
The prompt over at Tell Me About this week is Rope. Well, that piqued the interest of this rope slut! As I’ve spoken about before, in both the written and spoken word, rope is one of my main kinks. I couldn’t miss this topic, could I?
The questions being asked are around if rope is one of our kinks? (I’ve already answered this one) Whether we are a bunny, or a rigger? Do we love it or hate it? What experiences have we had? In fact, they want to know everything!
Well, if you’ve spent any time in and around A Leap of faith you may have seen something already:
I’m a rope slut… I hold my hands up, it’s completely true!
I’m not an expert, far from it. But I am an enthusiast and rope makes it into many of my posts. A quick search for “rope” brings up 6 pages of results. And that is just the posts which have been properly tagged and categorised. You may be wondering what else I could possibly have to say on this subject. But like any rope slut worth her salt, I don’t think the words will ever dry up.
The problem I have is where to start? I can’t start at the beginning, I’ve already been there! My first time meeting Sir, my first time in rope. A chest harness. One long held craving, sated. But curiosity sparked. Having enjoyed restraint in my younger years, this was a whole new level of connection, sensation, warmth, control… For a number of years I only associated rope with Sir. In his absence I explored kink and myself, but the rope never felt the same. Sir tied for control, and giving myself to anyone else in that way has just never worked.
My relationship with rope changed dramatically during his second long absence. Having made friends with people at munches and events, the world opened up before my very eyes. There were connections forming with folks of all kinds of kinks, but the ones that I’m thinking about now are the three key kinksters in my self-tie beginnings: Trautaruan, Angel and JD.
Trautaruan kept inviting me to the rope munch at Studio Onyx, but I didn’t feel I had anything to offer, and no-one would tie me anyway. But he kept liking Angels posts on Fetlife, and she mostly did self ties. Her work still blows my mind, an inspiration! So I sent her a message. She talked me through the basics of what I would need- a couple of hanks of cotton rope and some safety shears- and pointed me to YouTube for basic tutorials. And with a virtual rope buddy in JD the cycle was complete.
My first self tie was a basic chest harness.
I’ve only just realised that the first time I was tied, and the first time I bound myself were both chest harnesses. Different styles, but the same. And they are still my go-to for a quick boost of creativity through rope, just like the image I’ve used for the post.
But this rope business is a slippery slope. My collection grew quickly. Cotton, hemp, jute, hempex, nylon, coir. So many textures and characteristics, each material has its own challenges. But none of these are insurmountable. Just little puzzles to work out! Each new hank would be taken on a trip to the moor, and I’d sit in nature, and just play. Feeling the rope between my fingers is something of a meditation for me. When I took these steps to learn rope I was in a dark place emotionally. The skills that were making their way into my soul provided evidence that I wasn’t worthless, useless or incapable. In fact, quite the opposite.
There is a group on Fetlife called Self Tie Tuesday.
In those early days those weekly prompts gave me somewhere to go, a community to be a part of. No judgement on skill level. Just pure and unconditional support. I started pushing myself to try new ties, different hitches and frictions. Incorporating weaves, and learning to dangle myself (safely) from the beams in my bedroom. Or from trees on Dartmoor. The problem is, there are only so many things you can learn from little videos on the internet. Safety guidance is so much quicker and easier to learn in person, from people you trust to teach you their own mistakes.
And so I began attending local rope munches.
This prompted a big leap in my abilities, not only with bondage, but socially. I finally got to meet Angel, however briefly, and it’s where I first encountered Loki, months before our first conversation. Our friendship started with Dartmoor and rope, and 3 years later that is still the focus. Generally at the same time!
One of the benefits of tying with him is that we try new things and they don’t always work.
I can share tips if requested, but I appreciate how irritating it is when a bunny tries to tell the rigger how to tie! We all have boundaries and limitations, after all. I have also learnt to communicate clearly and decisively, with someone who isn’t my dominant. I know he will listen when I say “my thumb is feeling cold” or ask “what exactly are my fingers doing? They feel weird!” Even asserting myself has become easier with comments such as “I’ve got this, but only for another few minutes, then it needs to come off” becoming an expected communication style. I have been building up trust in the world since meeting Sir, and this relationship has increased the amount of evidence that people can be depended upon to do what is needed.
As I grew, so my style of learning needed to adapt. I don’t know how it happened, but I slowly started to share some of my knowledge with friends who had become stuck. A single column tie at a much became a reverse box tie, which then evolved into dinner dates with a healthy dose of Shibari and objectification thrown in. I had somehow become a rigger, as well as a bunny and a self tie aficionado.
It was somewhat organic, that period of growth and change.
And it is a joy to be part of a great community in person as well as online. The online part has been particularly useful over the course of lockdown. I’ve shared rigging sessions via zoom with in-person friends from within the local rope community. And been able to join in with workshops and memes from a safe distance. I’ve been checking out some of the posts in my old haunt, self tie Tuesday. Participating in Tie Me Up Tuesday, a meme hosted by Mila, has been wonderful too. It’s currently on hiatus, but I know she will be starting it up again.
Time gets swallowed up with home-schooling, so rope isn’t my priority at the moment.
There is a certain ebb and flow… This is my realistic approach to life in general, and is perhaps more relevant to my kink world. Like an old friend, I know rope will always be there, just waiting to pick up where we left off. The rustiness of my fingers accepted as part of the process.
I’ve even been able to share some of what I know, not just by hosting a sadistic rope workshop. It’s happened through lockdown too, through zoom and in person. SWL is my bubble so when we got together I showed her how to tie a chest harness (another blooming chest harness!) and we tipped wax on our breasts, had a good old giggle. She did so well, and I hope to teach her some more at some point. And then there is my own learning. With Angel, who happily took some time out to share thigh ties and extended hip harnesses with me.
Like I said, it’s great to have a circle of friends with shared interests; a community.
This new lockdown is harder on everybody, I think. Something positive to come from it is that virtual company has become easier to access and better understood. As we move out of restrictions I hope that some of this will continue. As a single mum it can be hard for me to attend events in person, my children will always come first. But as a rope slut I wish to develop my skills. And the best way to do that really is in person.
There are lots of events and studios that I would like to attend in future.
And virtual friends I’d like to tie with in person. I have a London based friend (a rope hero I met some time back) who would love to share some rope time at his local studio, Anatomie. All I need to do is give him a shout when I’m that way (and social distancing isn’t required.) And then there is Swamp, in Bristol. Where they hold bi-monthly workshops in rope bondage, both practise and skill sharing. But more than these it is meeting up with friends, one-on-one as well as at local peer rope events. Places for learning and practise.
A space for growth and connection, both as a rope slut, and as a friend!
Thinking about peer rope takes me back to the beginning of this blog. And that message that popped up just before I was due to learn a tie that had been my nemesis for so long. Which, as luck would have it, is exactly where I have reached in telling the story that he tasked me with at the outset of my blog: How I became the woman I am today. So if you’ve enjoyed learning a little about this rope slut, then stick with me, there is plenty more to come.
From the story of how the barefoot sub became the woman she is today, to toy reviews, with a hefty dose of contemplation, a sprinkling of erotica and a LOT of nudity in between, you can be sure to find something to tickle your fancy at A Leap Of Faith.
It’s nice to know another rope buny (or slut). I also miss the munches and rope nights, spending time with sadistic friends. I really miss naked yoga (which is really strange because being nude in public gives me the oddest form of anxiety).
As for homeschooling, knot tying is a class at my house. But i have a rock climber and sailor as well as an earth ranger ,so it doesn’t seem out of place. Lol
I love the idea of rope classes. Smallest has been tying himself in skipping ropes for years… I think common sense should prevail for homeschooling!
I love naked yoga, but doing it outdoors at the moment is chilly! Not as cold as what you have to deal with though!
Beautifully tied as always … and so perfectly placed across your nips !!!
Xxx – K
I managed to keep it Instagram friendly! 😉 N xxx
I love reading about your experience with rope, and love even more to look at the ties you do. Like you know, I have only started dabbling into self-ties, and really need to get back to it. I think my goal for this year is to be able to do at least a couple of ties from memory, which means I will have to practice first to perfect them 🙂
~ Marie xox
I think it builds up in layers. I still feel the frustration when learning new ties, but then, all of a sudden, my fingers are doing the work without input from my brain. It’s weird. The only thing I can say is stick with it. And the practise is always fun! N xx