Pain and pleasure header image shows the glossy, reflective surface of the sincerely bow tie paddle.

Pain And Pleasure!

Pain and pleasure header image shows the glossy, reflective surface of the sincerely bow tie paddle.
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I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve been somewhat quiet this month. The summer holidays have pulled up my skirt, and given me thorough spanking! Since arriving home from Paris I’ve been surfing the wave of adrenaline, just like I do after completing a big task for Sir. Which is understandable as I stretched my limits by taking that trip, just like he does when he sets me off on a big, scary mission. As a result I’ve been like a bitch on heat testing new toys and enjoying old ones. However, the intense, repeat orgasms haven’t been scratching the itch. I knew I needed something else, but what? The answer came along with the TMI Tuesday questions on pleasure and pain.

You can read on to the end of this post for that Q&A on pain and pleasure.

But for now stick with me, I want to tell you about the Sportssheets Sincerely Bow Tie Acrylic Paddle. I was sent this “sleek and sultry” paddle by Betty’s Toy Box in exchange for a fair and honest review, following on from my last paddle review. I was planning to share its inaugural outing with LovelyL. We quite often have the play some pain games together, but our summers haven’t panned out the way either of us imagined and so our play time had been delayed.

On this occasion I can only say things worked out well.

With the house to myself and finding myself insatiably horny, the realisation that I was unable to scratch the itch with orgasms alone woke me up. I don’t often indulge in pain play solo and without being tasked to. I enjoy heavy impact but I’m uneasy taking myself to the level of marks without Sir overseeing my efforts. But an acrylic paddle, I reasoned, would give a surface- rather than deep- sensation.

Packaging of the Sincerely Bowtie acrylic paddle

There is something quite decadent about the packaging. The front of the box opens like a book, and the paddle is there behind a window, waiting for you to reach in and take hold. It is glossy and beautiful, and remarkably dapper with its bow tie etched into the base of the handle.

Bow tie etched into the base of the handle of the sincerely bow tie acrylic paddle.

When you do take the plunge it is held down by zip ties. I’m cack-handed, and scratched the smooth and shiny surface with my scissors. Taking my freshly scratched, glossy new paddle in my hand I was surprised by how it felt. I had expected it to be . light and, weighing in at just 82g, I was not disappointed. It felt cool in my grip, and lacked any flex as I passed it between my hands. My brain may have been confused at this point, it is 5mm thick and this would normally be a warm, soft leather.

Would this new implement be able to cause pleasure, pain or both?

At 31.5cm long and 5.5cm at its widest, this is a manageable size for me to use for self inflicted impact play. I set about peppering my inner thighs with shiny black kisses. Because of the lightweight yet rigid nature it was easy to swing, aim and thwack the desired areas.

The word to describe this impact is “stingy”, mild and light with my first tentative blows, but I built to a hissed exhalation as I continued my assault. The pain and resulting pleasure were shallow, in their absorption in my skin. Singing across the exterior of my body rather than digging in and ripping through the lower levels.

As a fan of deep impact, the fact that I enjoyed this contrast may come as a surprise. But I love the layering up of pain, and paingasms come easier with different signals arriving at my brain- for processing- simultaneously. And don’t forget, I’m not a fan of marking myself unless it is FOR Him. There were some marks though, superficial red blushes adorning my milky white flesh. By the evening my skin had returned to it’s usual shade.

Pain and pleasure from the Light red blush markings on my thigh

Would I recommend this for pleasure, pain or both?

I took to impact play to damp down the fires of my lusty cravings and, so far, things have settled down. A little dose of pain and I’m back on a more relaxed path regarding pleasure. The urgency has decreased and I’m back down to “normal” levels of arousal.

As a masochist with a penchant for deep marks and pokable memories you may be surprised to learn that this lightweight, acrylic paddle comes recommended by me. For me, personally, I love to layer pain, to experience different sensations. While I tested this solely with solo play I can see that it would have a place in a wider impact scene, for my warm up, or to give me a rest in the middle of play. However, I am aware that not everybody enjoys pain in the same way that I do.

For example, one friend, who will remain unnamed today, wishes she could enjoy impact play. It upsets her that she “can’t take it like others can”. She can’t be marked heavily either, due to her work. But a spanking with this paddle will sound worse than it feels, so I think she would feel more at ease with receiving. And the speed with which my superficial marks cleared up (I bruise like a peach) would give her the confidence to take a paddling. I can’t wait to get her in my ropes and test it out on her bottom, and I’ll update the review when I get the opportunity!

The Sincerely Bow Tie Acrylic Paddle is available from Betty’s Toy Box for $24.99 (accurate on 24th August 2022).


As promised, here are my thoughts for TMI Tuesday this week. A day late, but never mind!

1. Which do you enjoy more in bed, pain or pleasure?

I see pain as a sensation which gets sent to the brain, processed and found to be either pleasurable or cause for concern. In bed, I don’t wish to receive the latter, but the former creates an energy which is unmatched with just by pleasure alone. However, I’ve chosen to hand over my pain rights to Sir for the most part, and so I only want to experience the intense play we enjoy with him. So with ‘others’ the pleasure is my favourite.

2. Do you like being tickled during sex? Where?

I wish I was ticklish and regularly enjoy the fantasy this desire creates. However, I’m thick skinned and unresponsive. I have touched on an event I attended, Ticklemania, where I frustrated -lers. It’s a bit of a pain that this isn’t a pleasure! I do enjoy tickling friends when they are in my rope, but that’s not a sexual thing, just me being a bit mean and having a giggle.

3. Have you ever used feathers during sex?

No, as with my response to tickling, I think this would be a wasted endeavour. I enjoy a finger trailing up my body, in much the same way one might with a feather. But it’s the faint, physical connection I appreciate there rather than a gentle tickle.

4. Do you like to be blindfolded during sex? Why?

Being blindfolded by Sir is always a joy. Putting every ounce of my trust in him makes me feel vulnerable and loved, and sends me into my submissive headspace without delay.

I do also enjoy the anonymity with ‘others’ but need to have a trusted friend to manage the situation for me as I don’t wish to be that vulnerable with relative strangers. I just like the sensation that I’m aware of when I don’t have to look at people. And it’s not the same when I close my eyes!

5. Have you ever used cold or heat as part of your sex play? What provided the cold or heat?

I’ve used both. Glass toys in iced or hot water would be the most common. Or just keeping the glass toy in the fridge! I like to try different enhancement gels, which come in both heating and cooling, and these have varying results. Unlike grated Ginger which is just hot-hot-hot!! I recently tested a heating toy which was so gentle in its warmth I barely noticed. And then there was the task to “stretch my boundaries” when I wondered how many frozen grapes I could fit. I removed them from the freezer fifteen minutes before use to ensure they didn’t give me freezer burn, and they thawed before being expelled.

6. Do you enjoy being spanked, giving spankings, or both?

Mostly I enjoy receiving. As the pain monkey to Sir’s sadism I blossom under his touch. But I only submit to him, and often find myself with willing bunnies in my rope, with bottoms ready for spanking. Well, it would be rude not to, right?!

7. Do you have a safeword? Have you ever used it?

Sir and I use traffic lights and numbers. I’ll regularly use numbers to communicate where I am on the pain scale. I have called Red once with him, though not as a result of his actions. While seeing another guy he requested my safe word be “Have Mercy”. I didn’t like this. (Why would I want to humiliate myself when I’m at the point of needing to come out of scene?) When I used it with him he’d forgotten what “Have mercy” meant. Needless to say, that was the safe word that hastened the end of our time together.

TMI Tuesday blog

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