Dark Lion, Dr Lovelace And Gas Masks.

The weeks after my munch hosting were fraught. I had received an eviction notice as my landlord wanted his house back. (Specifically the garden, his gorgeous dog needed outside space.) The days blurred into one another, rising panic at the safety and security of my children. After all, I’d left P in the hopes of making those little lives better. And now…? Six weeks after handing me the letter – two weeks before it expired and I had to be out – he realised that he was moving out of his bigger-inside-smaller-outside home and would I like it? We could do a switcheroo if I liked. Blimey O’ Reilly!! We negotiated rent and I began packing. The move happened early October and as I breathed a sigh of relief I had a suggestion from Dr Lovelace, a shoot with her and Dark Lion, a photographer friend of hers.

She was an established model and had contacts.

One of who she’d cooked up a shoot plan for a girl-girl duo shoot. “Would you like to join me?” she asked as we sat drinking tea amongst the mountains of boxes in my new lounge. She’d shared my excitement over my first shoot, and had actively encouraged me to learn more skills as a model. I’m not the kind of person who likes sitting inside her comfort zone, what better way to push myself than to get creative with a partnership who had made some amazing art in the past.

Would I be good enough?

There was only one way to find out.

I hopped in the car one Tuesday evening, when M was sitting with the boys, and drove to her house. From there she took her place behind the wheel of the car. I was so nervous, impostor syndrome hit hard. I knew I would be the amateur, whereas Dr Lovelace and Dark Lion were professional, experienced and oh-so creative.

Fortunately Dr Lovelace is intuitive and knew what I was thinking.

Instead of saying the usual platitudes she worked her magic, assuring me that they would talk me through their ideas. I had some of my own which she said she’d hold space for me to voice.

When we arrived he greeted us at the door, took us through to the studio. She showed me to the changing room, here we applied make up and removed clothes, finishing the look with our snuggly dressing gowns.

The whole shoot was terrifying, but also fun. Over the years that have passed I’ve shared a number of images from this shoot with Dark Lion and Dr Lovelace. Not to mention the follow up.

I clearly wasn’t traumatised by this first shoot, if I returned for a second.

It’s hard to imagine me being more nervous than I was during my first shoot, but being naked in nature and going with the flow is easy. A studio shoot with props and another model to work in close proximity with… Good lord! I’d underestimated my fears Dark Lion put me at ease, and Dr Lovelace put me in control of my own image. Between them they put me at ease, and our serious, dystopian shoot was actually a giggle.

With our props all used up and the ideas well running dry it was time to pack up, get dressed and head home. Dr Lovelace drove back to hers and, as she went along we started looking for a place to decompress along the way. Spotting a grass-down-the-middle lane we backed up, jumped out and I began to tie. The resulting chest harness grounded me after my first ‘proper’ shoot. It also gave us both a rush of adrenaline which would keep us wide awake for the long drive to our own beds.

I’m so grateful to the patient Dr Lovelace for introducing me to modelling and Dark Lion.

He and I have plans afoot for a solo shoot. You’ll have to watch this space and see what we come up with, without the driving force of Dr Lovelace.

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This is the latest chapter in the story behind the blog. If you’ve not read any before you can dip in and out of the posts or start at the beginning. The next post will be coming soon. Please do subscribe (in the sidebar) if you want to stay up-to-date.

In the spirit of my theme for this years February PhotoFest I’d best share some self love. While typing this post I couldn’t help thinking that being happiest pushing myself out of my comfort zone is a trait I like about myself. Sure, it gets me into trouble at times but on the whole it’s really positive.

Thank you for joining me for February PhotoFest 2023. This is my fourth time joining the month long celebration of erotic and sensual photography. If you’re enjoying it please do go and check out the previous years: 2019 was an incomplete month. I skipped 2020 due to not blogging at the time but 2021 was a joy to plan and complete, in spite of lockdowns. 2022 was a little more relaxed behind the scenes, but jam packed with pictures and memories I love.