When I saw May More’s top 9 for 2020 post I knew I wanted to join in. The idea isn’t a new one for me, having taken part a couple of years back on instagram, but I hadn’t considered using the idea here. I also wanted to do a review of my year in blogging. As luck would have it I had been out of words for the first three months of 2020, and so had 9 months to work with.
My top 9 for 2020 has not been chosen with stats in mind.
I’m afraid I will need to learn this for next years roundup. No, these have been chosen to celebrate the smiles and memories they brought to me as I browsed my work. More often than not these smiles come from the connections which have strengthened, even in these time of separation. Over this post I hope to share some of these tales with you. So, without further ado…
Here is my Top 9 for 2020
I had some fairly intense times throughout April. The wonderful return of Sir, my children being home schooled and certain problems that needed fixing; I even managed to find my words and start writing here again. In the early days of lockdown I was invited to join an online munch. A group of us from the South West, some old friends, others unknown, had a WhatsApp group.
We celebrated birthdays, had little contests and offered mutual support. I was able to tie in the joint baking challenge with birthday wishes (I’m not sure if I swayed the judges). It was a great place to be a part of. There was cheeky banter as well as thought provoking questions. Those questions led to conversations on issues such as politics, puppies and feminism. My older friendships in this group have been strengthened. And some new ones have woven their way into my world. In those digital walls, someone was always about that matched me, no matter the mood: excited, wound tight, or sad. It was a wonderful community to be part of.
Two months of staying home and I was finally allowed up to my beloved Dartmoor. Not only that but I was to meet SWL for a socially distanced walk and picnic. I may have just exploded with joy when Sir sent me through tasks. Fortunately for me I had a trusty marker in my car!
For me body writing is a mark of honour. It is also a way to feel his touch even when physicality is impossible. His words give me a sense of belonging. Those feelings of joy are matched by my connection with Dartmoor.
My choice for June is my scavenger hunt location: name out in the wild. This took a lot of nerves on my part, but I found it strangely calming to have an even more nervous SWL behind the camera.
This month I also pitched my first article and was published on Coffee and Kink: Wrapped in Rainbows.
Due to the restrictions, coupled with the time (and ability) to write, I have been able to reflect on how life has changed for me over the years. I have come to life as I have found the freedom to just be myself. That includes being brave.
It took some courage to put my name down for an open call from a fellow tweep. They created this image from a photo taken of the marks Sir left when last he came. I absolutely love it! They recently took a break from blogging and have since returned as Raven The Alien.
I had great fun choosing my top 3 for Wicked Wednesday this month too.
I was asked to spot for a friend who likes tight bondage. My visit was socially distanced, and he escaped his own binds without need for intervention. Afterwards I decided to give an old favourite tie a whizz, just for the joy of rope. (And for an excuse to sort out his rope sack!)
It was nice to look back over past attempts and to see the change, not only in my physique, but in my confidence with rope. The addition of a smile to my face as I recreated this tie, whereas previously I had only frowned until it was complete, reminded me that joy can be cultivated. Bondage has indeed brought growth in wonderful ways.
At the start of the year I deleted my Fetish List on Fetlife. I was disillusioned by the trivialising of sexual needs, and the fetishing of mischievous wants. It took me a little while to unpick my feelings on this. In the end a 4 Thoughts prompt and a pain task came to the rescue. It gave me a fresh perspective on what I want, and what I have a deep rooted need for.
Sometimes we need a reminder to play. The walk that this picture was taken on, with Loki, provided exactly the right opportunity for me. The sunshine, pork pies and jelly babies clearly have an effect on my silly side. Oh, and Loki too!
I guest reviewed for Little Switch Bitch: Satisfyer High Fashion. And at the very end of the month my part in the Fiction Relay came up: Fiction Relay XIV: Sonia. This was a nerve wracking but exciting project to be a part of.
After 2 months of puzzling, support and hard work I launched Mindful Moments. An open space for sharing positive moments and overcoming struggles. I would love to welcome more bloggers as well as guest posters to the meme in 2021.
I spent a lot of time in November mulling over my experiences from almost exactly 3 years previous. There is a lot of sadness among friends, due to restrictions. The loss of the scene is a worry that keeps coming up. I tried to use Lockdown #2 to reflect and plan, making (flexible) plans for when life is safer again gave me a helpful perspective. Plans such as another photoshoot with the lovely Dr Lovelace are one of many things to look forward to.
Over the summer I have been treated to a number of body art tasks. My skills have increased with my willingness to try new things. And to push through when my ability falls far short of my creativity. I love this image. I’m so proud of it, and was excited to share. I was surprised at how well received this image was, but I am definitely spurred on to try other ideas that may be bubbling around.
Another surprise for December came in the form of 47th position for Molly’s Top 100 Sex Blogs 2020.
Aside from surviving Christmas, my most exciting achievement for the month was my first anthology publication: He Will Obey.
So that is the end of my year in review. This post barely scratches the surface of wonderful moments this year has brought my way. And I find myself wondering what 2021 will bring. All that is left to say now is
Happy New Year!
Thank you for joining me as I look back on my Top 9 for 2020