The Cheek Of It

Butt cheek on show while laying on my bed wearing just knickers.

Can you believe the cheek of some people? So I haven’t shared any marks on Fetlife recently. Or on here now I come to think about it! But you lovely lot don’t get in touch and try to make me your sub. From the really dull individuals who think that going on the charm offensive with flattery is going to excite me and draw me in. Then we went through the spectrum of twonks to the odd bod who started multiple threads in the same day, insulting not just me and my friends but S too.

It was this particular arse that I stumbled across while adding yet more wallies to my archives. Yes, I keep these messages, I like to do so for inspiration.

And I was inspired!

Inspired to take a picture that would illustrate what I thought of his threads while keeping my tongue firmly wedged in my cheek…

Thread one:

your bottom is made for discipline

I love to use nettles ice cream
Hot and cold water deep heat
Wooden paddles straps and
The only real deterrent the cane x

In thread two he is asking where I live.

Naturally I ignored him.

It seems persistence pays off. Thread three, and curiosity got the better of me. Not in an “I want to play” way. More in a “why on earth is he so confident that a woman twenty years his junior, who is looking for things he doesn’t offer, will fall at his feet?” way.

I would love to play with you


My nettles and cane would
Whip you into shape xxx
(Name redacted)


Whip me into shape? How so


Well I specialise in corrective behaviour
Only if you are naughty of course xx


I see.

I believe you are misunderstanding me.

Rewarding me with the sensory input I crave is not going to correct any behaviour. (I would also counter that if I am exhibiting bad behaviour I’m not respecting the top part of the dynamic)

My former dominant, whose property I was for 8.5 years only had to sanction me twice. And that wasn’t for being naughty. “Punishment” is a word that leaves me cold.


I would expect you to obey if you want a red bottom then misbehave
My corrections are for your pleasure
A hard caning is the only exception as it is a deterrent it is mainly administered for lying
Respect both ways is imperative xxx


“I would expect you to obey” makes me curl my lip. You can expect all you want but I don’t hand control over easily, and we are already (clearly) on different tracks when it comes to D/s.

“I you want a red bottom then misbehave” is completely at odds with who I am.

Also, a hard caning is very much not a deterrent. And as I don’t lie I’d be missing out on them.

Also I’m not looking to be a third party in any relationship. And domestic service/maid… yeah, I don’t have interest in that.

Good luck in your search.


Shame I thought you would be a great slave
I could certainly redden your bottom
You sound as if you are the dominant in the relationship
Maybe you haven’t had a really sore bottom
It would be just me until I deem it necessary
I am not sure your dominant had you under control
Tell me what deterrent should one use
My caning is hard and long
You can have a playful caning no problem
I would like to meet you
Not sure you can handle me xxx
(Name redacted)


No, with the right person I am slave like in my submission. Pushy men don’t inspire that side of me to come out. Which is why, when I do submit, it is special. My former dominant had me under his spell entirely. He set the bar very high, and while I have amazing energy exchanges with a number of sadistic friends, my submission isn’t part of those dynamics.

Playful canings are not my thing, unless I’m the one administering. I’m a masochist who enjoys sharing the joy of pain with her friends.

I’m a heavy player. What I choose not to handle is arrogance. And I have an immense dislike of people who try to force their narrative on me. “It would just be me until I deem it necessary” suggests you’ve not understood what I have said to you about not wanting to be a third. Why would I be invested in something where the ultimate goal is for you to have a third?

I’m sure that looking at my pictures, a small snap shot of my playtimes, you’ll see that I have indeed had a sore bottom.

As for a deterrent… the right Dominant doesn’t require any deterrent. The reward is always going to be his happiness. And if he feels the need to punish then he has to work out exactly what that looks like, rather than me telling him


I agree with you
I am a mind fuck type of dominant
Who is thoughtful caring and totally respects my sub
I really enjoy the power exchange
And want to spank a lovely bottom like yours
I am not as bad as you think
And I would love to buy you a coffee and cake sometime
You have a fabulous body and a feisty personality all that I love xxxx
If I have upset you
I am truly sorry xxxxx
(Name redacted)


I’m not upset. I’m not easily offended. I was curious how you felt this was going to go after insulting my former Sir – one of the best men I know – and my sadistic friends. Not to mention the mansplaining about styles of caning, and picking apart what levels you perceive me to play at.

As I’m sure you’re aware, the thing that separates BDSM from abuse is enthusiastic, informed consent. Not once did you ask me what I’m looking for. And when I told you one of the things I’m not looking for you brushed over it. Like it was unimportant.
With all those indicators that you believe me, and apparently anyone I’ve ever interacted with, to be inferior to you, why do you persist in seeking a coffee?

Is it because you like my body and my sparky personality and find them attractive? Or is it more that you saw a sparky personality and thought you’d enjoy breaking me down?

Genuinely curious.


First let me apologise I did not want to offend your master he was obviously extremely good at being a dominant as he made you happy
That’s all I as a dominant want to do make my sub happy and content. It is not about imposing my will on you all I would like to do is fulfill your desires as long as I can please you and I can redden your bottom
I will be happy
I would like to push your limits a tiny bit
And help you grow as a submissive
We seem to be off on the wrong foot
As for. The coffee I would love to meet you and look into your eyes. To see. If there’s any spark or connection xxxx
Kindest regards
(Name redacted)

Seeing as he didn’t have an answer to my question, I wondered if one of you – my lovely, kind and respectful readers – might have some ideas.

For what it’s worth, I was neither upset nor offended by him. I was just curious about his train of thought and the cheek of his approach.

Or perhaps I was just in the mood to share a cheek of my arse for Sinful Sunday.

Sinful Sunday

Click the lips to see what everyone else is sharing this week. Or follow this trail to my Sinful Sunday archives where you can find all of my past submissions.

You can find more posts, inspired by DMs, woven through my blog but perhaps this one is my favourite eye roller… Underestimate Me At Your Own Risk.


  1. I can’t get past all the red flags from his side. He seems entirely disinterested in what your wants are. He seems to be fishing. I worry an inexperienced sub or bottom would fall for his BS, thinking it was normal. *shudders*

    1. It’s not even like I’m leaving it open to guess what my wants (or in this case definitely DO NOT WANTs) are.

      So far it would seem he hasn’t hooked an inexperienced or vulnerable bottom. But given the numbers game these folks use, it is ever a possibility

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.