The power of love, some ramblings off the back of a pretty tie and a song!
I was talking to ML a few weeks back and she mentioned the heart harness for this weeks Tie Me Up Tuesday prompt. I was excited to see this as Saturday was National Love Note Day and I had an idea for a post. No prizes for guessing what I had in mind! So I sat down and wrote, my heart pouring out of my fingers as I typed. But something was wrong. I would apologise, but somethings don’t need sharing on a public forum. If I share that then it needs to be read by the intended recipient, direct and personal.
That’s for another day, perhaps.
Outside of my parenting love is a fairly new feeling for me. But how did I come to let it in?
This morning I had a reminder pop up in my phone. A photograph which took me back to a beautiful autumn evening.
It is 5 years since I sat on that beach and watched the biggest moon I have ever seen rise over the cliffs to the east. As it did M came clambering up over the ridge and surprised me with a hug. He and I were never destined to be together forever, but through our parting I started to understand love and what it means to me. I still had a couple of years before I realised that I was hopelessly in love with Sir, apparently I am a bit slow on the uptake! Others have known this for as long as I have known them. And I only had the one true friend that I knew I loved. B was a revelation and the first of my tribe. This is a phrase that B is keen on and I finally understand what she means!
It was B who showed me that it was ok to love someone and not be IN love with them.
From here on in I started to open doors and let people in. And there are so many wonderful folks in the world that I am so lucky to have met. Occasionally someone comes through the doors that it may have been better if they hadn’t, but life is about learning and through these people I have learnt boundary setting and my expectations. Most importantly though, I have learnt that I am alright. By learning to love others freely, without expectation of them, I am able to let them love me in their own special ways. And what does this mean?
It means that I can even love myself.
And I can tie pretty little chest harnesses and wear my heart on my
sleeve breasts. I can let myself be beautiful and see the beauty in others. For someone who is late coming to these feelings I still find it uncomfortable to write about and say how I feel. Perhaps that is due to life events, or maybe it is just because I like to show rather than say? Whatever it may be I am no longer sleepwalking, constantly learning and growing. Sometimes it is a force from above, other times I can feel it rushin’ in, cleaning my soul. Why? How?
I don’t know…
But that’s the power of love!