life is infectious. And then I have completed my first trail event, and as I went along alone I had the pleasure of meeting a number of new people over a cup of tea afterwards. Of course coffee and cake were required after that…so I headed for the nearest town and found a new coffee shop. There have been so many new things this month, from shoes to toys, through to new events and experiences.

This is something I love about my new life.

I have the determination to experience new things, the confidence to get out on my own and some wonderful friends to tell all about it afterwards.

New coffee shop

TMI Tuesday blog

 

It’s fun doing new things: TMI Tuesday 31st July 2018 was originally posted on A leap of faith.

Our first and last love is self-love: TMI Tuesday 24th July 2018

tmi_hardlife

Self-love is a topic that pops up time and again.

TMI Tuesday is one of my go-to weekly memes for the topics that come up. This week is no exception and has raised some interesting questions and some even more surprising answers.

1. What do you need to learn but won’t admit to?

I like to think that if I was aware of something I needed to learn I would admit to it and get started. There are a number of things I am working on at the moment, and other things that I would like to learn but now is not the time.

2. If you could erase one event from your life, which one would you choose? Briefly describe the event, tell us why you would erase it.

I can honestly say that I wouldn’t change anything. Life hasn’t always been easy but over the last few years I have come to like myself as the awesome woman who I am. As a believer in the butterfly effect, I wouldn’t want to risk missing out on the me that I am today.

3. Who drains your energy, and why do you let it happen?

My children are amazing, and I adore them and their mischief. They have been known to sap my energy though, when they are being particularly challenging. I let this happen because they are ten and four, and they are still learning. Patience when they are awake and tears when they go to bed. The consequences for them on exhibiting this behaviour with the other half of their parenting team don’t bear thinking about.

4. Do you practice ‘self-love’ or ‘self-loathing’?

I have replaced the active self loathing with self acceptance. I think the self-love is an extension of that. If I don’t like something I change it. Unless you mean self-love of the sexual kind, in which case I’m all over that!

5. What must you do daily to keep yourself ‘sane’?

I need to get outside into the fresh air. That can mean anything from a day spent out on the moor, or a cuppa in the garden if I’m ill.

Bonus:  Who do you blame?

I blame:

  •  myself for my incessant curiosity…
  • Sir for my confidence…
  • the wonderful Angel666 over at SKorpion Rope for my first self tie…
  • my friend C for my burgeoning interest in latex…
  • CornishChick for unleashing my giggling sadist when she handed me a flogger after I tied up her play partner…

There is so much more for me to share for the journey of How I became the woman I am today, which is, after all, the purpose of the blog.

dsc_04086357418949618121154.jpg
Self-love… my style

See what everyone else is up to:

TMI Tuesday blog

 

Marvellously TMI Tuesday: 10th July 2018.

_20180710_1043271206084229369680510.jpg
3. My heart skipped a beat yesterday

It is that time of the week where the TMI Tuesday questions are calling to be answered, so here I go…

1. What is the most marvelous thing you have ever seen?

Four years ago my youngest son was very unwell, at one point we didn’t think he would make it home. Not six hours after his lowest point his big brother turned up to visit him in hospital. The sick little toddler in his hospital crib immediately stood up and started babbling away to his superhero. The love that those two have for each other is phenomenal, and is the most marvellous thing I have ever seen.

2. Are you a starter or a finisher?

I would always have considered myself a starter. I get so many great ideas that I get started with, but often seemed to lose focus. Tasks from Sir have changed this, I have become a consummate finisher. Tenacious in my desire to finish what I start. He has given me the gift of focus.

3. When did your heart last ‘skip a beat’? Why?

Yesterday I was on Dartmoor for a quick run, and I stopped to bag a tor. Once I had put myself away again I looked around and the view from my position took my breath away. I wish my photographic skills could show you just how wonderful the view was. Vast open spaces regularly make my heart ‘skip a beat’.

4. What does your perfect day look like?

I have so many options for this, but some quiet time in a wide open space, happy children, great food and wonderful company would all be high up there. A spanking?? Oh, yes please! And some contact from Sir before I go to sleep.

5. What would you call your autobiography?

A million little leaps.

Maybe…

Ideas on a postcard please.

Bonus:  How does it feel to be photographed?

Four years ago this was incredibly hard. There are very few pictures of me before then. 15 years ago I told my wedding guests off for constantly wanting to take my photo, and the emotional abuse that I endured with P the desire to be captured on camera only decreased. With the arrival of Sir in my life came tasks that encouraged me to be more comfortable in my own body, including sharing my pictures with him. Since then I have discovered I can take an ok selfie, and even had a risky shoot with a local photographer. Still not too comfortable in front of the camera with my clothes on, but I guess that is the problem with being confident in my own skin?

Train tracks
On the train tracks with Urbstract Photography.
Come and have a look at what others are saying:
TMI Tuesday blog
Scavenger-Hunt-Bronze

 

TMI Tuesday: 3rd July 2018

silhouette of man touching woman against sunset sky
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

1. Picture the child you once were, what did that child do very well?

When I was a little girl I always had a talent for pushing myself further than people expected me to. Second best was never an option, particularly against myself. Grit and determination. I lost that somewhere along the line.

2. What are you really good at now?

I’m now really good at problem solving. Forget thinking outside of the box, I no longer have a box! And I have rediscovered that ability to push myself further than people believe, and I know that anything is possible.

3. Did you ever expect love in return and not get it?

I have known men that I have thought I loved and that they loved me in return when, quite clearly they haven’t. It is only very recently that I have come to understand what love really is, and I have given that without expectation. I have seen this clip many times, but never really understood it.  Free, pure and unconditional. Is it returned? Actions always speak louder than words… I believe so. But in many ways it doesn’t matter if it is not reciprocated. I have enough self-love to be able to give some out without needing to hear those words.

4. Who do you need to get in touch with because it has been so long?

What funny timing??!! Today I have spoken with one of my favourite friends that I haven’t been in contact with since Christmas. And she is the last person who I need to “get in touch with because it has been too long.” I am so glad I sent her a message, she is going to help me with a task…

5. What are your thoughts on this: “Every woman deserves her special day. I get that. But does it really have to cost so much fucking money? I mean, c’mon. If you’re serious about building a future with a guy, why bankrupt him?”

Pfffft!!! I don’t understand why weddings cost so much in both finances and energy. My wedding cost £600, which is only £50 more than my divorce! Rough calculations…. 14.5 years of marriage = £1.54 per week for costs… In other words I have no idea why it costs so much money. No relationship is defined by ONE DAY, it is all about the picture you paint rather than the cost of the canvas you paint it on!

Bonus: What is your number one priority?

Right now my number one priority is building a happy life for me and my beautiful children. It hasn’t been plain sailing, but so far 2018 has given me an insight into what that can look like and, more importantly, how I can achieve that.

Click below to see what other people are up to, and to join in:

TMI Tuesday blog

TMI Tuesday: 3rd July 2018 was first posted on A Leap Of Faith.

Proudly powered by WordPress | Theme: Baskerville 2 by Anders Noren.

Up ↑