A Gifting Kink. Is This For Me? header image shows a cast breast, painted pewter, displayed in a white box frame.

A Gifting Kink. Is This For Me?

A Gifting Kink. Is This For Me? header image shows a cast breast, painted pewter, displayed in a box frame.

The topic of discussion for kink of the week is gifting. I couldn’t help but take stock of my thoughts, what with Christmas fast approaching. You see, I don’t necessarily go all out with presents. At this time of year I get a little grumpy around the thought, and what feels like huge pressure to spend, spend, spend!

I shocked myself when I shared a Christmas Gifting post earlier this month. This was prompted by being asked what I’d like to receive, and also what I would recommend for others to gift their partners. But I couldn’t help but add a bathbomb recipe, which really reflects my thoughts on gifting. I like to make things for people, but I also like to just send surprises in the post, or arrive with a little treat. I don’t consider these to be presents, but I guess they are. All of this is well and good, and I am very happy hearing from friends and family who discover this thing, whatever it is, that is just for them.

How does this relate to kink? Specifically my own tastes in this area.

Sir and I have been doing our thing for over seven years and we’re not really gifters. My first birthday celebration he brought a surprise gift for me. Or for him. One which he could use to amuse himself with my anguish. Some years later he left that in my possession and I’ve enjoyed solo many times. There are other things he’s left with me, and I’ve loved dearly, but we haven’t really gone in for the wrapping and exchange that comes with traditional sharing of presents.

What exactly is a gift though? And can it be a kink?

The free dictionary defines a gift as “something that is bestowed voluntarily and without compensation.” Simple! And, as with so much of life, it is really up to those involved what form gifting takes. For Sir and myself we exchange our own very special gifts through our day to day relationship. His gift is Dominance. He nurtures, supports, advises (when asked), helps me grow, laughs with me and holds my hand when things are looking difficult. He believes in me, often more so than I believe in myself. The list goes on, but it’s a gifting post not a smushy one! All I have to offer is me. And my submission. I’m his, entirely. And he gets to see all of me.

So while gifts are not my kink, maybe my kink is the best present I could ever offer?

Last year I had something I wanted to share with him.

Beyond my submission, something physical.

So I asked if it was appropriate for me to give him a present.

This might seem an odd question to ask the man I am so devoted to, but like I say, this isn’t part of our relationship. New things require consent, in both directions. His response was very typically Sir:

“Gifts are lovely, but I’d rather you spent your money on yourself.”

This is something I adore about him, that he places myself and my boys above himself. But in this case he had nothing to fear.

You see, he’d given me an art task not long before.

To create some body art. As always I could come up with my own thing, but it had to be a challenge for me. On this occasion I decided to try body casting. Turning to Google I discovered I’d be able to cast my boobs with relative ease. Ha! I did cast both sides, and was pretty pleased with the results. So was he when I shared the finished product.

But I wasn’t done.

I wanted to gift him one and, once I had the go ahead I framed them both. I chose my favourite breast for him- I’m not the only person to have a favourite boob, right? Then I hung the other on my bedroom wall. Writing him a card of thanks, I do love to write, I then wrapped them up. I left it beside the front door for his next visit, and so he was able to take it on his way with him. The freedom to open at his leisure, and enjoy in his own way

His gratitude was also typically Sir.

And while I gave it to him to make him happy, and with no expectations for him to share that pleasure with me, I must admit to experiencing a little thrill when he thanked me for the thoughtful gift. And while I know that this will always remain a rare thing for me, I can very much understand how people enjoy gifting as a kink.

If gifting your kink? I’d love to hear your thoughts either way. You can let me know in the comments or get in touch via the contact form.

A Gifting Kink. Is This For Me? is the latest kink to join my kink of the week archives. You might also enjoy V is for View.


  1. Gifting is my primary love language. Do I get off on it? No. So I can’t say it’s a kink. But it’s an important way for me to show people I care.

  2. That is such a lovely gift. I wish I was better at thinking of gifts for people but I guess I’d rather do something for them than send them something they may not like.

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